I’ll Never Be Enough PT 5
Authors Note: They finally found (y/n) so now what is going to happen? Will she escape them again? Will Sam find out why she ran? Will the boys kill the witch? Sorry it takes me forever to update just moved last weekend so hopefully ill have a little more time now.
Warnings: Probably language not sure if there’s going to be anything else…oh right this is a bit long too sorry guys JK sorry not sorry...
There she was laying in the car passed on my lap. I still couldn't believe it was her, it was really (y/n). I didn't think we’d find her, especially on this hunt. If it wasn't for Cas we might not of even noticed she was there.. She was so beautiful but clubs and drinking was never (y/n’s) thing. And she was barley wearing clothing, big black wings and feathers practically in my face it was very distracting. But i wasn't about to look away from her in fear this was just an illusion.
Cas’s POV: (y/n) was dressed very different from how i had always seen her, something about her seemed different ; off i could sense it.
Dean’s POV: Trafic was fucking ridiculous, how the hell do people drive around here. I had to get to the other side of this damn city. The sooner we got back to the motel the sooner we can make sure (y/n) is ok. We’ve been practically crawling down the road for about 20 minutes. “Damn it’s about time, I'm so ready to get out of here.” Finally we made it to the motel pulling into the parking lot i parked in front of the room, parked the car and helped open the door for Sam. He carried her limp body into the room laying her on his bed.
“Is she going to be ok?” “Yeah i think she’s fine just really fucking drunk. I’ve never even seen her drink before.” “That’s because she always said she hated drinking. What are we going to do when she wakes up?” Sam asked his eyes held a very worried scared expression. “Don't worry Sam she's not getting away again. No way, not with all three of us.” He sat next to her on the bed sitting her up enough to take her stupid wings off throwing them on the floor; he laid her back down covering her up. Cas was sitting on the couch i was sitting on my bed. We sat in silence for about 10 minutes then Cas spoke up.
“Dean, Sam there’s something off..Somethings off with (y/n). I can sense it; something dark I'm not sure what it is though.” “Dude she’s drunk, there’s nothing wrong with her. She just ran away we’ll figure it out after her hangover.” With that he nodded i looked over at Sam who nodded looking at her, although he looked very deep in thought. Eventually we all crashed no sign of (y/n) waking up anytime soon. Sam stayed right next to her the whole time his arms wrapped around her waist, not wanting to risk her getting away. He had it bad when she left it killed him but he never gave up. She had it just as bad for him that’s why I'm so confused on what happened and why she left. The real reason why she left….
(Y/N’S) POV: (I was running, running as fast as i could. Trying harder then ever to escape Abbadon was going to kill me. I didn't want to die i didn't want her to hurt the boys though i had to find a way to kill her first. I kept running till i hit a dead end i was trapped in a dark alley with no one around to help me and there she was this was it i was going to die…) I was shaken from my nightmare waking up, gasping trying to breath feeling tears falling from my eyes the pillow my head was laying on was soaked from tears. Trying to figure out where i was panic rising was i kidnapped?
Was Abbadon here to kill me, she’s early i still had 6 months. Someone had there arms tightly around my waist i couldn't move. “Shhh (y/n) it’s ok your ok calm down. Your safe no ones going to hurt you. Hey listen to me it’s me.” Trying to register who was talking in the dark room next to me. “Sam?” i said rolling over to face him, my heart going 1000mph. Oh my god it’s Sam, oh no it’s Sam oh shit. “Hey (y/n) what’s wrong? It’s me I'm right here.” I felt his biceps flex around me holding me tight but not too tight. “What happened, where am i? How did you find me?” I wanted so bad to just snuggle my face into his chest to feel and hear his heartbeat. To breath in his scent, to hold onto him and never let go but i knew i couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't. i was too scared to look at him i had my eyes closed just listening to the beautiful sound of his soothing voice.
