Onion Headlines x Freaks and Geeks

Throckmorton

Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Apparently this is a running gag in math textbooks

Oh, no, my friend, @aceyuurikatsuki . It’s not just that. It is so much more. Settle down and let your friendly neighborhood x-ray tech explain you a thing.

Throckmorton’s Sign, otherwise known as Throckmorton’s Principle, does in fact have to do with dicks. Because it is fairly normal for a dick to show up on a hip or pelvis x-ray. But the thing about Throckmorton’s Sign is, it’s not just that the dick is visible. It is a legitimate diagnostic tool.

Let me explain: let’s say a person equipped with a penis is in a car accident and has right leg and right side hip/pelvic pain. Their doctor will order x-rays. Unfortunately, sometimes fractures are so small that they can be missed, or, because the patient is in such bad shape and the images obtained aren’t the best quality, the radiologist can’t be sure for one reason or another if what they’re seeing is actually a fracture.

So what do they do? They look for the dick.

You heard me correctly. The dick.

Throckmorton’s Sign is when “the penis points to the area of pain.” So if the above-mentioned AMAB patient’s xray aren’t displaying a clear, obvious fracture, but their dick is pointing to the right side, 9 times out of 10, the injury or fracture is on the right hip or leg area, so then the radiologist will focus on that side while reading.

Now I know what my non-radiology followers are thinking. “Ace, this sounds like bullshit. This can’t be true. You’re lying through your teeth.” But I swear to you, it is 100% accurate. I have seen a positive Throckmorton’s Sign multiple times with my own eyes over the course of the past 7 years. Ask any x-ray tech, and they will probably agree with me.

Your dick is good for at least one thing, and that thing is helping a radiologist diagnose your upper femur, hip, or pelvic fracture.

This had been a PSA.

holy fucking shit

Your cousin, Dick Pain Compass

!!!IMPORTANT FOR BLACK US VOTERS!!!

I saw this on Facebook and went to check my registration status, sure it was fine because I voted recently, but I put in the info and it said I’m not registered

PLEASE, especially if you’re a Black voter, check your registration status at vote.org

Know your status

Does your last name sound anything like Lopez, Martinez, or Rodriguez? Mine does. When I saw this post I checked my voter registration status online with my state. Despite registering just three months ago, I was no longer registered to vote, and I did not receive my ballot. If you live in a mail-in voting state and you didn’t get your ballot, contact your county election official/county clerk for a replacement.

Make sure you check with your state’s voting site as well. I just had the shit scared out of me because that website said I was registered, but when I checked my state’s site (and made sure I had the right county selected) it said I was registered.

It’s worth checking your state’s site every few months anyway (especially when any election is coming up).

Texas is definitely purging voters. They’re also making it harder to re-register if they purged you. I hate that this is true, but POC will need to check and check frequently to stay registered in Texas.

College students, too. In the 2014 election, I had to vote in San Marcos, and I can’t tell you how many Texas State students were turned away because they didn’t cross all the t’s and dot all the i’s on getting their registration transferred and current.

i use a site called TurboVote run by a nonprofit that sends me reminders based on where im registered to vote before every election. it sends me an email to remind me to check my registration, to apply for absentee ballots, etc. it’s helpful so that you can check if you’ve been purged regularly (and participate in the local races that never get any publicity); https://turbovote.org/

Please register and check with your town/city hall often to make sure you are still registered. Please vote.

THIS IS A REMINDER

You have about two months to make sure you’re registered to vote by mail in the US.

this is so upsetting, PLEASE rb to spread awareness

PLEASE, PLEASE REBLOG THIS, WHETHER YOURE JEWISH OR NOT.

THIS IS A SUPER IMPORTANT PART OF OUR HISTORY, DONT LET IT GET DESTROYED.

