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Klezmer Dolphins

@racheltheclumsy

NOTE: I’M NEVER ON HERE ANYMORE. IF YOU ARE DESPERATE TO CONTACT ME YOU CAN FIND ME ON MY INSTAGRAM, IT IS THE SAME AS MY URL.
Rachel/22/ Sexuality: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ /Female/Jewish/Yiddishist/Old Timey Sick Bitch™️/Will not fight you, will avoid conflict at all costs.
Finnrey, Scarlet Vision, Steggy, Tadahoney, Harlivy. Also posts about DC, Harry Potter, Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, and others.
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Thor Ragnarok Post Credit Scene [Deleted]

[lights up on the empty field overlooking the sea in which Odín passed and Hela arrived. We close up on the remains of Mjolnir glimmering in the light of the setting sun. The sound of a van pulling up and idling for a second before turning off can be heard. Car doors open and voices chatter.]

Jane: (from offscreen) My device is showing the highest concentration of the foreign energy right…over there!

[a pair of petite shoes, obviously Janes, enter the frame right next to the remains]

Darcy: (from offscreen) Jane?

Jane: Oh my- What is…

[her hand enters the frame to touch Mjolnir. Right as her fingers make contact the remains begin to glow, vibrate and levitate. We pan out behind Jane, still being denied the sight of her face, as the remains levitate and continue to glow.]

Darcy: Jane!

[Darcy rushes into the frame as the sky grows dark, but stops short. It begins to thunder and the wind picks up. Jane’s hair (which she has highlighted blonde) blows around her. Jane begins to back away but still holds out her dominant hand in a gesture of defense. The pieces begin to reform but not before the handle places itself in Jane’s palm. We begin to pan around Jane, now beginning to be able to see her face. She holds the now re-formed Mjolnir and lightning arcs between the clouds and the hammer, which once again bears the seal of Odín. ]

Odín: (godly whispers which overlap.) Whosover holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.

[we now finally focus in on Jane’s face. Her emotions read slight fear, but in the black of her dilated pupils we see forks of white lightning. Screen goes black.]

/Jane Foster will return as The Mighty Thor/

I haven’t even been on tumblr for fucking ages. But I’m here to tell all of you that i posted this in 2017 I was fucking right.

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HELLO ITS TIME TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID

Do you ever see something or have an interaction that makes you very very angry, and rightfully so?

Do you then go to look at things to hopefully get said thing that made you angry off your mind so you can hopefully get some gotdam rest and then end up seeing something that makes you EVEN MORE angry (and rightfully so) so instead you have TWO big things making you angry?

Do you do this very late at night like a fucking moron so you just lay in bed awake and angry with absolutely no solutions?

Do you do this while you are out of town and sleeping on an air mattress so you’re already incredibly uncomfortable and to make matters worse there is NO MARAJUANA TO BE HAD so no getting nasty things off your mind and feeling calm, no sir.

UHG.

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alexandrao

As I am spending April @campnanowrimo editing my story, Whispers in the Lake before I write a new chapter, I wanted to share all of the art I have made / received for this story over the last few years.

1st photo: Aesthetic made by @wildflowerweasley

2nd photo: Graphic made by @mrsren

3rd photo: Original aesthetic made be me (@alexandrao)

4th photo: Mermaid drawing of Hermione by @racheltheclumsy 

I was actually just thinking that this is due a redraw!!

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Yeah I’m not on here anymore. But I have smokesd some marijuanas this night....and I am here for the meeeemessss.... give em to me

I have no recollection of posting this.

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Yeah I’m not on here anymore. But I have smokesd some marijuanas this night....and I am here for the meeeemessss.... give em to me

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I know I barely ever come on here anymore but I just need to scream into the void.

It’s really aggrvating and upsetting to be chronically ill right now because doctors offices are usually a haven for me. They mean that I am going to get answers or help. Right now I am dealing with a lot of mysterious symptoms and I can’t get help for them and they are painful and aggravating and unusual and idk what to do. Especially because like three of my specialty docs have been recruited to help out with covid shit and they don’t have time to help me. I’m at a total loss.

