The Enterprise Crew
TOS AU where nothing is different except Janice Rand has a flower crown instead of a beehive 🌸
i love hands
SOOOOOO.....
i quit my brand new job yesterday because it was killing me to stand for 4-5 hr periods of time and i couldn’t take the pain in my legs and feet and i was crying on my lunch breaks and i just couldn’t take it anymore
so basically chekov is back
Imagine, for some major holiday, Bones’s daughter sends him a video with the instructions to play it in front of everybody. Bones has no idea what the video is, but he goes along with it anyway because it’s his baby girl, how bad can it be?
So he gathers everyone in the mess hall or on the recreation deck, and everybody is there with drinks and snacks and they’re all excited because “Aww, Bones’s daughter. She must want to tell us all good luck on our mission.” Bones turns on the video and it starts off very seriously, as seriously as a little kid can make it look. There’s a zooming shot of the stars or something, then it cuts to a very obviously handmade (and cardboard) starship bridge and somebody whispers “Joanna, lower the camera” and it pans down and we see a teeny-tiny gold-shirted kid sitting in the captain’s chair. He says “I’m Cap'ain James T. Kirk and this is my science oss'fer, Mis'er Sock”
It progresses the way an episode of TOS would go if it was written, acted, produced and directed by children (which it obviously was)
- “Kirk” has a speech impediment and tells “Uhura” at one point to get away from him because girls have cooties; plus the sleeves of his shirt are way too long for him so he just grabs things with the shirt instead of pushing the sleeves up
- “Uhura” is the “bossy older girl who has to stop the boys from fighting” stereotype but she rocks it
- “Spock” has to lead an away team into “Kirk’s” bedroom to save him from the monsters under his bed because, obviously, those are the monsters in this episode
- “Sulu” can only give his lines AT FULL VOLUME AND IN ONE TONE OF VOICE ONLY
- “Chekov” has so much stage fright that he pees his pants
- “Bones” is
totally not Joannathis older kid who has a really hard time looking grumpy - All the special effects were made with arts and crafts supplies and all the effects were done by the kids too
- Somebody’s thumb ends up in the shot halfway through
- You can hear somebody laughing in the background when “Kirk” screams about cooties
- At the end there’s a montage with everybody’s name and the character they played, and the credits roll up the screen and you see that the kids did all the production themselves and the last line is “To Daddy from Joanna” and everybody on the Enterprise loses it
Kirk loves the video so much that he legitimately considered going back to Earth right now so that he could hug Joanna
Bones is so proud of his little girl
@cihojuda this is an amazing idea!!! I could imagine the whole thing perfectly, and it’s the cutest thing!! Joanna is quite the creative one <3
Thank you so much for submitting this!!
star trek → spy au
“enterprise” is a top secret branch of the cia that deals with the most dangerous international criminals. jim kirk is the youngest and most aspiring head of said branch with christopher pike overseeing everything. their latest assignment? infiltrate and take down nero’s criminal empire.
i love deforest kelley so much pass it on
USS Trashcan PSA
Enterprise, this is your Captain speaking
The flawless (you’re welcome Hika) Lt. Hikaru Sulu has attempted to make this happen a while ago, so I’m going to try to make it happen within this message.
It would be beneficial to have the uss trashcan group chat be used as a roleplaying only group chat and the rec room be used as well, a rec room. Basically where you post all the stuff that isn’t about Star Trek. So that when people come to the chat they have less of a chance of being confused, and might be able to jump right into the chat.
It would behoove you to do this. Starfleet’s orders. Also the we got a room is so Spock and I can have some sexy times.
That is all. Kirk out.
( @bluespock @miserablemccoy @scared-scotty @spacequeen-nyota @sarcasticsulu @cheeky-chekov @badassjanicerand @cheery-chapel @bemused-mbenga @stoic-saavik @rude-riley @awesomejaylah @pining-pike @climbing-keenser @carolingcarolmarcus @gleeful-gaila @solemnlysarek @cleveramanda @gallant-george @sassy-sam-kirk @uss-enterprise-official )
so u guys heard of this new game right
USS Trashcan’s Trash Crew:
I was asked by several people to compile a list displaying all currently taken roles aboard the USS Trashcan. Here is the current role sheet, as of today (9/4):
Main Seven:
- Kirk: @happy-kirk
- Spock: @bluespock
- Bones: @miserablemccoy
- Scotty: @scared-scotty
- Uhura: @spacequeen-nyota
- Sulu: @sarcasticsulu
- Chekov: @cheeky-chekov
TOS Characters:
- Christine Chapel: @cheery-chapel
- Janice Rand: @badassjanicerand
- Dr. M’Benga: @bemused-mbenga
- Lieutenant Saavik: @stoic-saavik
- Kevin Riley: @rude-riley
AOS Characters:
- Christopher Pike: @pining-pike
- Jaylah: @awesomejaylah
- Keenser: @climbing-keenser
- Carol Marcus: @carolingcarolmarcus
- Gaila: @gleeful-gaila
Family Members:
- Sarek: @solemnlysarek
- Amanda: @cleveramanda
- George Kirk: @gallant-george
- Sam Kirk: @sassy-sam-kirk
Fun for everyone:
- The USS Trashcan itself: @uss-enterprise-official
half of star trek the animated series is kirk’s face being too close on the screen when he doesn’t need to be in the shot
i’m crying it’s true
come to the enterprise in 20 minutes if u want an ass kicking
when you’re in your twenties and start to realise how young the protagonists of the novels you read are:
just found out that a questions post i answered forever ago never posted and for some reason ended up in my drafts.
it has been posted now
Here’s the answers to the questions!
I was tagged by @bluespock <3
1) If you could live in any fictional universe of your choice, what color would your Starfleet uniform be?
Probably red because it is my favorite color. The risk though....
2) Have you ever given yourself an “aesthetic name”? What would it be?
Not yet.... i’m not sure what an “aesthetic name” is actually.
3) If you really wanted someone to understand you, what would you tell them to watch/read/listen to?
Star trek
and harry potter
4) What’s your favorite fictional food or drink? What do you imagine it’s like?
There was a dr. suess book i read as a kid. i don’t remember which one but it had a part where it mentioned a “pink drink” and it had a picture. i always wanted to try it. i imagine it probably tastes like strawberry milk though.
5) If you could adopt any pet, what would it be and what would you name it?
I already have! He is a dog and his name is bentley <3
6) If you could be any fictional species, what would you pick and why?
vulcan cause theyre amazing
7) Do you believe that fear of death is illogical, or that fear of death is what keeps us alive?
illogical. everyone dies and fear won’t change that.
8) If you could have any job in the world, regardless of monetary constraints or “it doesn’t exist yet” barriers, what would it be?
STAR FLEET OFFICER!!
HERE ARE MY QUESTIONS:
1) If you could vacation anywhere in the star trek universe, where would it be and why?
2) If you could own any one item from the star trek universe, what would it be and why?
3) Besides the USS Enterprise, which is your favorite star ship from the star trek universe and why?
#it’s like the last day of shore leave #and kirk and spock are just relaxing and all of a sudden kirk is like ”shit! we forgot to get something for the kids!” #and spock is all ”captain you don’t have to get presents for the crew every time - ” #and kirk just interrupts with ”CHEKOV’S FACE.” #and spock considers this and then wordlessly gets up and heads in the direction of the souvenir stand