His voice which i’d longed for for months. Enjoying the warmth radiating off his muscular body next to mine. I could feel him staring at me though so i kept my eyes closed. His grip around me loosened as he freed on arm, i felt the back of his hand caress over my cheek then his thumb wiped away some of the tears flowing from my eyes silently. “Your at our motel room with me Cas and Dean..You were drunk and passed out, Dean got to you just in time. We were working a case on a witch, Cas seen you. We had no idea where you were we’ve been looking for you since you left. Cas tried to locate you but he couldn't”
Sam sounded a little choked up it was silent for a minute before he spoke again i could tell he was really upset now. “He said he thought you were dead..” He said it so quietly you could barley hear him when he said it. I opened my eyes feeling the heartbreak all over again when i looked into his hazel eyes tears brimming them. “Sam..” Then Dean rolled over turning the bedside table lamp on sitting up rubbing his face to wake up fully. I groaned at the sight of the light giving me a nasty headache almost instantly.
“Oh my head, really Dean? Turn it off it’s killing my head.” “Sorry Sweetheart, not until you explain everything.” He looked over at me giving me a slightly sympathetic grin. I just scowled back at him. “I’m not explaining anything until someone gets me aspirin or something. pleeeeeeease.” I whined slightly irritated. Sam let me go when i moved the blankets to get up groaning as i walked to the bathroom. Oh moving was a very bad idea, i felt like i was going to be sick. “Fuck” i said a little too loud. “(y/n), what’s wrong?” Cas said i must have woke him up. Right then i made it to the toilet just in time barfing my guts out, this is embarrassing.
I stopped barfing for a minute groaning in pain. Flushing the toilet Sam walked up to the door which was still open. “i’m sorry..i couldn't get to the door in time.” Sam looked at me with concern starting to step closer. “Sam no please stay out. I don't want you to see me like this.” Then i barfed again body hunched over the toilet one hand against it the other holding my hair away from my face. I felt Sam’s large warm hand rub soothing circles in my back as he knelt over behind me. “Sam you don't need to see this; it’s gross.” He didn't say anything he just sat down beside me continuing to rub circles on my back. I’m pretty sure there was absolutely nothing left to throw up once i was done my whole body was shaking. I tried to get up but i felt weak, Sam stood up grabbing my hands to pull me up i didn't look at him though i was too embarrassed. looking in the mirror my makeup was a bit messed up i cringed looking at myself.
“You can take a shower if you want.” “That sounds like a good idea except i don't have any clothes.” I said looking at down at what i was wearing. Feeling a little foolish over last night and my choices i’d been making lately. If i would have stayed in last night i wouldn't be here. They’d all be safer… “You can barrow a shirt i’ll be right back.” As soon as he walked away i shrugged off my satin silky robe turning the water on. “Here” Sam said handing me one of his shirts which would be plenty oversized and long on me and some pain killers for my head. His eyes looking me over, watching his adams apple move and jaw clench his hand ran through his hair before he started to walk away. “Sam” i started to say he turned around “hmm?” “Thank you” He just nodded closing the door behind him.
After i was all washed up and dressed i knew this was going to be the thing i dreaded. How was i going to escape? What would i even tell them? The truth i don't even know..Looking myself over once before i opened the door, here goes nothing. There they all were sitting around in silence watching as i walked out of the bathroom. Dean smiled standing up as i walked closer and gave me a hug. “I missed you so much, don't ever run away like that again. Do you hear me?” He held me close for what seemed like a few minutes i wanted to cry right then and there i knew they all missed me. I was in love with Sam, and he had said he was in love with me too. Cas was like an older brother and very good close friend, and as far as Dean went he was my best friend and pretty sure i was like the sister he never wanted too.
Pulling away i seen Cas with a worried look on his face, they must have been talking while i was in the shower. “Hey you” i said walking over to him plopping on the couch next to him laying my head on his shoulder closing my eyes. “Hello (y/n), are you alright you seem to have gotten sick. Maybe you should lay down.” “Uh i would but i don't think they are going to let me anytime soon..but yeah i’m feeling better now thanks to Sam.” i smiled a little at that seeing him looking at me. “But you know what i would like right now Cas?” “Um i-i’m not sure what is it? A blanket?” “No silly goose i’d love a hug right now..from you common.” “Oh alright i think i can do that.” i giggled at his silly response turning to face him my smile got a little bigger, he turned and wrapped his arms around me and i wrapped mine around him pulling him even closer.