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rattlegore

i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers

i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i

This man needs to move to Florida.

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So tumblr has been pissing me off and I haven’t been on in weeks so I figured I’d just post something to let whoever cares know that I’m alive I just don’t wanna be on tumblr lol.

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haltraveler

Opportunity was supposed to run for 90 days, but it ran for 15 years. Is this… is this the origin of Robot Hanukkah?

If it wasn’t before, you can bet your ass it is now. Thank you so much for tagging me in this.

Happy Robonukkah everybody!

Okay, so is this another weeklong thing? What will the traditional foods and observances be?

Iron-rich foods to represent the metal in Oppy’s body. Challah, a symbol of the working class (at least it was in my dad’s Jewish community growing up, IDK about the rest of the world) is had with each meal.

You light a pillar candle to represent the fire used in constructing Opportunity and thank God for the fire of creation, for creating the sun which gives light and warmth to the universe and thus allows life to flourish, and the light and all that represents. It’s a pillar candle because those are absurdly long lasting, as was Oppy.

At the annual Robonukkah family dinner you and your family talk about times you thought you couldn’t go on but did, in spite of how hard it was, and meditate on what got you through that, how to better support each other, etc.

In remembrance of Oppy’s death just before Valentine’s Day, a day of chocolate, the children are given gelt that was put in the fridge (representing the cold vacuum of space) during Hanukkah Proper ™.

But the truest observance is the intra-community argument about whether it’s Robonukkah or Robanukkah.

Holy shit, I was half-joking but this is so beautiful I’m genuinely tearing up and I will be very upset if we don’t make this a thing.

90, the original number of days Oppy was supposed to live, divided by 15, the number of years Oppy did, is 6.

Robonukkah is therefore six days long, which is a holy number also representing how God rested at the end of six days of work, thus showing the connection between the divine and creation is not as far apart as one might think.

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Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

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6qubed

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

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Posting something from my real life for those who aren’t interested. In order is Barbie: Nutcracker, Barbie: Swan Lake and Barbie Rapunzel. Let me know if you think I should do more of this kind of thing. 😘

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Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Arepo built a temple in his field, a humble thing, some stones stacked up to make a cairn, and two days later a god moved in.

“Hope you’re a harvest god,” Arepo said, and set up an altar and burnt two stalks of wheat. “It’d be nice, you know.” He looked down at the ash smeared on the stone, the rocks all laid askew, and coughed and scratched his head. “I know it’s not much,” he said, his straw hat in his hands. “But - I’ll do what I can. It’d be nice to think there’s a god looking after me.”

The next day he left a pair of figs, the day after that he spent ten minutes of his morning seated by the temple in prayer. On the third day, the god spoke up.

“You should go to a temple in the city,” the god said. Its voice was like the rustling of the wheat, like the squeaks of fieldmice running through the grass. “A real temple. A good one. Get some real gods to bless you. I’m no one much myself, but I might be able to put in a good word?” It plucked a leaf from a tree and sighed. “I mean, not to be rude. I like this temple. It’s cozy enough. The worship’s been nice. But you can’t honestly believe that any of this is going to bring you anything.”

“This is more than I was expecting when I built it,” Arepo said, laying down his scythe and lowering himself to the ground. “Tell me, what sort of god are you anyway?”

“I’m of the fallen leaves,” it said. “The worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth. I’m a god of a dozen different nothings, scraps that lead to rot, momentary glimpses. A change in the air, and then it’s gone.”

The god heaved another sigh. “There’s no point in worship in that, not like War, or the Harvest, or the Storm. Save your prayers for the things beyond your control, good farmer. You’re so tiny in the world. So vulnerable. Best to pray to a greater thing than me.”

Arepo plucked a stalk of wheat and flattened it between his teeth. “I like this sort of worship fine,” he said. “So if you don’t mind, I think I’ll continue.”

