Mumblyings

Ultra-Short Versions of Classic Books For Lazy People

Anything written by Giovanni Verga: Everyone is miserable.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

It took twenty minutes to lull Rosie back into a sound sleep.  She was drowsy from the medicine, which helped, but she was clearly still feeling the effects of the fever, and the first couple of times John tried to lay her back down she woke back up with a miserable cry.  Honestly, John thought as he held her close and walked her around the room, she might as well be Sherlock’s daughter if her appalling timing was anything to go by.

He was torn between feeling grateful and regretful at her interruption.  He had still been able to feel Sherlock’s warmth clinging to him as he’d climbed the stairs to get her, but it had dissipated more and more every second like steam rising from the surface of a pond on a cold day, lovely and impossible to hold on to.  But maybe it was better this way; maybe they needed a few moments to cool off, to map out this new territory before they lost themselves in it.

He sighed and pressed his lips to Rosie’s head, hushing her with soothing words.  She turned her head into his shoulder, sniffling, and let her eyes close, one fist clutching at the worn collar of his t-shirt.  Music drifted up through the floorboards, the delicate notes of Sherlock’s violin wending their way through the flat.  

John smiled; he recognized the tune.  He didn’t know the name of it, but it was what Sherlock always played when Rosie couldn’t sleep.  He’d been meaning to ask if it was one of Sherlock’s own compositions because it resembled a lullaby, but it wasn’t one John had ever heard before.  The thought alone made John ache to return downstairs and finish what they’d started.

Rosie’s breathing slowly evened out, deep and steady, as Sherlock’s music drifted around them, and John gently lowered her back down into her crib; she sighed and curled up around her blanket but didn’t wake.  John held onto the edge of the crib and watched her a moment longer, strangely nervous all of a sudden.  Which was ridiculous, he thought, since he knew that the only thing awaiting him downstairs was what he’d always wanted.

But perhaps that was just it.  He and Sherlock had never been able to get to this place before; there had always been something standing between them, death and marriage and chaos keeping them apart.  And now that he was here, now that this new life was his to take…he was afraid he wouldn’t know how to keep it.

He shut his eyes, breathing in and out, attempting to calm the rapid beating of his heart.  When he was sure he wasn’t going to lose it, he pushed away from Rosie’s crib and took the stairs with slow, even steps.

Keep reading

Loving cat

(via)

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out – we don’t serve your type.”

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

A long and cerebral joke for ya, made me giggle lots though 😂⭐️

Wonderful!!

It’s over! it’s done! Quick recap: so basically I uploaded the blu-ray rips of the whole series to Google Drive (36 episodes and 5 movies) so everyone can enjoy them and marvel at the beauty of the cream-colored suit in HD. For now the episodes don’t have any subtitles, none of the subs available out there are synced for the blu-ray rips, so if someone wants to contribute with that please let me know! and that’s all there’s to know about it for now. I really hope you have a nice time watching it whether is the first time you watch the series or the 1000th time :) here are the links:

@robealafrancaise @itsnotchancemrholmesitschess @blogoftangents @acdhw @cynassa @luscious-theomorphic @nine-twentyfive @jazziesb @n-oy-a  @jobooksncoffee

Thank you so much for this amazing gift!! <3

There is a special place in heaven for you! Thank you!!!

This list is epic! Thank you, Steph! (This is Kael; just on my sideblog). Reblogging to save all these wonderful recs. 🐝

You’re welcome!! I’m glad these will help you Halloween up your Week! <3

Clothesline Farm Animals Graze the Countryside in Playful Illusions by Helga Stentzel

Unique illusions by Helga Stentzel

My new favorite

FRIDAY IS HERE

Enjoy the weekend.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay kind. Wear a mask. Be rad. <3

- - - - 

Photo by Mali Maeder

Goodbye 2020

#pascalcampion

Ultra-Short Versions of Classic Books For Lazy People

Anything written by Giovanni Verga: Everyone is miserable.

reminder that “OP” stands for “original poster”, meaning the person who started a thread

i keep complaining about Kids These Days™ using it to refer to whoever they happen to be replying to but my old-man-yells-at-cloud routine has not resulted in meaningful change

Also confusing is when they’re replying to someone else’s Tumblr ask. Do they mean the original poster who answered the question, or do they mean the asker?

These are all very good examples of John’s dedication

This list is epic! Thank you, Steph! (This is Kael; just on my sideblog). Reblogging to save all these wonderful recs. 🐝

You’re welcome!! I’m glad these will help you Halloween up your Week! <3

this is very important to say and we should say it more often.

This high school drumline’s incredible performance included only drumstick

Daughter of MLK, Reverend Doctor Bernice King, and Coretta Scott King posted this advice as the next 5 months are going to get “real”.

1. Don't use his name; EVER (45 will do)

2. Remember this is a regime and he's not acting alone;

3. Do not argue with those who support him--it doesn't work;

4. Focus on his POLICIES, not his orange-ness and his mental state;

5. Keep your message positive; they want the country to be angry and fearful because this is the soil from which their darkest policies will grow;

6. No more helpless/hopeless talk;

7. Support artists and the arts;

8. Be careful not to spread fake news. Check it;

9. Take care of yourselves; And

10. Resist!

When you post or talk about him, don't assign his actions to him, assign them to "The Republican Administration," or "The Republicans." This will have several effects: the Republican legislators will either have to take responsibility for their association with him or stand up for what some of them don't like; he will not get the focus of attention he craves.

Perfect.

Will do.