Fools (II)
This is the second and last part of Fools. You can read part 1 here. I hope you like it!
Hogwarts was really crowded the next morning. Every single student was being forced to stay inside by the heavy rain that turned the grounds into mud.
The Gryffindor common room was a complete mess for that reason. All the chatting and loud laughs made you feel like you were in a party, but not a good one. You could sense the headache coming, so you decided to leave before it did.
You didn’t know when you were supposed to meet Fred. It was Saturday, which meant the only thing that could possibly get in your way to continue the assignment was his Quidditch practice, but you knew Angelina had cancelled it due the storm. So, you wandered around, not knowing where to go or what to do.
It was a miracle that you were even standing, to be honest. You hadn’t slept well at night because you couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened. You couldn’t understand why Fred had acted that way, calling it a night when you had barely started the assignment. Yes, you were tired, but still you wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so you could have the weekend free.
Something you couldn’t deny was the fact that a slight melancholy made its way to your heart that night. There was a very unsettling atmosphere around you as you thought about the quick nap you took on his shoulder. You didn’t really know how you should feel about it. At first, you were embarrassed and a little flustered, but then… you were sad? Why?
You crossed your arms as you walked down one of the many corridors in the castle. You needed something to do, otherwise those thoughts would drive you crazy.
As if the universe had heard you, the twins came into sight at the end of the hallway, making you freeze on the spot. Suddenly, you didn’t know how to act.
They were laughing at each other, George nearly in tears as Fred said something to him. You felt a twinge in your chest when the older twin noticed you and his laugh died immediately.
He mumbled something to his brother, who waved at you, and he started walking towards where you were standing. His face was serious, though, which made you quite anxious.
“Hey,” he tucked his hands in his pockets, “Angelina cancelled practice.”
“Not at all. Do you want to do it now?”
What kind of conversation was that? It wouldn’t be weird if it was between two classmates that didn’t really talk to each other, but… You two were close. Well, had been close. Either way, it didn’t suit you. Where was his cheeky grin and the annoying remarks?
You told him that the common room was crowded and you both decided to go to the library instead. You’d just have to pick up your books in the dorm first and then you’d meet him.
As you parted ways, the realization hit you. Shouldn’t you be happy that he was finally off your case? Angelina would be, you were sure. It had finally stopped, like she wanted.
You were confused, though. You didn’t understand why it had stopped, but decided not to ask him about it. Maybe the right thing to do was just finish the damn assignment so you could go back to your previous routine, only this time you would pretend you didn’t know him and he would leave you in peace.
But the thought of it bothered you for some reason. You felt like this was the closure you two didn’t have when you broke up, and although you had longed for it in the past couple of months, you were now feeling slightly sad. Well, he was annoying and immature, wasn’t he? And the rival thing was tiring, wasn’t it? You should be glad then.
It took longer than expected for you to go get the books in your dorm. The corridors were filled with students and you had to dodge them in your way to the common room and then to the library, rushed apologies as you bumped into one or two students.
When you finally got to the first-floor corridor, you saw Fred resting his back on the wall with his arms crossed, waiting for you to go inside. You approached him and mumbled a ‘let’s go?’, receiving a nod in response.
You both walked in the library and you started searching for an isolated table, preferably in a corridor in the back, since you knew a lot of people would want to spend time there and you didn’t want to be interrupted. Your goal was to finish everything before lunch, so you could enjoy the rest of the day wrapped in a cozy blanket with a cup of hot cocoa by the fireplace, just chatting with your friends or reading a non-scholarly book. It was the perfect weather for that, after all.
The ideal table was found and you spread all your stuff on it, sitting down. As Fred sat next to you, you handed him A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration opened at the same page from the night before.
“We stopped here,” you pointed at the last line you had written down, “But I read it this morning and I don’t think this part is really relevant. Maybe we could use something from here, look.”
Fred quickly read the part you were pointing at and nodded. “You’re right.”
You grabbed your quill and started writing it down.
“Okay,” you said when you were done, “Now we just need the conclusion. There’s something in Intermediate Transfiguration that seems to be perfect for that, but I’m open for suggestions.”
