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Which Marco is your favorite?

• Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez victim of magic as Peru fans curse him with tortoise
• Are there good white soccer players?
• Asamoah Gyan holding press conference to deny he used rapper as human sacrifice
• Shaqiri: “One time I was injured at Inter and Mancini sent me to a miraculous healer in the mountains. Didn’t help me at all. At Stoke we’ve got seven physios.”
• Hernanes on celebrating after scoring against his old club- “It was the saddest backflip of my career”
• Zlatan apologizes for calling France a shit country
• “Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots” - Kerlon
• Buddhist monks behind Leicester City incredible start, claims Vardy
• Lasagna scores an injury time goal that will be hard to digest for Inter fans (Inter-Carpi 1-1)
• Benitez sacking not announced yet because the area for press conference is occupied for a kids party
• Michail Antonio is no Homer Simpson, says West Ham boss Slaven Bilic
• Daniel Sturridge admits to spraying fragrance on kit before games and enjoying smelling of strawberries
• Slaven Bilic on Big Sam: “The players will respect him. He’s a big man. He’s Big Sam. You see him on the television, he fills the screen. You are looking for the board with the sponsors names behind. Where have they gone? You can’t see them.”
• Tokelo Rantie dropped from South Africa national team for farting at the coach: “The flatulence was so suffocating that the putrid stench continues to hover over the team like a dark cloud.”
• Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar.
• Leroy Fer on accidentally buying a €30,000 horse: “Sh*t I’ve got a horse”
• Porto claim they’ve access to emails which confirm Benfica spent €70k on witchcraft last season to help them win the Liga
• Mike Ashley: “I am not Obi Wan Kenobi in charge of the Death Star”
• Dick Advocaat (Dutch national team coach) last week: “Sweden won’t win 8-0 against Luxembourg”. At the moment, Sweden is leading 8-0 against Luxembourg
• New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: “My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed.”
• Carles Puyol slapped by dildo wielding fan in Russia after World Cup draw
• Moise Kean’s father claim Juve owe him farming equipment in exchange for a contract with his son
• Franck Ribéry tells a fan to “go and eat his grandma’s ass”
• Saudi Player faces jail time for dabbing
• Sean Dyche: “I don’t eat worms and I never have.”

• Gerard Piqué makes me very happy.
• That is all.

“Milan is a football freak. The number of the players he know, jerseys and all the equipment … everything. It reminds me of when I was little. He lives football with passion and he spends 90 minutes hooked. I am proud that my son likes football the same way as me. He mostly asks me why we lost a game. He doesn’t understand a Barça loss, something that new generations think happens a little. He also questions a lot of the rules of the game such as a penalty, fouls or corners.”

FC Barcelona and FC Internazionale Milano have reached an agreement for the loan of the player Rafinha until June 30th 2018. FC Internazionale has an option to purchase the player for 35M euros plus 3M euros in variables, which must be confirmed before the end of the current season. FC Internazionale assumes the player’s salary.

• Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez victim of magic as Peru fans curse him with tortoise
• Are there good white soccer players?
• Asamoah Gyan holding press conference to deny he used rapper as human sacrifice
• Shaqiri: “One time I was injured at Inter and Mancini sent me to a miraculous healer in the mountains. Didn’t help me at all. At Stoke we’ve got seven physios.”
• Hernanes on celebrating after scoring against his old club- “It was the saddest backflip of my career”
• Zlatan apologizes for calling France a shit country
• “Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots” - Kerlon
• Buddhist monks behind Leicester City incredible start, claims Vardy
• Lasagna scores an injury time goal that will be hard to digest for Inter fans (Inter-Carpi 1-1)
• Benitez sacking not announced yet because the area for press conference is occupied for a kids party
• Michail Antonio is no Homer Simpson, says West Ham boss Slaven Bilic
• Daniel Sturridge admits to spraying fragrance on kit before games and enjoying smelling of strawberries
• Slaven Bilic on Big Sam: “The players will respect him. He’s a big man. He’s Big Sam. You see him on the television, he fills the screen. You are looking for the board with the sponsors names behind. Where have they gone? You can’t see them.”
• Tokelo Rantie dropped from South Africa national team for farting at the coach: “The flatulence was so suffocating that the putrid stench continues to hover over the team like a dark cloud.”
• Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar.
• Leroy Fer on accidentally buying a €30,000 horse: “Sh*t I’ve got a horse”
• Porto claim they’ve access to emails which confirm Benfica spent €70k on witchcraft last season to help them win the Liga
• Mike Ashley: “I am not Obi Wan Kenobi in charge of the Death Star”
• Dick Advocaat (Dutch national team coach) last week: “Sweden won’t win 8-0 against Luxembourg”. At the moment, Sweden is leading 8-0 against Luxembourg
• New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: “My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed.”
• Carles Puyol slapped by dildo wielding fan in Russia after World Cup draw
• Moise Kean’s father claim Juve owe him farming equipment in exchange for a contract with his son
• Franck Ribéry tells a fan to “go and eat his grandma’s ass”
• Saudi Player faces jail time for dabbing
• Sean Dyche: “I don’t eat worms and I never have.”