Turquoise in a Red State

the Columbia University arrests are worse than they seem. They're arresting protesting students for trespassing. It goes without saying students cannot meaningfully "trespass" in the common areas of a university they attend. So Columbia University has suspended all student protestors from their institution, in the process revoking their access to housing, their belonging, and most crucially damaging their academic futures. We are witnessing full scale silencing and removal of anyone of conscience from the next generation of academia.

beyond that the columbia common is literally an open space during the day; the gates are open and it's possible to pass through it like you'd pass through a regular block. even after my student ID expired i was still able to walk through the commons bc ID is not requested until you enter an actual building. it's quite common to see parents, toddlers, and such who are clearly not enrolled just hanging out. so not only were the students not trespassing at a SCHOOL THEY PAY FOR, there was also not a precedent for non-students to be disallowed from the grass and walkways.

E.R. Comics, Ryan Pequin

one time my friend had surgery on her hip/knee and we went to visit her in the hospital and she was like “hey guys, check out what i have! it’s this cool button that, when I press it, it gives me more morphine!” and sure enough she had a little tube with one end attached to her IV or whatever and one end with a button on it, and every time she pushed the button it gave her morphine

and she just kept pressing it and pressing it and giggling and getting loopier and loopier, so we went to ask a nurse if that was OK or if she was just going to overdose herself

and the nurse said that the morphine button is on a self timer limit and she had already maxed it out and won’t be able to get more for a few more hours, but she can just press the button as many times as she wants and thanks to her already being on the max dose of morphine she was just placebo effect-ing herself into the fucking stratosphere

it was a great image, my friend over there high as balls like I HAVE UNLIMITED MORPHINE POWER!!!! *press press press press* and the nurse like “nah that button isn’t doing shit but she’s having fun”

This porno didn’t fuck around

there’s… a lot to take in here…

I was so flummoxed by this I had to learn more, so I took to Google, where I found this blog post by Dan Cardone, who was a grip on this film. Some highlights:

All this talk and no one posts a link. God damn it, have to do everything myself around here! Here’s the promo page with previews and a purchase link from the actual Raging Stallions Studios website.

Miss Congeniality (2000) dir. Donald Petrie

this post has more people in my inbox defending working for lockheed martin than you'd expect

he’s gay

and he’s still at it

The thing I keep coming back to, with all the *gestures expansively* is that real life doesn't have peaceful epilogues.

Every single win has to be defended. Forever. I'm sorry. It sucks. The Nazis lost until they stopped losing. The US had abortion rights, and then 50 years later it didn't. Empires fall, and then they invade other countries again. Oppressive regimes are overthrown and replaced with other oppressive regimes. You will never finish the work etc etc etc. Which is why it's so fucking important to be able to acknowledge and celebrate progress, when it happens. The people who came before you didn't put in all that work for nothing, and you aren't, either. You can't save it all for the Ultimate Victory because there is never going to be an Ultimate Victory. There's no such thing as a time when everything is good, and ours shall not be the commune of Heaven.

The auxiliary water pump on my car broke (the plastic rotted and cracked so it was spewing coolant everywhere) and the mechanic wanted me to pay $300 for a $150 part.

I went to an auto store and bought the part for just under $150 and was gonna have the mechanic install it until I called them back and they said they don’t install customer parts.

So I figured if they won’t install customer parts, they’ll at least fix existing problems with the vehicle.

So, naturally I poorly installed the new part myself, then took it to the mechanic saying I had coolant issues and wasn’t sure what the problem was. They fixed the problem in under 20 minutes and only charged me $30 for the labor.

Ho l y

Imma try that last one

I went to my doctor’s office and asked if they had any slots open for that day.  They told me they don’t take walk-ins, you have to call ahead for an appointment.

So I pulled out my phone and called the office.  The other receptionist answered the phone and the first one literally WATCHED ME say “I’d like to make an appointment today if you have any slots available.”

He said to me (on the phone) all they had available was for 9:00, could I make it in time?

I said “Yep, I’m standing right here.”

He didn’t understand what I meant and happily put my appointment down.

I hung up and said to the original receptionist, “Hi, I have an appointment in five minutes.”

She (very angrily) entered me as arrived and gave me my forms.

bureaucracy works hard but humans work harder

and if you’re comfortable put in the tags how old you are

lmaooo

We love to see it

#oh my god#all of them???

Yes! All of them! It's not a defect, it's a design flaw! They made an accelerator pedal that can accidentally wedge itself down flat!

#little miss okey-dokey

"I laugh when I look at this shot - one in a million chance of capturing the precise moment when these birds are locked in eye to eye!

Out in my boat fishing one morning, I noticed that an eagle was being harassed by a blue jay on the shoreline next to my cabin. The blue jay’s relentless attacks were only mildly irritating to the eagle. The big bird’s facial expression was one of pure disdain. Jays are fiercely territorial - the eagle had perched near the jay’s nest and the jay was determined to protect its young.

My boat floated closer and closer to the skirmish and I knew that I might be able to capture a special moment if I just kept shooting. I love the image for so many reasons. The eagle is protecting its most valuable secret weapon - its eyes - by sliding a thin membrane over its eye just as the jay flies by. The jay is executing a ninja move as it makes its escape. And I love the way the image illustrates the sheer contrast in size between the enormity of the eagle’s body and the small silhouette of the blue jay.

I’ll always be thankful that I was in the right spot at the right time."

📸Ken Wiele

Definite banners and possible bumper stickers for the shop

Sometimes Reddit comments are great writing inspiration:

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.