there’s a lot of talk about james and severus growing up or redeeming themselves etc etc. but there’s never any commentary about lily post fifth year, when that day by the like probably had more impact on her than it did on either of the boys.
in one moment she loses her best friend and is faced with the confusing admission that someone fancies her. at fifteen that’s a lot to deal with. and, yes, at fifteen, discovering someone fancies you can be quite a big deal. obviously the former probably took precedence in lily’s head but, that doesn’t mean james asking her out didn’t lodge itself in her brain.
after years of looking up to severus, appreciating his friendship and his (what seemed to be) unconditional (in her eyes platonic) love for her - that’s suddenly ripped away. and it’s his fault. he calls her mudblood. sure, it’s in the moment and he’s not exactly having the best time but he says it. and it is a “racist” slur and, in their world, the worst thing you can call someone. and he means it as an insult. he knows what it means, he knows what saying it means.
to lily, who has spent years tackling with the fact that the world she so badly wanted to join wasn’t as excited to have her (which he didn’t warn her about either), to have her best friend turn away from her for something she can’t control? (and remember she’s already experienced this once when petunia rejected her.) i can’t imagine much worse for her. suddenly what she’s been denying for a while (and she has because she knows he hangs around with people who perform dark magic and yet in the past she excuses it) is right in front of her and she can’t ignore it anymore. now she has to lose her best friend, know that he’s always seen her as lesser and dirty etc and move on from their toxic friendship when it has been steady for the last five years.
and then, after the incident, he blackmails her into talking to him when she doesn’t want to. (nb: same as james does when he asks her out.)
like……. yes she’s clever and pretty and allegedly popular but, in their world, she is the one most at a social disadvantage. james is a pureblood and yeah, severus had a rubbish childhood but, in the wizarding world, he’s a half-blood and has a higher social standing than her. and that day by the lake severus admits that he believes all the “racist” bias he’s told her doesn’t matter.
so lily leaves fifth year confused and lost and hurt. and she has some growing up to do herself. she has to see sev for who he truly is, admit to herself what she’s been ignoring for ages, get over the inevitable guilt at the fact that she’s excused his political alignment for so long and find structure after losing her best mate.
this isn’t that comprehensive or well written but i just wanted to point out that lily is probably the biggest victim that day at the lake and people always talk about the boys but never her ???
tl/dr: lily evans left 5th year reeling from the incident and that day by the lake and the boys weren’t the only one who needed to grow up a little bit.
