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✞ starlet ✞

@rotfilm / rotfilm.tumblr.com

artaud's "theatre of cruelty" speaks of a theatre in which horrible truths are exposed to the audience. things we don´t want to see, but which break down the barriers that conceal the truth from our falsely-constructed realities. - kier-la janisse, house of psychotic women: an autobiographical topography of female neurosis in horror and exploitation films
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✞ babydrivng‌ !

compared to his other gigs, ivy’s was the least jarring. she didn’t wave a gun around or obnoxiously question him about his age or purpose for being there. usually, she didn’t even talk to him. she let him do his job in fortunate peace, all within safe and comfortable luxury.
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❝ yeah? ❞ it wasn’t a malicious question, especially since her expression of vulnerability had tapped into a vein of softness. baby strove toward a sense of reassurance, a repayment for her sharing something that deeply personal with him as he echoed her words back to her, ❝ i’m on good medication. ❞
it all came down to who owned his free time; bare fingers flexed on the steering wheel without conscious aim, imagination rendering a tempting image —— that of baby taking a quick ride down a back road. the idea of such a jaunt stemming from the pure thrill of it, not tearing up blacktop in a need to escape being caught by the police, was otherworldly. there was something bittersweet about the remembrance of his last joy ride not ending well. that had been years ago, when he naively thought himself both invincible and untouchable. still, as ill-founded as it might have been to ask, a query ponderously rose.
❝ you like going fast? ❞
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          ❛  Yeah. It’s fun.  

Every great once in a while, Zero will take her out in his Caddy and they’ll speed up Mulholland like the devil’s chasing them, the top down, wind and synths in their ears. She thinks she’s at her happiest in those moments. Sometimes she’ll shut her eyes and imagine that the car has white feathery wings, a neo-Pegasus taking her to the top of the world.

          ❛  It feels like flying

She studies his half-hidden face in the rear view, noting that he ever-so-slightly resembles a marble depiction of Hermes she’d seen once in the Vatican Museums of Rome. The god of roads at the wheel.

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✞ flurdall· !!

@rotfilm liked this for a starter
[txt] hello, darlin’ ivy! I know this may be just a tad weird but! my name is Tallah, a friend of zero and felix’s, and i’d love to meet you!
[txt] i know a very darlin’ coffee shop we could meet at if you are willin’!

[ text ]    oh! yes i’ve heard about you! [ text ]    they’ve shown me pictures. you are so pretty [ text ]    when should we meet! [ text ]    and which coffee shop [ text ]    ?

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✞ babydrivng!!

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his lips parted, and sounding tongue-tied, baby replied, ❝ oh, uh. n-no… ❞ he was caught somewhere between feeling dumb and flustered. ❝ yeah, i mean you have. ❞ admittedly he wasn’t expecting to be called dreamy, or told if he was a figment of her imagination that he wasn’t a bad one. he could tell she was nervous while talking to him but meant it.
his mouth hitched at the corners, in the beginnings of a boyish display.
❝ just not fast, ❞ he belatedly illuminated his point. currently they were sitting tight inside the town car he was driving for her at a light. were he to be on another job, say, rushing a group of violent, trigger-happy criminals from a bank heist, he would have had his foot on the gas and be flooring it through the area. baby loved driving, real driving, the rush and adrenaline that came with being in full control of a vehicle and going at ungodly speeds. with ivy in the back, he used turned signals, made full stops at four-way intersections; he didn’t do anything that could get him into trouble with the cops. he took safety precautions.
❝ do you, uh, normally imagine seeing things? ❞
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         ❛   I don’t know. I think so.   

Delusions were more common than hallucinations, but it wasn’t unheard of. Every great once in a while she would still see something no one else could, whether it be a person or an animal or even just an odd shape in the clouds. Nowadays, she usually knew to keep her mouth shut if she saw something strange — the looks she got were far more upsetting than some looming, grinning beast in the corner of the room.

         ❛   They put me in the hospital for it a few times. I’m on good medications now. It doesn’t happen all that often anymore.   ❜

Eyes turned toward the window, watching the city pavement blur by in constant motion. As they approached a stoplight, the blurring slowed, then ceased entirely, the world coming into focus again — a reassurance of the reality they inhabited.