“Do what you will,” said the god, and withdrew deeper into the stones. “But don’t say I never warned you otherwise.”

Arepo would say a prayer before the morning’s work, and he and the god contemplated the trees in silence. Days passed like that, and weeks, and then the Storm rolled in, black and bold and blustering. It flooded Arepo’s fields, shook the tiles from his roof, smote his olive tree and set it to cinder. The next day, Arepo and his sons walked among the wheat, salvaging what they could. The little temple had been strewn across the field, and so when the work was done for the day, Arepo gathered the stones and pieced them back together.

“Useless work,” the god whispered, but came creeping back inside the temple regardless. “There wasn’t a thing I could do to spare you this.”

“We’ll be fine,” Arepo said. “The storm’s blown over. We’ll rebuild. Don’t have much of an offering for today,” he said, and laid down some ruined wheat, “but I think I’ll shore up this thing’s foundations tomorrow, how about that?” 

The god rattled around in the temple and sighed.

A year passed, and then another. The temple had layered walls of stones, a roof of woven twigs. Arepo’s neighbors chuckled as they passed it. Some of their children left fruit and flowers. And then the Harvest failed, the gods withdrew their bounty. In Arepo’s field the wheat sprouted thin and brittle. People wailed and tore their robes, slaughtered lambs and spilled their blood, looked upon the ground with haunted eyes and went to bed hungry. Arepo came and sat by the temple, the flowers wilted now, the fruit shriveled nubs, Arepo’s ribs showing through his chest, his hands still shaking, and murmured out a prayer. 

“There is nothing here for you,” said the god, hudding in the dark. “There is nothing I can do. There is nothing to be done.” It shivered, and spat out its words. “What is this temple but another burden to you?”

“We -” Arepo said, and his voice wavered. “So it’s a lean year,” he said. “We’ve gone through this before, we’ll get through this again. So we’re hungry,” he said. “We’ve still got each other, don’t we? And a lot of people prayed to other gods, but it didn’t protect them from this. No,” he said, and shook his head, and laid down some shriveled weeds on the altar. “No, I think I like our arrangement fine.”

“There will come worse,” said the god, from the hollows of the stone. “And there will be nothing I can do to save you.”

The years passed. Arepo rested a wrinkled hand upon the temple of stone and some days spent an hour there, lost in contemplation with the god.

And one fateful day, from across the wine-dark seas, came War.

Arepo came stumbling to his temple now, his hand pressed against his gut, anointing the holy site with his blood. Behind him, his wheat fields burned, and the bones burned black in them. He came crawling on his knees to a temple of hewed stone, and the god rushed out to meet him.

“I could not save them,” said the god, its voice a low wail. “I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so so sorry.” The leaves fell burning from the trees, a soft slow rain of ash. “I have done nothing! All these years, and I have done nothing for you!”

“Shush,” Arepo said, tasting his own blood, his vision blurring. He propped himself up against the temple, forehead pressed against the stone in prayer. “Tell me,” he mumbled. “Tell me again. What sort of god are you?”

“I -” said the god, and reached out, cradling Arepo’s head, and closed its eyes and spoke.

“I’m of the fallen leaves,” it said, and conjured up the image of them. “The worms that churn beneath the earth. The boundary of forest and of field. The first hint of frost before the first snow falls. The skin of an apple as it yields beneath your teeth.” Arepo’s lips parted in a smile.

“I am the god of a dozen different nothings,” it said. “The petals in bloom that lead to rot, the momentary glimpses. A change in the air -” Its voice broke, and it wept. “Before it’s gone.”

“Beautiful,” Arepo said, his blood staining the stones, seeping into the earth. “All of them. They were all so beautiful.”

And as the fields burned and the smoke blotted out the sun, as men were trodden in the press and bloody War raged on, as the heavens let loose their wrath upon the earth, Arepo the sower lay down in his humble temple, his head sheltered by the stones, and returned home to his god.

