I still am

Challengers Throuple – "I Don't Wanna Talk, I Just Wanna Dance"

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Patrick when Tashi is mean to him: oh she wants to fuck me real bad

Patrick when Art is mean to him: what if I killed myself.

like dude. jesus christ.

CHALLENGERS (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

art real as hell. he said i don't wanna be left out so im gonna break up my best friends because im in love with the two of them, then im gonna get in a failmarriage with one and ignore the other and ruin everyone's lives. this won't blow up in my face down the line later at all

on the second watch of challengers and noticing when tashi asked if there was anything between the boys and patrick got quiet and waited for art to respond first so he knew what to say (or what not to say). like he looked like a dejected puppy waiting for art’s response and when he actually did respond, it clearly hurt him.

There is a sort of constant battle between the two of them to the degree that they are fighting, but they are taking care of one another. When the sugar goes on the cheek of Patrick, Art takes it off with his hand in a very nice gesture of kindness -- and very intimate, I would say. But at the same time, they are really tense. And I think it’s about being jealous of one another, but at the same time wanting one another.

Challengers (2024) dir. Luca Guadagnino

i think we are all forgetting something when we talk about how toxic patrick, tashi, and art are — or when we decide one is “worse” than the other. they all have moments of seeing right through it, seeing each other’s toxic behavior for what it is, and STILL want and need each other in this possessive, envious, visceral way.

1. in the way beginning, tashi is clearly flirting more with art than patrick, and patrick is visibly annoyed. art sees right through it and even challenges him like “okay, let’s leave”, and has this little smirk on his face because he knows patrick won’t give up on tashi.

2. tashi immediately sees the visible tension and love between art and patrick, and literally orchestrates their first kiss. she sees right through their repression, and even calls herself a “home-wrecker” but still entangles herself with them, especially patrick because he’s clearly the better tennis player at that point and that is tash’s ONLY true love. tennis. that’s what she desires most in him, and patrick knows that. he even calls her out on it in the dorm room scene. but they have this mirroring fire in each other that neither of them can give up, not until patrick breaks the balance and bails — tashi’s injury is literally a metaphor for the balance shattering between all three of them when patrick leaves her.

3. before this, patrick sees right through art trying to break them up, and even admires that quality — maybe even feels smug and flattered because art is jealous and feels left out from both tashi and patrick. patrick has known this all along, we saw it in the “tick-serve” scene, where he even swears to tashi he won’t tell anyone but he still tells art, who is desperate to feel a part of them and patrick wants that, too — even keeps that close intimacy with art that we see in the churro scene (swoon swoon swoon).

4. haven’t you noticed that arts desire to be great is only ever tied up in patrick and tashi? how he needs to beat patrick to win tashis affection, how he needs to win in tennis so that tashi can live through him, how he lives up to his potential in the ending only because tashi and patrick push him to it, in their little fucked up ways? he knows this — he even admits that he’s playing for tashi, that he knows she’s living through him. he even admits he’s playing a fucked up little game with patrick when they’re in the sauna. yet he still does it. again, he knows what’s happening, sees right through them — still does it, still loves them.

5. when tashi calls patrick to come pick her up he knows it’s not just to tell him to throw the match — and despite how she battles him about it, they still have sex in the car, because he already knows. he’s so fully aware of her and her game and he’s so willing to be caught up in it, the same as art.

just some examples of how they all have moments of clarity and agency and yet they still choose to be entangled in one another because they’re all fucked up in their own, individual ways, and they’re all living through each other for their own specific needs. arts is to be seen as worthy, as great, but only through their gaze. tashis is to have the career that was stolen from her. patricks is truly to be in love and in lust with both of them, because we even see that from the beginning that tashis love alone will never satiate him; it has to be arts love, too. that scene in the sauna when he thinks he’s lost it from art is the most sad and fucked up we ever even see patrick. on top of tashi asking him to throw the game — he’s so defensive of arts feelings.

in short this is an actual love triangle (and i would go as far as to see it as a polyship). you can’t erase one without the whole thing unraveling, and you can’t say one character was the “worst” without picking apart the motivations and pointing to the fact that their bad behavior was never a secret or left unchecked.

even at the end, patrick signals to art that he slept with tashi — art knows and they still have that intimate completion at the end, all three of them. art living up to his potential and embracing patrick fully (id argue this could even be a metaphor for embracing his bisexuality), patrick having both tashi and arts affection again, and tashi playing a phenomenal tennis match through her little white boys — in such a visceral, emotional way that she cries out like she did in the beginning and the last frame is her smiling.

in a fucked up way, they all get what they wanted out of each other.

happy valentines

Blizzard

Swordplay

taking the crumbs of venetian agna qel’a chewing biting gnashing on them until there aren’t even bones left and then spitting out. carnevale northern water tribe style

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its uh titts out monday (i think) In case you don't know, there is this really entertaining and spicy fic @ranilla-bean wrote named Nip It in the Bud.

zuko sure wasn't subtle and sokka an absolute gentleman.

Kaul Hilo doodles (this is the closest to what I imagine he looks like,, someday I'll actually draw him properly but the more I love the characters= the harder it is to draw them)

not that i don't wanna chop his dick off sometimes