Fred showed you inserts from A Beginner’s Guide to Transfiguration that seemed to be more appropriate, and you agreed, writing them all down. It took a while, but he read it out loud for you to make it faster, skipping what you both considered irrelevant. After that, he wrote a different introduction, since you had taken yours from the wrong book.
Fixing everything together, you had your summary done. The thought of how long you would have taken if you hadn’t asked for help or that your grade would probably be lower without him crossed your mind a few times, along with the thought of how great he must have felt, but you shrugged them off. He had won already, you didn’t have to torture yourself even more.
“I always thought how cool it is that Animagi have the ability to communicate with normal animals,” you thought out loud as you looked at the title of the summary, “I would love to talk to my owl…”
Your voice tone lowered until you completely stopped talking. You were suddenly embarrassed. Why were you saying that to him? You weren’t even friends anymore.
You looked away and started packing your things.
Fred sighed, running his fingers through his hair.
“How did we end up here?” he said, making you stop, “Like this?”
“What?” you looked at him.
“How did we get to the point where we can’t even talk about random stuff anymore? Tell me about why you’d like to talk to your owl, I wanna know.”
“Tell me about your day o-or your plans for next year. Tell me about why you didn’t go to Hogsmeade that Saturday or why you were sent to the hospital wing last week. Talk to me.”
You didn’t say anything. You were shocked he had even noticed those things in the first place. But what did he expect? You had broken up in a not very cool way, of course it would reflect on the friendship you had before you started dating. Things wouldn’t be normal, they never were after something like that.
“We were in love, Y/N. We didn’t spend a minute away from each other,” he looked down for a few seconds, shaking his head and wetting his lips. “Last night, when you fell asleep and I didn’t wake you up, it wasn’t because you were tired. It was because I enjoyed having you on my shoulder after months and I didn’t want it to end so soon. I enjoyed feeling you close to me again…”
He looked at you, his eyes meeting yours, and you finally understood why he was sad.
“At that moment I realized how stupid this whole thing is,” he added, “The provocations and everything else… I was angry at myself for letting you go so easily and I think that was the way I dealt with it, picking on you every time I had the chance. I guess it was better than nothing, you know? It was shit, but it was still a way of being around you.”
You were listening, not daring to interrupt. Your heart was pounding so hard inside your chest, though, and you thought the library had suddenly become so hot.
“But it took two months and one homework to make me realize that it was only pushing us further away,” Fred continued, “Do you have any idea of how many times I wanted to run to you and show you a new product for the shop? Or how many times I looked at you and felt the urge to tell you how pretty you looked? It was awful to know I couldn’t do any of that anymore. It was awful that the only words I was speaking to you were meant to annoy. But, hey! I was speaking to you.”
Gosh, how weird you felt at that moment. You had been through the exact same thing a few times, hearing a joke you knew he would like but not being able to tell him… or watching the pranks from afar and not being part of them… You thought you had started hating the pranks, but now you realized what you hated was the fact that you weren’t there doing it with him. You weren’t in his life anymore and it wasn’t nice to see that so clearly.
“I know none of us meant what we said to each other, Y/N. I don’t think you have a big ego.”
The tiniest and shiest of smiles formed on your lips.
“And I don’t think you’re immature,” you admitted, “Annoying, yes. But not immature.”
He smirked, looking down. “I can live with that.”
A comfortable silence settled upon you two as you remembered your relationship. Life was so much more exciting when you were with him, you couldn’t deny that. Each day had a different sparkle and he managed to make you feel loved and cared for all the time. You couldn’t think of a single day in which you didn’t feel safe or happy around him back then.
“What happened to us, Y/N?”
“Honestly?” you asked and he nodded, “I don’t know. I won’t lie to you and say that there weren’t times when I felt sad about something and your hug was the only thing that could make me feel better, or when something exciting happened and my instant thought was ‘how is Fred gonna react?’, because… there were.”
You sighed as you remembered a fight you had with Angelina weeks before and how you had craved for his hug. And deep down you knew… you knew that if you had looked for him, he would’ve been there for you.
