[ 1:35 AM ]
pairing: song eunseok x mentioned reader
warnings: angst, dwelling on past relationships, not cheating but definitely thoughts of others during relationship with new partner
eunseok can’t forget the mornings you spent together, limbs entangled underneath his sheets, your body warmth bringing him comfort well into the mid afternoon after he’d insist you stay laying next to him, refusing to let you go.
his heart breaks when he can’t say those three simple words back to his current partner, he knows it breaks theirs too.
you’ll always be the only one in his heart, no matter how long it’s been since you parted ways, even when he’s moved on just like now he can’t forget you.
he can’t forget your bright smile after he presents you with the beautifully hand picked flower bunch he has hidden behind his back, and he’ll never forget your perfect laugh after he’s told another one of his silly jokes or the way you tug at your hair when you’re anxious.
that same laugh he’d kill to hear again, the same smile he dreams about well into the late night as he lays empty next to his new partner.
and he knows it’s not fair to them, he knows he’s hurting them but he can’t bring himself to care when he remembers the memories you once shared, the feelings you emitted from him, or the love you permitted him to give you all those years you were together.
he hears your name as he walks by your favorite coffee shop, and sees you in the stars when he’s on a walk late at night, granted the reason he can’t sleep is because you run through his mind and take over his dreams often keeping him up.
he feels terrible when he compares anyone new to you, and he wishes he could stop it, he wishes he didn’t love you so damn much but he does and he can’t escape it any longer, he needs to see you, needs to know you miss him the way he misses you.
eunseok knows you’re still in the same place he walked out of almost a year ago, he knows you still go to the same cafe you’d showed him while dating and he for sure knows you still sit to gaze at the stars in your small hideout behind his old apartment building. he knows all this because he does it all the same too, never once changing anything drastic just in case you’d think to come back to him.
it’s laughable how desperate he is to see you again, to hold you in his arms or to hear your voice.
he dwells on what if’s, torturing himself with millions of thoughts on how he could have handled that night differently. how he knows he could have just shut up and he’d probably still have you in his arms right now just like he longs for.
coco’s <3 note: tehehehe hey guys 😋 hope you liked this one! and don’t hate me too much for eunseok angst 🫰🏽 ty @odxrilove & @invuwrld for proofreading this originally and telling me it wasn’t bad 🫶🏽 I hope everyone likes it seriously!! I’ve never done timestamps so I’m a little nervous hehe but here it is!! as always, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated <3
