what I REALLY don’t like is this post was made in 2017

oh learning this wasnt made like, yesterday, made me jump out of my SKIN.

Who is @professional-dog-hugger really

I’m just a dumbass who unfortunately could have never predicted this hellish timeline. I am not the OP, but this website, in all it’s dysfunctional glory, made me appear to be since the actual OP appears to have deactivated. Sorry on behalf of the staff for the mix up I guess

OP was assassinated for being too powerful and you were left as the scapegoat im so sorry.

I can’t believed tumblr force-kinned me into an unholy prophet, doomed to pay for the crimes of another

literally the most terrifying vibes I’ve seen on any post ever

trying to find references and only getting weight loss tips can you all GO TO HELL

"how to get rid of fupa" "how to lose underarm fat" how to get rid of sunshine and birdsong. how to lose joy and puppies and flowers. do you realize how stupid you sound.

Oohhhh gensaku day *passing out*

what companies who sell you anti aging stuff don't want you to know is that if you're chill about aging, your perception of attractiveness changes as you get older. there is no "wall" where you suddenly become ugly and unfuckable because in my experience what actually happens is you get into your thirties and suddenly realize that people in their thirties are hot as fuck and the "flaws" that the beauty industry wants you to panic about are a feature not a bug, and based on the std statistics in nursing homes I don't really expect that trajectory to change.

men realizing someone liked them 10 years too late at 4am

my favorite thing about the mystery genre is that we all accept the concept of "world famous detective" without hesitation even though that is absolutely not a real category of celebrity

What I find incredible is that Hbomb really isn't a detective. Like, I mean nothing against him, but he's basically just following the research bunny. It's just that he chooses to research things that everyone else takes at face value and keeps stumbling on elaborate webs of lies.

You mean like how a world famous detective would?

My little sister's new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend's name that she hasn't gotten covered up yet

She broke up with him but I also just got the same tattoo

OK my dad also got it

DYLAN!

It took five months but we finally convinced my stepmom to also get it

My fucking manager got it

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too. 

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

This is something everyone should see. Thank you for sharing this.

Transformers kept me alive. When the 2007 movie was announced I was going through an incredibly hard time emotionally. I saw the preview and every time I thought about killing myself I thought, “but then I won’t get to see this thing I’ve always wanted to see, good or not.” And it got me through.

I’m in a place where I live for myself now, but don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own.

don’t toss away a life preserver just because other people think you should be able to swim on your own

My friend’s little brother (non-verbal) used to hide people’s shoes if he liked the person, because it meant they had to stay longer. The more difficult it was to find your shoes, the more he liked you.

One day my cousin came over, and she was a bitch. When it was time to leave, my friend’s brother handed her shoes directly to her and she went on and on about how he must have a crush on her because he only “helped” her.

MASSIVE NEWS FOR LINGUISTS: the sphinx of black quartz has just befriended the quick brown fox and the lazy dog.

HELL YEA

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

Why is tumblr dead on the weekends omg stop going to the club, get your ass out here and BLOG

This is so delightful

Man: (exploding with glee)

Snek: (BEFUDDLED)

@bonnettbee i thought you would enjoy his glee for an snake

You are SO CORRECT

what do y'all know about doomed siblings

‘‘In times of stress, it’s the best to think of funny things. Can’t you think of any? Let me.’’

i miss him (fictional character that i can rewatch or reread at any time i want)