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if a hamburger and a cheeseburger have a baby it most likely will have cheese on it because the cheese trait come from a dominant gene

they inventeed a new science called "dont let the balloon hit the floor" scientests are being vaery careful and bapping that thing before it can fall jumping over the couch and shit

[ID: A Tumblr reply from user hexoskeleton that reads "dramatic oversimplification of the field... each scientist can only hit it once and hold it isn't allowed. and sometimes the floor is even lava. so the problem is a lot more complex than most laypeople might think". /end ID.]

do you ever sit there in your bed with your head in your hands and it's like you can just imagine 9 swords behind you

This earth holds no respect for destiel and those who have fought on behalf of destiel but that's ok. My reward awaits me in the kingdom of heaven

sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken

you all know there's other posts on here to reblog right

everybody else deactivate your account these two need the room for a second

y'all are tagging posts like recipe website commenters

gas stations are like land lighthouses

haven’t seen the pitbull tweet yet. very disappointed in you all

have to do everything around here

I’m just living sweet treat to sweet treat I have no other hopes or goals in life

Oh nice they've got chicken noodle

[ID: a digital painting of a hermit crab wearing a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup as a shell. The background is white. end ID.]

you're 25 with a wife and kids and house and bachelors degree, i'm 25 searching "the joker scary image" on pinterest

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged

NASA advertising "do you want to be an astronaut" to tumblr users surely means something. What have you found out there, NASA? What have you found that you believe tumblr users, specifically, are best equipped to handle?

they want us to fuck the aliens

RB for a bigger sample size please!

the right hairstyle for your face is the one that makes you smile when you see yourself in the mirror btw.

this applies to clothing as well!!! being happy and comfortable with yourself is ALWAYS more important than adhering to some stupid made up rules about body types. shave your head. wear the crop top.

SAY THAT