we seriously need to talk about emotional abuse.
it’s literally everywhere, ingrained in western culture and swept under the rug 80% of the time. and its not just men manipulating their partners in cishet relationships. the lgbt community is full of it too, and a lot of people pretend that we’re above it all because being oppressed in one sense somehow makes us different and therefore incapable of oppressing others. I’m sick of it.
this website acts like women are above abuse, especially gay women. it’s not true. stop making women out to be these flowery perfect creatures who can do no wrong - positivity is great, of course, but don’t act like wlw can’t do bad things or be bad people too. i’ve had enough of suffering in silence. i was in a deeply emotionally manipulative relationship for a year with a biologically female nb person that i loved. they lied and used me, and called me toxic and psychotic when i got upset and tried to argue with them. they ignored me for months on end with no explanation, called me a bitch and told me to go and fuck myself when i tried to help them - their excuse every time was their poor mental health. now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they were mentally ill in some way. however, the way they treated me was not a result of their illness. my own issues were ignored in favour of theirs, both by them and me. i tried to always be there for them, i put my needs aside for them and every time they pushed me away, insulted me or told me i wasn’t trying hard enough and i needed to “save them”. meanwhile, my own bipolar disorder was getting worse and worse, until i couldn’t get out of bed for months on end. bear in mind that i was fifteen; twelve or thirteen when i met them first. i missed so much school that people were surprised to see me in class. i isolated myself further and further, and due to extreme disassociation, to this day i still don’t know if that was my decision or because of their influence. but i left them eventually, with support from a close friend, and I’ve been away from them for some time now, but they’ve got their claws into someone else now, and i don’t know how to help. how can i help, when I’m still in pieces? i just don’t want it to happen to anyone else, and i don’t know how i can stop it happening. all i know is that my time with my abuser has ruined my life, and i can’t have that happen to anyone else. i was just a child, and it feels like i’ve died already. please, we need to make people aware of emotional abuse. it’s real, it’s out there, it ruins lives, and it can happen to anyone.
