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Botany Shitposting

@botanyshitposts / botanyshitposts.tumblr.com

🌱 Quill 🌱 he/him 🌱 hi plants are my life and i like shitposting. they say to follow ur dreams so here i am, a combination of everything i love 🌱 Iowa corn hell pride 🌱 https://youtu.be/cjV7Fbz4yq8

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welcome to BSP! i’m quill, i love plant science, we are all here to have a good time.

BEFORE SENDING AN ASK:

-i do not do plant identifications. this is because plant ID down to the species can be pretty tricky and takes time, and its best to have the plant in front of you while you do it, not to mention that i’m only well-versed in iowa plants (my home state). if you’re in the USA, it’s likely your local/state DNR or USDA office will have a key to local plants up on their website. i’m in the process of compiling a resource list for plant ID state-by-state in the US and US territories, I’ll get that up as soon as i can

-plant care stuff is similar, mostly because even though i know a lot about plants on a scientific level, im TERRIBLE at taking care of actual plants. i’m actually best versed in commercial greenhouse care and diseases/plant pathology on a wider scale. at some point i’ll try to get a basic resource list for better plant care stuff up, too

-i don’t check my dms unless you send me an ask specifically pointing it out; i do, however, read every ask i get, although i get enough that i can’t respond to all of them!!

-because i started this blog in high school, some of the older posts on here can be inaccurate or poorly worded; typically my newer posts are better sourced and executed and stuff imo.

THE BEST POSTS ON THIS BLOG (under construction as i remember more i really like):

- β€œCan u tell me about mossβ€œ (moss crash course post)

- ”Whats a lichen if not a plantβ€œ and (similar topic) β€œWhat exactly IS a lichen?? Pls im just an artist who only knows that plants are pretty” (closest current post to a lichen crash course)

plants love being polyploid its one of their favorite things to be

you give animals an extra set of dna and they crumble into a little cartoon pile of ash. you give plants an extra set of dna and they say ahh finally an extra set of dna to do activities with

Anonymous asked:

I bought a 30 year old car and drove it cross-country back home. The other day I was taking some of it apart to work on it, and all manner of seeds and other flora that are not indigenous to my region came tumbling out. There was Spanish moss so old it turned to dust when I touched it. This plant matter traveled 3 decades and 2,000 miles to be here with me. How about that huh

this is also modern megafauna dispersal. seeds will be like oh man im so ready to fall off, i have so much food and water saved, if only a very strong and fast creature beyond my comprehension would carry me 2000 miles to a soil patch that looks like this one but different. nothing has changed

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I'm gonna nerd out a bit here, but I work at an herbarium mounting plants. You won't believe the frequency when around 40 years after the plant is collected with seeds it decides to explode over my work desk. Like bro could of done it when you were alive or during your 35 years in a box. But, ya know, 3rd best time is when I'm gluing you down, in a room with no dirt in sight. Sure. The grasses are super notorious for it.

Following with that megafauna dispersal, here is a paper about refrigerated shipping containers and how they can spread invasive seeds from tropical area to the US via ship ports. I toured their lab where they sort the seeds and it's crazy how much lint and dirt that is sorted and so many petri dishes full of seeds based on family! They used our herbarium to identify the seeds which is so cool!

*pointing to a refrigerated shipping container* behold! a beast!

Anonymous asked:

I bought a 30 year old car and drove it cross-country back home. The other day I was taking some of it apart to work on it, and all manner of seeds and other flora that are not indigenous to my region came tumbling out. There was Spanish moss so old it turned to dust when I touched it. This plant matter traveled 3 decades and 2,000 miles to be here with me. How about that huh

this is also modern megafauna dispersal. seeds will be like oh man im so ready to fall off, i have so much food and water saved, if only a very strong and fast creature beyond my comprehension would carry me 2000 miles to a soil patch that looks like this one but different. nothing has changed

very obvious that carnivorous plants live in the wild but none of my times seeing carnivorous plants in various commercial and enthusiast settings had prepared me for almost stepping on them at [redacted southeastern US location] i got to go to on the conference plant field trip last weekend. they were actually eating flies and stuff next to like mud and grass and some sand. sundews and pitcher plants there too. just in the bushes. crazy stuff out there folks

pov you're a fly or other suitable creature and you're approaching the mundane perennial grass patch that kills you instantly. no thoughts and why would you have any

I would like to see carnivorous plants in the wild, but sadly I don't think there are any anywhere near to me (and I am not touching the entire North American continent with a ten-foot pole right now). Do you know of any carnivorous plants native to Australia?

you need to go view Cephalotus follicularis right now. the cutest of the bizarre independently evolved pitcher plants and they are scaling sandy cliffsides on the southwest coast of your country as we speak. also all the other sundews and stuff but it's hard to compete with that

very obvious that carnivorous plants live in the wild but none of my times seeing carnivorous plants in various commercial and enthusiast settings had prepared me for almost stepping on them at [redacted southeastern US location] i got to go to on the conference plant field trip last weekend. they were actually eating flies and stuff next to like mud and grass and some sand. sundews and pitcher plants there too. just in the bushes. crazy stuff out there folks

pov you're a fly or other suitable creature and you're approaching the mundane perennial grass patch that kills you instantly. no thoughts and why would you have any

very obvious that carnivorous plants live in the wild but none of my times seeing carnivorous plants in various commercial and enthusiast settings had prepared me for almost stepping on them at [redacted southeastern US location] i got to go to on the conference plant field trip last weekend. they were actually eating flies and stuff next to like mud and grass and some sand. sundews and pitcher plants there too. just in the bushes. crazy stuff out there folks

hey if anyone is at the ASB conference right now I am also here (for Quillcon 3) (dedicated isoeteshead)

going through multiple layers of hell teaching myself graphic design in microsoft publisher using only default shapes bc photoshop is too hard

my boss asking me to create educational materials to publish for work: you're creative right? you should have fun with this

me: i didnt go to school for thhis

My Beautiful Default Shapes

what people miss about that one super mad ask I got after a rare political post on here was the part where somebody replied calling the asker a plant and I said no the plants wouldn’t do this. only one thing on my mind

Russian chief officer of Posting surprised at my enthusiasm when he promises to show me secret plants but all he does is show me stuff on a computer and I’m getting bored

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