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forget what did

@volkswagonblues / volkswagonblues.tumblr.com

she/her // one quarter century (plus one) years old //chuffystilton on AO3 // my fic tag
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LISTEN ZUKKA FANS, I know what you want. You want to read a completed novel length Zukka fic about the painful process of decolonization after a century of war. You want 90k+ of people talking to each other about racism and trauma and what it’s like to be obsessed with the past. You want him visiting the Southern Water Tribe in a way that feels true to both East Asian and indigenous cultures that the show’s based on. You want to Think About Racism for 90k+ words. 

You want all the good stuff: the hurt/comfort and mutual pining and queer exploration. The Blue Spirit hijinks. The scene in brothel. A relationship that’s all about gaining intimacy and negotiating boundaries. Plus, lots of jokes about Zuko’s tacky relatives and lots of weird bending pseudo-science. Lots of funny letter-writing and Zuko being stressed and Sokka being vulnerable. If that all sounds good to you, then..

THE FIREBENDER’S GUIDE TO LIVING LIFE AFTER DESTINY, 90k, sokka/zuko, AO3 ]
In which Fire Lord Zuko and Ambassador Sokka get drunk, go fishing, watch theatre, uncover a conspiracy, visit a teahouse, destroy a historical monument, and reckon with the painful legacy of the past – but not necessarily in that order.  (AO3 link)
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Twenty years ago, February 15th, 2004, I got married for the first time.

It was twenty years earlier than I ever expected to.

To celebrate/comemorate the date, I'm sitting down to write out everything I remember as I remember it. No checking all the pictures I took or all the times I've written about this before. I'm not going to turn to my husband (of twenty years, how the f'ing hell) to remember a detail for me.

This is not a 100% accurate recounting of that first wild weekend in San Francisco. But it -is- a 100% accurate recounting of how I remember it today, twenty years after the fact.

Join me below, if you would.

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redheadgleek

Vienna Teng wrote this song in response to witnessing that weekend. It's one of my favorites.

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slyeposting

You order a package off Amazon. When the Amazon delivery guy shows up to your door, instead of giving you the package you bought, he beats the shit out of you. Then, when he sees that you are not dead yet, he calls all of the Amazon delivery people in the area and they all proceed to beat the shit out of you. Miraculously, you survive. Another miracle: a friend in your neighborhood caught the assault on video. After a month of recovery and extensive hospital bills that you have no idea what to do with, the video has gone viral. You read the comments below. “This is what happens to people who fuck with Amazon!!!” Someone says. “I’ve never been beaten up by Amazon employees, and I’ve been using them all my life!” Someone else comments. Later, you start to see articles popping up about your story. They all mention that when you were 17, your license was revoked for reckless driving. In a Facebook post on your mom’s feed, someone is going on a rant about how not all Amazon delivery guys are bad, and that if you look really close, the “bad” ones are just stressed out. Your name is trending on Twitter. Jeff Bezos films a response to your attack, denouncing the video of you getting beaten to within an inch of your life by his employees as becoming “a symbol of hate towards Amazon.” The people who attacked you still deliver packages around your neighborhood. You saw one of them just yesterday as you were watering your plants. You still can’t pay your hospital bills. Your phone dings- Twitter again. “Maybe if you didn’t order from Amazon,” someone pipes up, “this wouldn’t have happened!”

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under my dictatorship, every female character will act like bruce willis in die hard, and every male character will act like a cardigan wrapping hbo wine glass wife

you may not like it but this is peak female performance

oh my god it's been 2 hours since i reblogged it and i can't stop thinking about a version of Die Hard where a chainsmoking and hard drinking Joann McClane is estranged from her high-flying corporate husband (because fuck you she's not moving to the west coast for his job!!!) but goes to LA anyways and purposefully kicks off the stupid high heels she put on for this party (should have known they were a bad idea) and saves the day barefoot at Nakatomi.

Joann McClane in her cringefail marriage growing estranged from her children because they're mad she's not a mother that fits anyone's idea of "a good mother".

Joann McClane in her stained undershirt and practical sports bra saying "yippie kay yay, motherfucker".

Joann McClane, insanely hungover, driving a cab straight through central park while samuel l jackson screams in the passenger seat

Joann McClane knocking on the door of the twinky lil hacker guy in Die Hard 4 and they FALL IN LOVE and six months later she decides why the hell not, I'm gonna marry the guy twenty years my junior and that's the story of how she broke the heart of every lesbian in NYC

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