HalcyonTraveler

one might imagine sisyphus learning by playing, winning by learning, and begin by beginning

Pour one out for the timeline in which Brennan isn't available and they put Siobhan through Bingo and Time Loop on the same day

so at 3am last night i had to deal with four cops barging through my room to my house b/c my flatmates ex bf unnecessarily called 111 on her when having a breakdown. i know im probably preaching to the choir here but please NEVERRRR ever ever fucking do that shit, it literally only made things 4x worse and escalated the situation immediately, cops do nothing but respond with impatience and prepare violence in this situation. mfs were there to "back up" two paramedics against a terrified young woman and laughing about it in our kitchen. incredibly glad i was there to help my friend and get the cops out my house as soon as humanly possible b/c i cant imagine what wouldve happened if there wasn't someone else there, and i cant fathom how much worse it was for her. this has nothing to do with the US either i live in aotearoa nz and it is JUST as bad fuck you if you have ever done this idc about your intentions

If you (like me) want 3rd party candidates to be an actual viable option in USA elections so you no longer have to vote for Democrats OR Republicans as your first and only choice, then what we need is Ranked Choice Voting. In order for that to happen, we as voters have to do two things:

Unauthorized 2022 "pop it" style electronic toy where the buttons replace Mario's face. Despite using the Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope branding, the artwork used on the packaging is taken from a variety of older sources.

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Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.

what the fuck somebody edit a health bar over this im at work

oh my god you said heaLth bar..

GIRL

You, aspiring writer! Have you recreationally read a book in the last 5 years?

"I could fix her" "I could make her worse" Well I could take her to build a bear

yall do realize just because something has been a target of misogynistic criticism, that doesn't make stanning it completely uncritically in response some kind of revolutionary feminist praxis. right.

like i hate to break this to you but plenty of people who dislike taylor swift have better reasons for it than 'she's a successful woman'. plenty of people who dislike twilight aren't just jumping on a decade plus-old hate train because 'teenage girls like it'. pure personal taste aside, someone pointing out the racism in your girlboss media of choice is not the same as an incel frothing at the mouth over a woman minding her own business while having fun, and you're frankly telling on yourself if you're equating those two people

i love that brian david gilbert's penchant for strange comedy horror mixed with very important people that well. that episode was so much fun slkdflsdkj also shout out to his gender euphoria over being a cyborg mad scientist

"con artist" is maybe the profession with the biggest gap between How Cool They Are In Media and How Cool They Are In Real Life

fictional con artist: I've gathered you all here because you each have unique skills and specialties that will be required for the Ultimate Heist: psychologically destroying the richest man in the world, and taking his mansions, his yacht, and his wife in the process.

real life con artist: plan A is to scare an old lady who barely speaks English. plan B, is to trick unemployed people into giving us money, which they famously have a lot of, in exchange for broadly-defined Career Services. plan C is we try to make NFTs a thing again

in this house we stan dionysus!

#Hermes: he’s dead Dionysus you don’t actually have to do this #Dionysus [polishing his giant wooden dildo]: I made a PROMISE (x)

This is the also the myth of the creation of the dildo. And in some versions of the myth, Prosymnus’ soul was so overjoyed, that he was transferred to Elysium. That’s right, Dionysus rode Prosymnus’ pseudo-dick so good that he was moved to the Blessed AfterlifeTM

dionysus: can’t believe prosymnus died before I could keep my promise to let him bone me the nymphs: you don’t have to, you know dionysus, oiling up the world’s first dildo: no I’m gonna

Prosymnus’ soul literally ascended

Dionysus: What do you desire as payment brave psychopomp? I will give anything in my power as a god. How about a lyre that plays itself? Or a font of endless wine?

Prosymnus, who has been sweating with barely contained horny for the entire boat ride: 

i do feel sympathy for my parents because they often got called to school for meetings whenever i got a little too macabre. My special interests from second grade on were the Bubonic Plague and Vlad the Impaler so this happened as often as you might imagine,

so anyway my school made us go through Confirmation in seventh grade as 12 year olds, which is whack. It’s the Catholic sacrament wherein you retake the vows your guardians made on your behalf at your baptism. It signifies your transition to adulthood in the eyes of the church and God. So you should be, you know, an adult. All of my other friends did it between ages 16 & 20.

You can’t really commit in a genuine way when you’re 12 and the sacrament is written into your class curriculum as homework.

But I digress.

When you get confirmed, you choose a Catholic saint as your patron and learn everything about them and try to model yourself after their values and faith to follow their example.

You’re supposed to envision the sort of person you want to become in the church and look into saints with relevant patronages.

But I got in trouble because my teacher found me googling specifically which saints were martyred by Rome via “eaten by wild beasts” as my baseline criteria

my dad once told me (with extreme & genuine fondness) he found great comfort in Calvin and Hobbes because Calvin existing as a character meant other parents had children like me.

Y'know, it's starting to make a lot more sense why the Judge doesn't like Phoenix.

First time he met Phoenix, Phoenix was charged with murder, lied on the stand multiple times, wouldn't stop interrupting court proceedings, and ate the fucking evidence.

Yeah, if that guy turned up like three years later going "I'm a lawyer now!" I would never trust the guy.