I am aware most of you are from the US and you have no idea what is happening in Europe or where Poland is. I don’t care. I’m living there and I want this place to be happy and safe for me and my friends.
No, we don’t have war - but we have a right-wing government that supports fascist and neo-nazi movements, that destroys the administration, education, everything they can destroy - and that chose to make queer people The Enemy.
I am queer. Most of my friends are. We want to be safe in our own country, to have rights to be ourselves, to feel safe. We fight, we protest, we make Pride events, we have some supports from several local-level politicians. This is not enough.
Yesterday there was the first Pride march in the city of Białystok, in the east of the country. I wasn’t there - several of my friends from all the country were. I was reading their reports live and it was horrible. They expected this - the right-wing organizations had announced they will do everything to stop the march. My friends and many other people went despite that. They were spat on, called out, things were thrown at them, some of them were beaten (my friends came out of this unharmed, but many other people didn’t have this privilege). The police did a fairly good job protecting the march, but this was not enough.
I want to have hope. I want a country where the people I care for are safe. Sometimes it’s hard to hope though. I have the privilege of having support from my family, of being a cis woman, who might be bi/pan but has pretty good passing, of being able-bodied and neurotypical, of having enough money to not to worry for my survival. I never experienced violence myself. I am lucky and privileged and I’m aware of this. Most of my queer friends don’t have what I have. Many of them are trans. Many of them live in same-gender relationships. Many of them are disabled, depressed, experienced poverty. For them, it is much, much harder. I am aware, a day might come I will have problems too: because I’m not interested in traditional marriage and having children because right now I consider a relationship with a woman, transgender or non-binary person much better option - for my happiness - than a relationship with a cis man.
I want to hope. I have it. I see many positive changes, people fighting. At first marches in Kraków, my city, there were stones flying too. This year there were 10000 people marching and just about a dozen of right-wing protesters. Most people seeing us were smiling, waving at us, dancing to our music.
There were people like this in Białystok yesterday too - this is hope. There is hope in the fact that the “LGBT free zone” stickers announced by a right-wing newspaper are already reported to the court. There is hope in support of local politicians. There is hope in fact, that when the most important Polish sf&f convention, that takes place in Białystok this year, announced solidarity with the Pride, most of the people supported this decision (only about 5% of reactions were negative). There is hope in fact, that so many people went, despite they knew it won’t be good. It was not - but they were brave and I admire them for this.
I have hope. It’s hard sometimes. Our government doesn’t help, quite the contrary. Global politics doesn’t help either. I want to believe that despite all the hardships, in the end, there will be better. That we are gaining more and more social support. That we will overcome and survive and in the end we will build a safe country.
I want my friends to have hope, to have courage. Mostly, I want them to be happy and safe.