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mikee: unfiltered

@mikhaelabaluyot / mikhaelabaluyot.tumblr.com

alis volat propris
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Everything was vivid. The rapid rise and fall of my chest felt endless as any effort to fill my lungs with air seemed useless. I was shaking uncontrollably until the next thing I knew, I was on the floor. I felt helpless and in pain. I had no control over myself and each thought of the uncertainty of what was to come only made matters worse. My lungs felt useless, as I did. I wanted to live but everything else was begging for the end.

Episodes, M.B (via mikhaelabaluyot)

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"It always comes but never stays.
It escapes me, ever elusive."

- fleeting feelings of love , hiraethofinnocence

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theprocast

Moving on

Broken? Depressed? In pain? Alone? Searching? Crying? Pleading for a way out of the heartbreak? We have all been there.

It’s a particular feeling that none of us have ever wished for or dreamt of and yet, in this life of ours, we still pass it by.

Let me tell you a story:

You, the beautiful, confident, happy you, had been living your life day by day without worries. You’d wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, go to school, come home, do your homework, have dinner, read a book and go to bed. You lived a normal life. But somehow, you felt alone. You felt something was missing, as if there were an emptiness in you that hadn’t been filled.

Then, Love comes around with his dashing smile and says, “Hello beautiful.” You, on the other hand, turn a cold shoulder to this stranger who you feel is nothing but bad news. But then, he kept coming back. He made you feel wanted, happy, beautiful, and loved. Annoying as he may seem, that stranger became someone you missed, a person who you wanted to be with.

Until one day, Love said, “I love you.” He promised to take care of you, to make you happy, to adore you, to understand you and to love you no matter what. There and then you realized, you loved him, too. And so, it was no longer him and you. There became us. There became we. You no longer alone.

Days passed, you and Love were happy. You were better, together. It seemed like there was nothing you couldn’t do or anything you couldn’t face as long as Love was by your side. Because of Love, you felt as if an empty part of you had been filled. You felt complete, for once, because of Love.

But then, after a while, you and Love always fought. Turns out there were a lot of things that you disagreed upon, from music to food and countless other things. You had so many differences and that, for Love, became a problem. You tried to understand Love. You still put up with him because you loved him, even though, eventually, your disagreements turned into silences and cold shoulders. Nevertheless, you held on. You had hope that Love would stay true to the promises he made. You stayed. You put in an effort to try and make Love happy again.

Eventually, Love became his old self. He was sweet. He started smiling again. Everything seemed to be the way it was before. You, finally, thought that everything was okay.

Until one dreaded day, Love said he had enough. He said he didn’t love you anymore. Love said, “Good bye.”

You didn’t quite comprehend why he suddenly decided to leave. For all you know, everything was going well again.

You were clueless. You didn’t realize that Love had fallen out of love with you. You didn’t see that you were no longer the reason he was smiling. You didn’t see that Love didn’t really love you.

And so you ended up broken, depressed, in pain, alone, searching, crying and pleading for a way out of the heartbreak.

Now we’re back to your current situation. Yes, it is hard. It is painful. It is dreadful and at a point, yes, you feel that you would rather not exist.

NEWS FLASH: He is not worth ending your precious life! You have lived fine without him before and so will you now.

Moving on is not easy. It takes time. But it’s not the good bye that actually hurts us. It is the memories and the question of whether or not you weren’t enough for him.

Listen up!

  • You are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You don’t need a man to tell you that.
  • He is not worth crying over. It’s okay to cry at first. Go ahead and vent out that pain. But don’t make it a habit. Don’t ruin your pretty face in tears just because he couldn’t see how wonderful of a person you are. A real man will come and love you despite your differences and your flaws and he will accept you for who you are.
  • Accept the fact that he was not the right guy for you. Don’t waste your time on what if’s. He chose to leave and now you have to chose to move on.
  • Choose to be happy! He already hurt you by leaving. Will you let him ruin everything else that’s good in your life, too, by moping around in sadness? No! Rise up 100 times more beautiful than you were before. Believe me, he’s gonna regret even leaving you in the first place.
  • Don’t look for a new love. There are people who put enter a new relationship after heartbreak to forget the pain. This is such a big, NO! You can and will heal by yourself. Don’t drag someone else into the pain.
  • True love will find it’s way to you. At the right time, the right love will come and find you. Until then, establish yourself. Learn to live life happily by yourself. Enjoy being single! (*Take note: not everyone who’s alone is lonely)
  • Learn to love again. When the time comes, open yourself up. Trust again. Don’t let one bad relationship get in the way of what might possibly be the best one. :)
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“Stop sacrificing your studies and priorities just to be beautiful and trendy. There are more important things than looks.”

Random // hiraethofinnocence

Just a bit fed up with all the kids I see on Facebook who stay in style and always try to be pretty when some of them, who I personally know, are failing in class. It’s okay to fix yourself up. I do too. Just remember there are more important things than looks. Beauty fades. Wisdom is forever.

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“I find solace in the fact that in a few hours, at break of day, the light will chase away the shadows that lurk in the dark of the night; bringing hope to all those who are haunted by nightmares and tears every single night.”

— Hope // hiraethofinnocence (via hiraethofinnocence)

Here I am again.

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