THE BEST 

@zombeesknees

HE THREW THE NOTHING AWAY JUST TO MAKE A FUCKING POINT

Drama Emperor Alfred Pennyworth

Alfred is the real hero. Fucking fite me!!!

Excuse me, everyone is always about Batman being so cool ans Spider-Man so funny but there is only one true emperor of snark in the comics realm and it’s Alfred Pennyworth.

And it’s true for every incarnation

Every. Fucking. One.

she knows she’s not allowed to bark at the cat, so her loophole is just to make a bunch of noises that are not barking instead.

i am coming down off anesthesia and i have a great idea for a text post hold on

when someone asks you if you know the letter after F

DO YOU REMEMBER

Monica Lewinsky is funnier than all of the comedians who made shitty jokes about her. 

my tinder bio

I was looking over some notes I’d taken in a lecture and one of them just said “I’ll kill Freud with my bare hands”

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) dir. Beeban Kidron

Bacchino Malato (Caravaggio, 1593)

“tom holland’s peter parker is a nerd”…. I have to laugh. I HAVE to laugh. tobey maguire’s peter parker did not wear the highest prescription glasses, run after the school bus while all the kids and the bus driver laughed at him, wave at people that weren’t waving at him, blurt out random science facts when no one was listening, work for the school newspaper and carry a clunky camera around all while wearing dad!polos over white tee shirts to be disrespected like that

nerd:

geek chic

Skater Chic

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post