My girlfriend: Treat me like a princess :)

Me, tears in my eyes, hauling the guillotine out of storage: I’m sorry, honey, but for the good of my comrades and country, a monarchy cannot stand

hey guys, huge fan of genuine love and affection

i like tumblr more than twitter because the white people on here have never listened to rap music

i mean they've heard a brockhampton song but that's all and they don't know the words and they haven't built their entire internet persona around it. tumblr white people build their internet personas around whichever piece of fantasy media makes them feel the most marginalized and that's just easier to deal with

Hamilton

that's not rap music

Watsky, Lil Dicky, Wax, Daveed Diggs

do you live in the suburbs?

Yeah, why?

Does Kitchen Sink by Twenty Øne Pilots count as rap?

i can’t do this anymore

I’m learning my third language right now and the more I work on it, the more I’m glad that English is my native tongue because oh my god how does anyone learn the rules of this miserable cobbled-together nonsense that constantly has exceptions to its own rules and then exceptions to the exceptions

How has anyone learned to pronounce //a n y t h i n g// in English

All of you who learned English as a second language deserve an award and our apologies.

thank you that other day i learnt saloon is pronounced as saline and the only way to learn how to pronounce things in english is by being corrected by someone else bc you tried to pronounce a word logically

I hate to break it to you but at least in Ye Olde American English, saloon is sal-loon, saline is say-leen

The cycle of confusion continues

i hope that i can chill out u kno? rlly just calm down

may 2020 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

My unsuspecting followers:

Me, about to go on a serious reblogging spree:

me when a character in a disney/pixar movie turns out to be evil all along even tho they’ve been doing that same twist for the past 10 yrs

my pet: *does anything*

me: