BOYFRIENDS - HARRY STYLES

why are people even questioning obesity in america

why is your tea liquidised?

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[skeletons ooh-ing]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

#INTO THE HARBOR

Englad doesn’t own anything

except that time we owned most of the world

If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

And this is why I love Tumblr

Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

I only see this on pinterest omg….

Ok, Brit here (sorry about us).

But also… in what situation would you need a gallon of tea and 40 chicky chicky nug nugs at the same time? Is the tea to be drunk in one go? With the nugs? Who can drink a gallon of tea? Why are there nugs involved? Is this like a party amount to be shared between 10 people? Because the quantities don’t add up. 4 nugs and a cup of tea each? Don’t you need fries with that? You would be very quenched but still hungry? Who has a nugs and tea party? What are you facing that you need that much caffeine? Conversely, is this a one person banquet? Is this a month’s supply of ice tea with a week’s supply of nugs? Who put these two things together and why? I need to know.

I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”

He is Brian’s no-so-mini me. God even his voice is Brian.

Um. Help.

My heart is melting

Brian and... Brian???? Lawd help my soul!

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now - let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like -

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

no matter how many times I see this, it ALWAYS makes me laugh

They give me these horrible things… Lovely colours, as well. Lovely colours. Lovely kitsch colours. Real height of bad taste.

Roger and his very nasty letter to "Rolling Stone" magazine

  — I can’t stand that magazine (…) One time Rolling Stone tried to write a political piece on us. I think the guy was deaf or his battery had run out. But it was very creepy. They have this very superior pseudo-intellectual approach to everything. They don’t approach anything with their senses. They were very nasty, and I wrote them a very nasty letter back, which they did print. —

He wrote the letter on an airline sickness bag

“fucking proud of its music (not all).”

also can we talk about how well written this was???

when an intellectual wants to roast you

One does not insult Queen and get away with it. Roger Taylor will deliver your tail end on a silver platter

Steve Rogers || what’s in your head

“The perfect video doesn’t exi-” Credits to Voordeel on YouTube for creating this amazing and perfectly timed video you can follow @voordeel-ts the original creator of this video and check out their other awesome videos as well

The part with Loki has me dead?

NEW// Infinity War TV Spot.

What’s your favorite part??

(I love when Tony tells Peter Parker he’s an Avenger now😄)

I want to know what kind of face the owner made to get that response

i was talking to my sister on the phone the other day and she has a tendency to talk for several hundred years so eventually i got hungry and grabbed a rice cake and started to Munch and she goes “what’s that” and i said “i’m eating a rice cake” and she’s like “oh gross you like those?”

and without thinking i said, “they satisfy my urge to eat packing peanuts” and what followed was seven full seconds of silence

like oh okay go ahead and pretend you’ve never wanted to eat a packing peanut you pretentious fool

But like…. how??

Hot Damn