all the other legendaries: *fighting*

lugia and ho-oh:

Pokemon Heritage Post

Timothy Olyphant as Joel Hammond in Santa Clarita Diet (2017—2019)

Never before have I identified with a tv character so much.

disturbingly average customer service experience

Deadpool 2 (2018) dir. David Leitch

bonus:

this is by far my favorite safety/warning sign btw. they really went off with this one

No cuz I fucking love this sign. It’s not an actual barrier so it’s not like some sort of challenge it simply says “fuck around and you will find out”

Ohohoho I LOVE “fuck around and find out” signs, especially the really dramatic and ominous (but true) ones

(Context for the last one: it’s a WWII era sign posted around the soldiers’ washroom mirror, warning them to never discuss military plans in places where civilians could hear them and report back to the enemy, e.g. in restaurants and pubs in the country. “Loose lips sink ships”.)

I also love these two, which I would place in the category of “You already fucked around, now you’re about to find out.”

Aerated water is fucking scary. It's water that has a fuckton of gas in it, which reduces the buoyancy to the point where you will immediately start to sink if you fall in.

ive been collecting these recently and wanted to add some of my favorites

Official ominous signs

THE MUMMY | 1999 dir. Stephen Sommers

I bet giant isopods are sooo delicious broiled in butter the whole thing is like lobster meat

This you?

Idk someone find me an isopod expert who could compare the tissue found in them to other shellfish and i will let you know but superficially Yeah Babey i will eat that bug like burger

That only applies to the tiny ones on land. The deep sea ones, which are that big, absolutely taste like crab or lobster and are in fact fished in some places. Apparently they also sometimes just get caught in lobster traps; they aren't necessarily restricted to the abyss!

The "If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn't have a choice my dude" is killing me, like I'm just picturing the LOTR casting directors running around Wellington with a measuring tape, black-bagging tall guys and shoving them into vans.

"You're a Lord of the Rings extra now."

"No! Please! I have a family! I'm supposed to work the closing shift at the Pita Pit tonight!"

"You serve at the pleasure of the Steward of Gondor now."

I love that video where the guy is like "It wasn't hard! You'd stumble out of a pub in Wellington after a few, and wake up to find Sir Peter Jackson himself fitting an uruk prosthetic over your head."

Why did my dad have to live in the middle of the north island in 2001 and not wellington, he could have been a lord of the rings extra

yknow what chilchuck deserved that sex ed talk maybe if someone told him about safe sex earlier he wouldn't of ended up divorced with 3 kids

just choked on my drink

thanks to anonymous for sending this ask i’ll never answer it because i love opening the inbox and saying out loud i have social anxienty and eat pussy eberyday every single time

Morning Affirmations

My mommy always said there were no monsters—no real ones—but there are. ALIENS (1986) dir. James Cameron

Omg this is like 800 metaphors rolled into one megaphor

I would like everyone to know that vulture vomit is very stinky. It smells of rotting flesh and they use it to drive away predators

Direct action

hey, at least have a picture of the American vultures doing this, not eurasian/african vultures, they are very different creatures!

Apparently vultures are protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, so there is nothing ICE can do about this except politely try to shoo the birds away.

So gods finally stopped fucking around and started with the Omens huh

The dudes from mythbusters are the ultimate unstoppable force vs immovable object,, every time they interact its just

immovable object is an amazing description for a person who once said “I don’t think our death ray is working. I’m standing right in it, and I’m not dead yet.”

Splatoon/side order fans should get excited for what I’ve been working on; Color Chip Pride Pins!!! More info down below!!!

(Reblogs are highly appreciated)