He’s always been a little awkward over human contact like hugs and stuff it’s actually quite adorable. We both let go my eyes looking right over to Sam. I wasn't sure what to say now that i was feeling better and not half asleep. Things between him and i they were all kinds of messed up right now. I opened my moth to say something but then stopped myself looking down not wanting to make eye contact at the moment. I knew they were all watching me, all on edge probably waiting for me to make a run for it. That’s when Dean spoke up “Listen (y/n) we need to talk. We need to know what happened why’d you go? What aren't you good enough for sweetheart?”
I kept my gaze to the floor feeling theres on me still. I didn't even know what to say. What do i tell them? That I'm Abbadon’s kid, that i practically volunteered myself as a sacrifice to keep them alive at least a little longer them she’d like. That i was trying to help them get more time a better chance to kill her. Tell them the reason i’ll never be enough is because i was a monster though i didn't know how i seemed so human, that there had to be something else since i was the daughter of pure evil. Or did i make up some crappy lame excuses and lies that they would probably see right through anyways. They all knew how to read me pretty damn well.
Ok lying is not the best move maybe i could tell them the truth or at least most of it and find a way to escape. I don't need to tell them i only have about 6 months left and then I'm going to be killed. They'd never let me out of there sight if i told them that, and telling them would be just terrible i can't even imagine there reactions. “Hello (Y/N) hey snap out of it did you here what we said?” “Uh..” “Right that’s what i thought. Cas asked why couldn't he locate you?” “oh i had a witch do a spell to block angels from locating me after i left.” “Ok and what about Dean’s first question?” Sam asked. I took a short glaze towards him and then back to the floor, i could feel the tears coming and i didn't think i could hold them back at least not for long. “Well we’re waiting.” Dean said. I took a deep breath in and out a couple of times closing my eyes knowing the tears were about to spill.
“I’m not good enough; because i’m” i tried to keep my cool trying so god damn hard not to start sobbing feeling the hot salty tears running down my face, feeling my bottom lip quivering i spoke again quickly as i could. “I’m not good enough because i’m Abbadon’s daughter. And i left because i was told if i wanted to keep you guys safe i had to…i-i’m going to be a sacrifice in order for her to take over hell. I didn't have much of a choice you guys know i love you and i’d do any and everything i could to keep you guys safe.” Shit i said too much what the hell do i do now i felt panic rising within me i opened my eyes my vision blurry hard to decipher there facial expressions. “Excuse me what?” Dean said standing up pacing, i wiped my tears that were in my eyes. He looked like a mixture of being really pissed off and really hurt and concerned i could see tears in his eyes.
I looked over at Sam and my heart felt like it was going to stop he looked so hurt, and upset. Like me not telling him and me doing all of this wasn't my choice but i knew god damn well that it was. I loved him i can't let anyone hurt any of them especially not Sam…I looked back to the floor Cas was sat frozen trying to comprehend everything. “I said Dean basically I'm her kid and I'm a sacrifice…” “Like hell you are! You don't get to decide who gets killed and who doesn't. This makes no fucking sense, no fucking sense at all (Y/n) were you even thinking at all when you ran away.” “OF COURSE I DID DEAN THAT’S ALL I FUCKING DID! THAT’S ALL I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT SINCE A FEW WEEKS BEFORE I EVEN LEFT. YOU GUYS ARE MY FAMILY, I LOVE YOU GUYS. SO BASICALLY I CANT DECIDE TO GET KILLED FOR THE GREATER GOOD BUT YOU CAN. HMM, YEAH I DONT THINK SO YOUR NOT THE ONE IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE I AM.” i yelled at him i was pissed and i was balling. “How long?” Sam asked. “6 months, i have 6 months left but only if i leave..”