Sora found the temple with the bones within it, the roof falling in upon them.

“Oh, poor god,” she said, “With no-one to bury your last priest.” Then she paused, because she was from far away. “Or is this how the dead are honored here?” The god roused from its contemplation.

“His name was Arepo,” it said, “He was a sower.”

Sora startled, a little, because she had never before heard the voice of a god. “How can I honor him?” She asked.

“Bury him,” the god said, “Beneath my altar.”

“All right,” Sora said, and went to fetch her shovel.

“Wait,” the god said when she got back and began collecting the bones from among the broken twigs and fallen leaves. She laid them out on a roll of undyed wool, the only cloth she had. “Wait,” the god said, “I cannot do anything for you. I am not a god of anything useful.”

Sora sat back on her heels and looked at the altar to listen to the god.

“When the Storm came and destroyed his wheat, I could not save it,” the god said, “When the Harvest failed and he was hungry, I could not feed him. When War came,” the god’s voice faltered. “When War came, I could not protect him. He came bleeding from the battle to die in my arms.” Sora looked down again at the bones.

“I think you are the god of something very useful,” she said.

“What?” the god asked.

Sora carefully lifted the skull onto the cloth. “You are the god of Arepo.”

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stu-pot

Generations passed. The village recovered from its tragedies—homes rebuilt, gardens re-planted, wounds healed. The old man who once lived on the hill and spoke to stone and rubble had long since been forgotten, but the temple stood in his name. Most believed it to be empty, as the god who resided there long ago had fallen silent. Yet, any who passed the decaying shrine felt an ache in their hearts, as though mourning for a lost friend. The cold that seeped from the temple entrance laid their spirits low, and warded off any potential visitors, save for the rare and especially oblivious children who would leave tiny clusters of pink and white flowers that they picked from the surrounding meadow.

The god sat in his peaceful home, staring out at the distant road, to pedestrians, workhorses, and carriages, raining leaves that swirled around bustling feet. How long had it been? The world had progressed without him, for he knew there was no help to be given. The world must be a cruel place, that even the useful gods have abandoned, if farms can flood, harvests can run barren, and homes can burn, he thought.

He had come to understand that humans are senseless creatures, who would pray to a god that cannot grant wishes or bless upon them good fortune. Who would maintain a temple and bring offerings with nothing in return. Who would share their company and meditate with such a fruitless deity. Who would bury a stranger without the hope for profit. What bizarre, futile kindness they had wasted on him. What wonderful, foolish, virtuous, hopeless creatures, humans were.

So he painted the sunset with yellow leaves, enticed the worms to dance in their soil, flourished the boundary between forest and field with blossoms and berries, christened the air with a biting cold before winter came, ripened the apples with crisp, red freckles to break under sinking teeth, and a dozen other nothings, in memory of the man who once praised the god’s work on his dying breath.

“Hello, God of Every Humble Beauty in the World,” called a familiar voice.

The squinting corners of the god’s eyes wept down onto curled lips. “Arepo,” he whispered, for his voice was hoarse from its hundred-year mutism.

“I am the god of devotion, of small kindnesses, of unbreakable bonds. I am the god of selfless, unconditional love, of everlasting friendships, and trust,” Arepo avowed, soothing the other with every word.

“That’s wonderful, Arepo,” he responded between tears, “I’m so happy for you—such a powerful figure will certainly need a grand temple. Will you leave to the city to gather more worshippers? You’ll be adored by all.”

“No,” Arepo smiled.

“Farther than that, to the capitol, then? Thank you for visiting here before your departure.”

“No, I will not go there, either,” Arepo shook his head and chuckled.

“Farther still? What ambitious goals, you must have. There is no doubt in my mind that you will succeed, though,” the elder god continued.

“Actually,” interrupted Arepo, “I’d like to stay here, if you’ll have me.”

The other god was struck speechless. “…. Why would you want to live here?”

“I am the god of unbreakable bonds and everlasting friendships. And you are the god of Arepo.”

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