My theory is that Aliens just really like cows 

@oddport-emporium

AAAAAAAAAAA

Drunk science!

Drunk science is good!

“drunk science is great~!”

-muffled yelling from spy saying no it isint-

-mun also yelling it isint-

“DRUNK SCIENCE!!!”

Yes kids, it’s easy.

yeah but just imagine an imp or lesser demon who takes pity on a young girl whose life was totally fucked over by overzealous parents, and who was alone because nobody wanted to befriend her.

imagine the demon seeing her crying alone while he’s possessing, like, a neighbor or something, and shambling up in the stiffly-working meat suit and sitting down and asking her what’s wrong. Imagine the little girl being afraid for a moment because people don’t usually walk like that, or talk to her, or ask her what’s wrong, before she just unleashes and lets the floodgates open. The demon is so stricken with grief for this little girl that once he gets over with his possession, he goes in his true form to her and plays whatever game she wants him to play.

Imagine that she’s finally happy and that the demon must go and so while she’s bidding a tearful farewell, the demon teaches her to summon him.

Imagine a little girl with her best friend, the lesser demon.

Now imagine her summoning him again and again through her life. To hang out. To get advice. Whatever. And one day when she summons him she’s crying. Because something bad happened. She won’t tell him what. She just wants his help to make sure nothing like that can ever happen again. She wants to be strong. He can help her with that so he does. Then she uses that power to become a superhero & he has to explain to higher level demons why she can wield brimstone but hasn’t sold her soul.

i really love tumblr sometimes because y’all make something that’s meant to be shitty and awful and horrible such as a demon and turn it into the most humanizing and empathizing piece of shit in the cutest possible way

And one day when the demon answers her summons expecting to hear about her latest exploits, he finds himself not in her house in front of the fireplace, or even in the woods out the back, but in a cold white hospital room. She’s older now, mid 40s, he’s seen her grow from so small, but she tells him that she’s sick and there’s nothing anyone can do to make it better. That one day she won’t be able to call him anymore. Her lesser demon is distraught, he knew she was mortal but he never expected this. Her clawless fingers have burrowed into his heart and in all his thousands of years of life he has never thought of what it would be like to lose someone, for real. To lose someone forever. She tells him it will be ok, that it will stop hurting after a while, but he knows it’s wrong. Maybe for humans who always live with the knoweldge of their mortality, but not for him. He will never stop grieving her death. He makes her promise to summon him every day from the hospital, and he returns to the planes of hell. He cashes in every single debt he is owed over the past three millenea, ferreting out every favour he can. He makes alliances, promises oaths in blood and barters his precious hoard of souls until finally he returns to her with an offer. If she wants, she can leave her hospital bed, take his hand and follow him to the deepest circle of the underworld where she can be reforged into a demon too. She can live forever there, and find her own lost children on the surface, and he won’t have to lose his closest friend.

If I was that little girl I’d have Doomguy on speed dial

ok I'm crying this is uncalled for

UPDATE: my boss found anime eyes mary and now the set’s complete. jesus is priced higher than mary

goodwill in blue springs, mo

oh mary senpai

no offense but what the fuck is anyone talking about

okay, 

what did fred say

fred says Fuck

Let’s split up gang

LMFAO

Spirited Away (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

HOLY SHIT HE’S REALLY BOOKING IT

i have no explanation

i personally hate all nazis and nazi sympathizers/supporters

i hate you individually and specifically. eat shit.

being in a public restroom and hearing someone shitting really loud

being in a public restroom

being in a public

being

people adding things 2 my posts

your posts

ur blog

u

IM LAUGHING SO HARD. I THREW MY PHONE SO I COULD BREATHE

you thinking that comment was necessary

thinking

wen u zoom in

I love this post

love

It just keeps getting better

overused captions

Tumblr’s new layout

tumblr

the internet

this is the only long ass post i’m ever going to reblog

Long ass posts

Ass

congratulations for making it to the end of this post.

Running Windows 95 on a 3DS is so surreal, from playing solitaire, to attempting to open internet explorer and effectively causing a blue screen of death.

HOW DO U DO THIS

This is a decidedly unfriendly reminder that I don’t want you following me or liking/reblogging my posts if you are a Trump supporter, neo-Confederate, TERF, neo-Nazi, or a supporter of any other sort of white supremacist or fascist movement. Get the fuck out. I don’t want you here.

Yess! Already 25 people unfollowed me. Feels so good to take the garbage out.

I wanna see how far this goes I have faith in Tumblr

How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore

and a scotsman dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot

oh, hello there new follower! very nice to meet you

??? okay that’s weird, and they followed one after the other. maybe the same person has two viking blogs? but why would a viking blog be following m–

w h a t

OKAY WHAT THE HECK I WAS WONDERING WHY THIS SIMPLE ASK GOT SO MANY NOTES AND THEN

THERE ARE MORE

W H Y  A R E  T H E R E  M O R E

Are these the new porn bots? Viking Bots?

GIMMIE THE VIKING BOTS

reblog in 15 seconds or you will never be followed by a blessed viking bot

eevee is evolving!

@randomeevee

Postive words, from postive YouTubers

@juunkrat @tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land @clefabuleuse @fem-medic @sessomesmaru @tavish-red-demoman @redspook @redsnipsnop @ask-pocket-pyro

Reblog this. Please.

seriously