being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

i love this website

reblog to sauté the horrors

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

NEVERMIND MY GRANDMA JUST SAID SKILL ISSUE

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

A handy guide for your Jewellers and Gem Cutters.

I accept payment in trillion-cut black diamonds.

Chop chop.

Useful!

my step mom was asking me more questions about the nonbinary thing and after talking to me for a bit, she said "oh, so youre a rosé! not a chardonnay transitioning to a merlot, just your own unique type" which was such a middle aged white woman way to frame it, but i cannot lie gang. it did make me want to cry

This is the funniest thing on the internets today, don't you hide it in the tags

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

epic... rap battles of history..... puppy .......................versus..................... kitty......................... BEGIN!!!!

everyone go home this is the only good addon to this post

Whenever I see an Ivan Aivazovski painting the sea monster in me goes absolutely feral

I see this and I've never wanted to sink a ship so much in my life I'm biting through wood as we speak

God if I saw this in person I'd straight up start slithering. Start writhing

The way he just *clenches fist* makes water light up from the inside. Ugh, I once zoned out in front of one of his larger paintings in a gallery and came to, like, twenty minutes later, smelling saltwater and tasting driftwood.

This is his largest painting ever. It is 2,8×4,2 meters large. That is about 9'3"×14'1". It took him ten days to paint. This is a guy who painted normal-sized paintings in an hour, two, tops, according to contemporaries.

He was utterly unique.

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

I love seeing dogs and wolves in movies because they’re acting so vicious but also their tails are wagging so hard unless the post-processing guys specifically edited out the tails (which is slightly less obvious but also hilarious in a different way once you spot it).

This is why I love the dog in the original casting of The Thing so damn much. I have never seen an acting dog move with such a deliberate, calm intent. It was like every single motion and gesture this animal made was intentional.

Apparently, according to the behind-the-scenes documentation, this dog was just fuckin like that. Almost never, if at all, looked at the camera crews and production teams. Never excitedly wagged his tail on set no matter how much of a good boy he was being. If he did, it was the same… deliberate motions.

His name was Jed, and even though he’s a dog, he deserves an oscar. He was an exceptionally good boy.

Jed also played the role of White Fang in the 90s Disney film version!

I honestly can’t imagine a better portrayal of a stoic, aloof White Fang, who gradually softens, than Jed.  Good boy.

That dog knows his job, and knows he’s damn good at it, and knows he’s probably better at his job than his coworkers.

That dog was delivering straight up Shakespearean performances, and he probably was saddled with human coworker who had to make use of such unprofessional things as second takes.

My condolences, Jed, my condolences.

last night I had a dream that I met Bill and Ted, and I complimented Bills crop top and said something about how I would wear crop tops if my body was less bogus and he put a hand on my shoulder and said “what’s truly bogus is the way you think about yourself” and Ted nodded solemnly and then I woke up

Friendly reminder that you should

The only thing that matters is you having fun! Not what others think!