“Pride can be a terrible thing sometimes, Fred,” you realized, “It can make things so complicated when in fact they should be very simple.”
You looked at each other, both regretting everything from the last two months. You felt incredibly stupid for your behavior regarding the assignment, but you were not the only one. Fred cursed at himself in his mind for letting you waste so much time with it, when he knew the answers all along. Why did the two of you have to act like that? How could you have let pride be in control?
The details of the fight that caused your breakup were slowly coming back to your memory, allowing you to realize how stupid and petty it was. You always prided yourself on being a responsible and mature person, but that silly fight proved the contrary and it hurt.
Jealousy on Fred’s side and impulsiveness on yours. The two combined resulted in a heartbreak and months of a shitty way of coping with it.
“Can I ask you something?” he said after a while.
You were completely taken aback, you were not expecting that question at all. Did you still love him?
As you thought about the fact that he was the one who could make you weak just by smiling at you or make your heart skip beats with a mere ‘doll’, you looked down. To think of the word ‘safe’ was to think of Fred’s arms and you could not ignore that. He knew you better than anyone in that school or in your family, really, and he understood even your craziest thoughts. He was the person who you could ramble about anything in the world to and he would listen. You never felt judged or uncomfortable around him, even after the breakup with the whole rivalry thing.
Fred was part of all the happiest memories you had, all the happiest moments of your life in Hogwarts. And, to be honest, he was the reason they were happy.
You looked in his eyes, shining with hope at that moment, and sucked in a breath.
“I do. I didn’t stop loving you for even a second.”
He smiled brightly, the prettiest smile you had ever seen, all dedicated to you, making you inevitably smile too. But his face earned a serious expression when he spoke again, his voice tone slightly lower.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“I would. As many times as necessary.”
You watched as his eyes slowly switched their gaze from your eyes to your lips, making you feel instantly nervous, just like you had been before the very first kiss you shared with him.
As he leaned closer, you felt his breath caressing your lips in a way that drove you crazy, agonizing with the temptation. You licked your lips as you stared at his now. They looked so perfect… and how you missed the feeling of them pressed hard on yours, sending all kinds of sensations to your body.
You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed him.
Ending the distance between you two, you crashed your lips on his. You closed your eyes immediately as you placed your hands on each side of his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. Fred slowly slid his hand into your hair, the other gently placed on your waist.
The feeling was beyond words. You blushed fiercely as you kissed, while Fred felt like a lightning had struck him. No kiss you shared before could compare to the one happening at that moment. Maybe all those crowded emotions were due the affection deprivation you both went through the last months, you couldn’t know. What you knew was that if it depended on you, Fred wouldn’t have to go through that ever again.
When you pulled away, you were feeling breathless. The boy in front of you was panting, but with a big smile spread across his face.
“I missed this,” he said, running his thumb over your lips, “I missed touching you.”
You didn’t have to ask twice. Fred pulled you to his lap and pressed his lips on yours again, in a more eager kiss this time, as if you were trying to compensate for the wasted time.
His hands were now placed on your thighs, occasionally roaming to your waist again, while your arms were around his neck, one hand slightly pulling his hair back.
You broke the kiss immediately, already feeling your face reddening.
“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry! I’ll talk to you some other time,” Hermione apologized, her cheeks bright pink.
“It’s okay!” you said quickly, getting off of Fred’s lap as he held his laugh and looked the opposite way. “What is it?”
“It’s… um… M-My book. I need my book back,” she gulped.
You grabbed her book from your bag as fast as you could and handed it to her, thanking her once again. She nodded and left in long steps.
Fred hid his face on his arms, resting them on the table, and laughed hard, the hardest you had seen in a while.
“Stop,” you pushed him, but a giggle escaped your lips.
“The look on her face,” he raised his head, “Oh God, the look on your face.”
He wasn’t even trying to be discrete and you were sure people could hear his laugh from across the room.
“If you get us kicked out of the library, I will end you.”
“Well, maybe I do want to get kicked out of here,” he smirked, eyeing you from head to toe.
