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Fortwursteln

@heartandsoulonpages

Trapped between maybe and maybe not
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within a dark

enclosed space

dank and solitary

i mark time

and experience life

pulsating around me

constantly

bombarding  my world

with impurities

from this vast unknown

with contaminants unrelenting

notwithstanding the carapace

protecting my core

i brace myself

and fortify my home

smothering the intruder

with a constant nacre

of warmth and compassion

until the unwelcomed transforms

to become my beloved

and from within my unattractive form

a precious beauty is miraculously born

m.d.k.// Pinctada via @heartandsoulonpages

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The more words I put down in writing, the lighter I feel. It's as if I am shedding old skin. Skin that has been scarred beyond repair and plagued with disease, they have proven impossible to heal. I have walked around with this burden wrapped around me like an armor - a hidden weapon waiting to be unleashed. I took pride in dragging my past as if it is the only way that can give me substance, give my life any meaning - a badge of honor that can somehow make me unique than everybody else, a magical talisman that can help me ward of any unfortunate event and stay protected from the perils of my unknowns. Over the years though, I have learned that it does not work that way. It even became my personal magnet of despair and misfortune.

And so, here I am, trying my best

to put all my scars on paper with ink,

hoping that someday soon

I will be able to soar and reach my destination

unburdened and finally free.

m.d.k.// Armor of Yesterday’s Misfortune via @heartandsoulonpages

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Have you ever wondered about that road not taken?

Don't.

It is easy enough to fall down into that rabbit hole

There is a reason why that path is now just a memory

A glimpse of the past and of who you once were

A treasured anecdote that elicit a smile in hindsight

The person you once were, people you've met and places you've been

A tale of dreams you once hatched and later have lost

Look around to where you are and what you have

This life you have now did not happen by mere chance

This is where your heart and your mind led you to be

For we are the sum of the million little choices that we made

We are exactly where we want to be

So take that pebble off your shoe and continue the journey

Cherish what you have accomplished, enjoy this life and carry on

m.d.k.// Carry On via @heartandsoulonpages

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let go

breathe

I never thought I'll make it here

but here I am

finally

free of you

and the weight burdening my heart

is thankfully

gone.

I had my doubts

that this can ever happen

but here I am

and I did.

m.d.k.// Finally via @heartandsoulonpages

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Always lost and on my own

Nobody there beside me

Just trying to stay afloat

In this vast solitary journey

No one to hold my hand

Nor smile any encouragements 

Never felt a pat on my shoulder

Nor heard whispers of endearment

I may not be all alone 

But I do always feel lonely

My body constantly stiff and cold

Like someone's out to attack me

It hurts and doesn't feel good

To eternally feel this way

Too tired and misunderstood 

I just want to fade away

m.d.k.// Black Bile via @heartandsoulonpages

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in another life we are simply two strangers walking past each other holding someone else's arms not ever knowing the other existed and how empty this made our world

and in another life we are the happiest of lovers living to make each other smile and enjoying the rest of our forever

however, in this current life we are nothing but two sad strangers carrying a shared memory both hoping to move on and live however lonely without each other

in this life we have known how it is to love

and yet, in the end

we had to endure life without it

m.d.k.// Life and Love via @heartandsoulonpages

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Oh my dearest one how much darkness have you seen? Have you seen the darkness of the human soul? Men sucking each other dry just to fill one's belly? Loved ones unable to convey their feelings end up smiting one another due to misunderstandings? The selfish neglect of ones responsibilities just  to lose oneself in vice? Once honorable men crumble when confronted by temporary monetary gain? The weak-willed become all to eager to succumb to their lust? We humans all pretend to be moral creatures, but in truth, we are just driven by our most base instincts. We are corrupt, malicious beings imperfect, yet always boastful of our superiority among all creatures. The worst of humanity is always capable of unspeakable evils. However, we are not inherently corrupt. We are still redeemable. Our benevolent intentions more than makes up for our actions. But however pure and selfless our actions and intent are, all of us, in the end, must face our judgment.

m.d.k.// Dark and Deadly Sins via @heartandsoulonpages 

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Footsteps echo

in the memory

down the passage

we did not take

towards the door

we never opened

Somehow,

we are always here

at this moment

you and I

Heart trapped

in desperate imaginings

of love's what-if's

What might have been

is an abstraction,

a perpetual possibility

only in a world of speculation

What might have been

and what has been

point to one end

which is always present

only in the realm of the unknown

m.d.k.// Trapped via @heartandsoulonpages

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A journey back in time

From years far gone

You're in a decrepit state

And your age unknown

Warped and faded

Discolored and torn

Dusty and chipped

Overgrown and forlorn

Your beauty left unnoticed

Overlooked and neglected

Until my world slowed down

My life put in perspective

The memories you hold

From my years gone past

The spark you possess

Unlocked another chance

For me to touch, to hold

All at once transporting me

Somewhere dear and personal

With a special meaning to see

Reminding me of a face, a place

A feeling, a particular state of mind

Hoping I was there again present

At that exact moment in time

m.d.k. // Memento via @heartandsoulonpages

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rivers seek

oceans deep

too late to leap

too late to speak

too early to rise

to late to sleep

the end comes around again

when rivers meet

i see you afloat

drifting down tides

tied to a boat

enjoying the ride

you think you sing silence

but i hear your cries

you’re a raven in the sky

i see through your disguise

creeks won’t carry you

stillness is within

there is so much to seek

and nothing to win.

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The years we lost, before and after we found ourselves face to face once again, after two decades The years after we stitched those dreams together and the years before those same dreams suddenly ended; abandoned, not knowing if they will be ever owned again The cracks in between promises made out of the fragile trust between friends, built over words uttered in confidence so many memories ago Cherished once but now hanging worthless amidst poisoned air trying so hard to sound sincere and clever Your eyes betray you along with your trembling hands that couldn't get enough cigarettes to burn one after another as if you're always running out of time I might have known all along yet I still played the fool choosing to hold on to the painting on the wall the idyllic picture I painted of you and I and what we could have been together I was foolish to dangerously ignore the malicious entity that had always been there  lurking just beneath your benevolent pretense always ready to choke me and leave me lifeless when there is nothing more for me to give and nothing left for you to take

m.d.k. // Lost Years via @heartandsoulonpages

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Catch your breath

Take your time

Nothing that serious

Is on the line

Doom is just all

Inside your head

Don’t overthink

Nor jump far ahead

Things will happen

Days always come

Just do your best

Before the day is done

Don’t try to own

Every little blame

Don’t try to carry 

All of the shame

One step at a time

Live for today

One day at a time

Don’t waste time away

Love yourself

Search for that joy

Be here, be present 

You’re alive, enjoy!

m.d.k.// Breathe via @heartandsoulonpages

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Placed in an old library

A book now burned with change

Cover now torn and frayed

We reread our conception

Drenched in boredom

We felt discomfort in ever changing words

We Loosened our grip

As we took it off the shelf

Memories fell as dust reclaimed their home

We Let the distance pull us away

We left love to rot in those pages

I’ll miss the nothingness we created

But we’ll be okay

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