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Always Inappropriate

@unmistakablyoatmeal / unmistakablyoatmeal.tumblr.com

Find me at sdk on Dreamwidth and AO3 | she/they, 100% queer, 100% dork
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23 dirty/hot/bad/wrong Slash Fics from 23 Years with 23 Pairings! (2001-2023)

This year is pretty rough for me but really excited to make a list I have been planning to make for like years now. Good old fashioned dirty/bad/hot/wrong with a twist. Some of the most complicated fics out there which use sex for exposition and do it really, really brilliantly.

Rec notes

  • No blurbs this time because these fics are really dirty/hot/bad/wrong Experiences. You need to read them to get them. Trust me. They are way beyond my blurb writing skills. Also for the older fics it was hard to find exact dates so I just did my best.
  • These fics are 100% on AO3! Yay!
  • No repeat pairings, no repeat authors.

Rec lists are subjective based on my reading. YMMV. If a fic is not your thing, just be a good fandom citizen. Don't Like Don't Read.

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gendercensus

The 2023 Gender Census is now open!

The 10th annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 9th May 2023.

It’s short and easy, about 5 minutes probably.

After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.

If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 40,000 responses last year.

The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.

Thank you so much!

Image credit: Avery at Tradescantia Hub

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Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

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esoanem

At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!

How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.

the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples 

I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia 

Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?

Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)

This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y'all provide on the regular, I love you)

Female presenting gkpmnipples

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evilkitten3

what the fuck are you people doing, trying to invent neo-french?

No, we’re inventing Gkpmneo-French

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bunjywunjy

so the megalodon is most definitely extinct? how do scientists know?

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well, the thing about large predators is that they leave an impact on an ecosystem big enough that you can tell they’re there, even if you never observe one directly. in this case, we know they’re definitely extinct because of the behavior of whales! whales used to max out at about 50 ft long and were fast and agile, entirely because of predation by megalodon!

but about 2 million years ago, our whales began to rapidly increase in size until we ended up with real monsters like the blue whale. this pretty directly lines up with the extinction of megalodon, and the removal of the pressure they were putting on large whale populations.

basically, large whales can get away with being gigantic, slow tanks in the oceans today because there simply isn’t a predator big enough to take them on anymore. if megalodon still existed, we would be seeing its impact on whale populations! whales would be smaller, and a hell of a lot more skittish than they are.

everything in a given ecosystem is connected, and you can often get important information about the unknown parts by observing the behavior of other parts of the ecosystem.

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bogleech

All this, and the fact that if the ocean had sharks as big as Megalodon and had enough of them to sustain the species at all, we would have found at least one Megalodon tooth washed up on a beach somewhere that wasn’t fossilized. More likely, we would have found hundreds of such teeth every year for as long as we have existed. “We didn’t know giant squid existed!” is a common argument I see from cryptozoologists, but it’s also flat out false. We did know. We knew there were giant squid for centuries because we found remains of them for centuries. We simply hadn’t captured or filmed a live one!

Okay, so I am well aware that this isn’t at all how evolution or natural selection works, but I still want a horror film that begins with a pair of scientists with dramatic music playing in the background as they pour over piles of records, until one of them turns to the other and says “it’s the whales. They’re becoming smaller, and more skittish.”

The other scientist looks out the window, over the sea. “Mother of god,” she whispers.

Alternatively;

We begin to find giant shark teeth washing up on shore. People freak out. “Scientists find evidence megalodons never went extinct!”

Then the lead scientist calms everyone down so they can explain. “No. It’s worse than that. If they never went extinct, we would’ve found evidence like this before now. This means… ” Dramatically takes off glasses. 

“They’ve just come back.”

“But they can’t just suddenly come back like that!”

“You’re right. Someone brought them back.”

PLEASE,,,

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blueflavored

Jesus Christ Super-predator

I’m pretty sure that I was the one driving when we all got into this little circus car but now I’m wedged under the back seat and the clowns have just ramped us off the grandstands and directly onto the popcorn cart

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that picture of the little boy holding a puppy and smiling with the writing on the bottom that says hi daddy this is my doggy chelsea isn't she cute i love you and the picture of the cat with the writing that says our michael... pet photos of all time

these ones

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chaitalinath

What is a writer but someone trying to find their world in this world?

What is a writer

but someone trying to find

their world in this world?

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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trokopotaka

Goncharov is a fake movie that does not exist, but now the line "if we really were in love you wouldn't have missed" will live rent free in my mind until I die.

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