happy first Bella From Twilight Depression Month

happy second Bella From Twilight Depression Month

happy last Bella From Twilight Depression Month

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

we slidin

At that point he’s a passenger too

Happy we slidin season to all who observe

Update for those of you not on Twitter: Elon is taking the feedback for the whole “checkmark for $8 a month” well

some tabs have been open on my phone for literally 2 years they r like brothers to me

you are all sick in the head

sorry for getting attached to the white chocolate cheesecake recipe i opened in february 2020. as if its my fault

been seeing a lot of this lately and all i gotta say is what the fuck

also blank template because i put entirely too much effort into blending that fucking gull in nicely for it to be a one-off meme

Ooh! I got one:

yeah reblog this version yall

Did I do it right?

the most important post today (x)

one of the most interesting “environmental storytelling” jokes i’ve seen tumblr able to produce is when someone makes a reblog so bad it becomes the punchline of a joke, and then that person deactivates not long soon after because “welp there’s no point in staying, it’s been a good run lads”

oh god, how could i forget about this example

Do you know how hard it is to live with a cat that has the intelligence level of literally like a 3 year old but the pure chaos of a high ranking demon?

He’s learned to open the lazy Susan and won’t stop clawing open the flour and rolling in it like a little chinchilla

Criminal charges

Hey hey hey HEY

He’s been CRAWLING INTO THE BOTTOM CABINETS to TEAR OPEN THE INSTANT POTATOES and EAT BAGS AND BAGS OF THEM I’m livid but also impressed.

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

He’s not playing with it

He’s eating it.

I can tell because the bags are nearly empty except for a few small clumps.

I knew he loves mashed potatoes. I just didn’t know the extent he’d go to to get them.

We had him tested and in the course of that vet visit he stole

6 tips

3 of the ear light cover things

Our other cats collar

the ear bud of the vets stethoscope 

several hearts

a plastic glove

the vet techs hair tie

Also yeah he’s fine he just likes to steal

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

This is his ledge

His ledge is taller then my husband who is 6’2”

I am 5’5”

I have to get the step ladder out once a week and see what Orange Sherbert has taken to his ledge for safe keeping. It’s usually the remote.

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

i like to pretend i'm an intellectual but in my heart the 3oh!3 taio cruz ke$ha katy perry avril lavigne lmfao nicki minaj cobra starship rihanna cascada britney spears lady gaga era of music reigns supreme. ipod touch with the cracked screen type beat

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

I am obligated to reblog this again, because it is now Superwholock, and therefore perfection.

people need to remember that every tumblr post in 2012 was like this

……….go on

kids are so fucking funny. we made pride flags with the elementary schoolers and a fifth grader added a gray stripe to the progress pride flag and when i asked him what it was for he said “for the emos”

wake up new pride flag just dropped

slut era

this actually reminds me of when i was in second grade and it was snack time but we had been misbehaving so they gave us assigned seats on the rug and i had to sit next to this girl who’s snack was mangoes but i didn’t like her because she bullied me so i told the teacher that i was allergic to mangoes and i couldn’t sit next to her and my teacher was like “oh it doesn’t say anything about any food allergies on this paper right here you might have to update the school nurse on that” so i went to the school nurses office and she called my mom and my mom was like (and i genuinely have no idea why) but my mom was like “yeah sure she’s allergic to mangoes” so then the school had on paper that i was allergic to mangoes so at this point i was like in wayyy to deep so i just pretended to be allergic to mangoes for the next 5 years like i went full throttle into this lie i even came up with a backstory to explain how i found out i was allergic to mangoes it got to the point where even my parents just genuinely believed i was allergic to mangoes until one day when i was 12 i just came clean and explained the story to my parents and they where like “yeah that sounds like something you’d do” but anyway i never got to enjoy my new found mango freedom until about a year later when i was over at my friends house and they had mangoes and i was like “actually i haven’t had a mango in 6 years” and they where like “omg they’re so good you have to try some” so i did and they were sooooo good like i look exactly like the picture above i was gobbleing that shit up like cookie monster it was insane and anyway basically 20 minutes later i broke out in hives.