That’s hot tho

I CCAN'T BREATHE

It’s all inevitable and all his fault

when i say “that reminds me” & theres zero connection you just have to take my word for it theres no time to explain

Omg Suzy you’re so crazy

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i went nonverbal, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

Adaine abernant

its that time of year

Sorry but your sexual fantasy has a plot hole in it. Orgasm denied.

asked a lady yesterday if she wants her latte iced or hot & she said “no temperature please.” ma’am what the fuck does that mean x

pacific rim was really like "our giant monster-killing robots are powered by the tender, intimate, powerful connection of soulmates - romantic, platonic, or familial" and i've never recovered from how the sheer brilliance of that concept made me feel

like i'm sorry but these enormous metal robots so vast and powerful that they run on nuclear reactor cores welded into their chests can only be moved and controlled by the power of love??? how does that not drive you utterly insane just thinking about it???

boot up, Bitch

That reply is unexpectedly inspirational.

It's so wild how many grown adults can't grasp such a basic concept like "if you are nicer to strangers they will usually be nicer to you in return"

I work a job where I interact with the public. If my customers are nice and pleasant I will bend over backwards for them. If my customers are unpleasant I will do the absolute minimum as required to not get in trouble. I'll never not do my job, but by god I can and will do the bare minimum.

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual.

bro

Honestly though, I unironically think teenagers need to get into more trouble. I don't want to sound like I'm coming out in full support of underage drinking/smoking/sex or anything, but I do think the reduction in those things isn't due to increasing levels of responsible decision-making or improved mental health among adolescents. It's due to the kids' social isolation. The kids aren't having normal social activities or the normal dramas associated with them, so they're having completely warped social activities and dramas on the internet.

Log off and go buy a $20 bag of oregano from your friend's cousin's older brother.

Follow @thelorddmemez

It's a unique type of frustration when you agree that a character is deeply flawed but other people keep missing what's actually wrong with them and assigning them new flaws that they don't even have it's like free my man he did none of that. He did a bunch of other shit tho.