MotivationalOpossumGlitter.png

MIND

this obliterated every single negative aspect of my entire life wow

this is so pure and stupid lmaooo

#when u can see the single brain cell being shared

anyways, never forget this part of the “look what you made me do” music video

how to not going insane during this quarantine

so, as probably all of you know (if not you’re literally living under a rock), the coronavirus is a pandemic. meaning it is global. i live here in the states and so many things have been either cancelled or shut down. i won’t be going to school, as of now, until april 6th when we get back from spring break. however, we will have edays (e-learning!) throughout the week. with all this time i’m going to have on my hands (and you too) i’m going to go insane. however, i’ve decided to compile a list of things that *hopefully* won’t make me go too insane because i’ll be home 24/7. i hope these will help you :)

1. get up. for the past two days, i’ve done literally nothing. i’ve laid in bed reading and watching too many youtube videos to count on my phone. i felt like a potato and it wasn’t great. i didn’t get dressed and it was just rough. today, i feel much better because i actually got up and got dressed. even though i’m homebound, i still put on some clothes (that aren’t my pajamas) and even put my contacts in and put makeup on. i feel so much better and feel like i can actually do something productive with my day and all the time i have on my hands now

2. clean your room. my room was a mess because i just didn’t get up. clean your room and your space. it helps to clear your mind and then you can get to doing what you really need to do. plus, it’s another checkbox you can cross off because you did something!

3. make a to-do list. start a running to-do list of everything, yes everything, you need or should to do in the next week or two (or three gosh). it’ll be hella long but once you have everything written down, i promise you’ll feel much better. it might look overwhelming at first but then start separating those tasks into what you should/want to do today!

4. start a routine. don’t let your daily routine go haywire because you’re in this quarantine. i know it’s tempting to go to bed at like midnight every night and sleep in but try to form a new routine or get back into your old one. it’ll make life so much better and easier

5. get some sleep!!! this is a perfect opportunity to catch up on your sleep. if you do end up sleeping in, don’t sweat it too much, it’s what your body needs. 

6. set deadlines for yourself. if you know that you can put something off for a while, you most likely will. however, try to set a couple deadlines for yourself so you’re on track and won’t have to rush to do everything at the last minute. if you don’t make your personal deadline, it’s not the end of the world, but try to get it done nonetheless

7. for the love of god, please don’t spend your entire day on social media. this put me in such a crappy mood. don’t do it. it’s not good for your mental health. i also found that i started to get a headache. 

8. pick up a book! go reread your favorite childhood book, pick up a new one you’ve been dying to read, or anything else!!

9. start a game. i started back up again the hogwarts mystery game (yes i’m lame but it’s fun ok) and it’s just something for me to do. it’s a little break in the day! but don’t get sucked into it! use it as a break or a reward.

10. try to eat healthily. orrrrrrrrr raid the back of your pantry to see what goodies you have! try to eat more balanced! you have all this time so you may as well try! or you can try and see what mixes you have such as cake, muffins, or pancakes. my dad and i found a crepe mix this morning so you KNOW we had crepes for breakfast.

i’m going to stop there! if there are more you want to see, don’t hesitate to reach out because i’m sure i could come up with some more! also, my asks are open if any of you want to chat!! i’ll try to be more active on here since i’ll have more time :)

xo- gg

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, now in quarantine

I want to highlight that little bit about Spielberg. I read Drew Barrymore’s auto biography - Little Girl Lost - and she talks about Spielberg a lot. He treated the kids on ET with sensitivity and respect, even joining them in a water fight once. She said that she was shocked when she made Firestarter and the director pulled stuff like not telling her and another child actor about a fake explosion so their screams would be real. Spielberg was careful about not overworking them and stopping if they seemed tired (especially Barrymore since she was only five at the time), but on the set of Firestarter she was perpetually exhausted . She also noticed while Spielberg looked her in the eye and really talked to her, the director of Firestarter completely ignored her and never made eye contact. She mentioned to another actress “I loved making ET, but I hate this.” The other actress told Barrymore “Doing a Spielberg movie ruins you for all other directors.” Spielberg became like surrogate father to Barrymore, and she spent a lot of time at his house with his family growing up. She said it was the only place she felt like she could be a kid. The set of ET was the only Hollywood experience where she was treated like a child and not a commodity.

What I’m saying is, the crap pulled by the directors above is clearly unnecessary to make a fantastic movie.

And if you missed the part about Spielberg, it was in the bit about Denzel Washington getting whipped, and here it is:

It’s almost as if treating people with respect is a better way to make art than treating them like objects, especially when you already have systemic power over them, by gender, race, age, etc.