         ❛   There’s a couple of back roads around here. A friend showed me once. And time isn’t really an issue at the moment. You could show me how you drive fast.   ❜

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it was strange, having someone initiate conversation with baby that wasn’t trying to deliberately goad him into having a negative reaction. he had become so adept at not paying any attention to cheap shots tossed or aggressive maneuvers pulled against him from a young age, that after entering the business he did, his guard remained highly raised. it only made sense as a result of the near decade he spent underneath doc’s thumb, baby had become seasoned in the art of maintaining a poker face. music continued to fill one of his ears, but baby was listening. he blinked behind his sunglasses.
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❝ you say that? ❞ baby spoke like he was giving her room to convey more, glancing sideways. small talk really wasn’t his strong suit. there was a pause; joe’s encouragement filtered inside his head: keep talking.  ❝ you haven’t really seen me drive. ❞ 
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         ❛   Am I imagining this, then?   ❜

He wouldn’t have been her first imaginary friend, though he would probably be the strangest and least effective. Her imaginary friends, after all, existed to ease loneliness, and this was the first time she’d ever heard him speak. Up until this point, there had been a very firm, professional wall up between the two of them; he was working for her, and that was all.

        ❛   This is an odd thing to imagine.   ❜

She twists one of her many rings around her fingers, chewing on her lip until she tastes the faint, bitter tang of iron.

        ❛   Not a bad thing, though.   ❜

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so i don’t fully understand what is going on but it seems bad! so if my blogs end up getting suspended or whatever, my discord, ironically, is SAD PORN STAR#7318

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he didn’t say anything, because nothing prepared him for small talk. nothing readied him for an interaction such as this. outside of the business he dealt with, he didn’t talk to people. and well, he could have technically ignored her. he remained tucked behind the wheel, on another job, even though for once he was being addressed as a person — not the escape route he could provide or a speedy getaway driver who could floor it. an earbud dangling, baby was wondering why ivy was speaking to him at all. she didn’t resemble any of the thugs he was forced to work with, but ivy was a pretty girl apart of a glamorous world separate from his own. the traffic light flashed from yellow to red, and inside the interior of the luxury car he was driving, he stated simply, ❝ i am… ❞
the slow and steady tone of his voice trailed off. ❝ oh. ❞ for awhile they sat in stoic, thoughtful silence. full lips parted, and on his end he admitted,  ❝ uh, i don’t know what that means. ❞ he didn’t speak in the language of flowers. music was more baby’s lingo.
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She pauses, now anxious with the previously - comfortable silence, and opens the browser on her phone, nails tapping against the glass of the screen as she looks up what the significance of stargazer lilies are. She comes up with an overwhelming plethora of information, all different, some contradictory.

         Hm, um… it says here that they symbolize humility and devotion, but also death, but also abundance and prosperity, but also innocence.   ❜ A nervous giggle.

       ❛   What a headache. I bet half of these are made up. If that’s how it is, then I can just make a meaning up, too. I say that it symbolizes being dreamy, and a nice man who is really quiet and drives a car really good and fast. Yes. That.   ❜

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           ‘ Oh darling, you look marvelous. Enough to take the breath from any man, ’ He gawks for a moment before speaking again, ‘ But a dress will not win my charms so easy, love, for you have already stolen my heart away from me. It is no longer in my chest, for it is with you. ’
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          ❛   You talk so romantic.  

Ivy caught a good 85% of that, but the rest of it is lost to the time she spent dreamily watching his mouth move and listening to his voice, noting that it sounds the way tea and cake tastes.

         ❛   I’m going to keep your heart and snuggle with it and kiss it with red lipstick every single night.  

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               ✞ @babydrivng  /  continued from here!!

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It took Ivy a moment to respond purely from the shock of realizing that her driver was not mute as she had previously assumed. The first few times he had driven her, he had been quiet as a mouse, anything she said acknowledged only with little nods or other such visual cues. Drivers were usually quiet, of course, but a little something was usually said here and there, compliments on her dresses or small questions, annoyed curses at other drivers under their breath. Not wanting to be rude, she hadn’t pressed, and usually limited her own speech so as not to trouble him.

            You --- um, you looked so serious.  

An awkward pause. She had to resist the urge to express her surprise at his ability to speak, knowing full well she should say anything but that.

           It’s — it’s a stargazer lily ❜

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