when a bard uses vicious mockery what they say comes out sounding incomprehensibly bass boosted and that’s how it causes physical damage

Bard:

@scarecrow-hero

It’s ironic.

When I worked in fast food for minimum wage, they would yell at us and lecture us about “stealing” fries and burgers (while we had to throw out TONS of food every day) as though the giant billion-dollar corporations of McDonald’s and Sonic couldn’t afford to give their employees something to eat (while not even paying us a living wage).

Now I work at an upscale restaurant (it’s fancy, like celebrities eat there fairly often) and not only do I make WAY better money but they give us 2 free meals a day (eaten on the clock) and they’re GOOD. Today I got baked cod, spring rolls, rice pilaf, stir fry, and mashed potatoes and eggplant. Oh, and free espresso and juice. From this restaurant owned by a local man who is in no way a billionaire.

Obviously money is not the issue, valuing your employees as people is.

This needs all of the reblogs.  All of them.

guy character: *has a moment of moral greyness*

most of tumblr: *nutting urselves over the complexity of it all*

girl character: *has a moment of moral greyness*

most of tumblr: BITCH amiright fucking MONSTER…WORST CHARACTER in the HISTORY OF EVER 

This is my @magi-new-year-exchange gift for @shojoshark! I was so nervous to get you as my giftee, your art is absolutely gorgeous. 

Happy New Year! ｡o0O (ﾉ `ヮ´ )ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Here’s Juhaku from the beginning to the end of the manga! 

One question

Who will stop him

nobody 

let the boy dance

Like sorry I’m not playing ur game 24 times

a waitress could slit my throat and I’d still tip 15% i dont know how her day’s been yknow?

i hear your responses and i just wanna say obviously i usually tip at least 20 like im not an animal. but to be completely fair she did kill me 

i just want all of my minor followers to know that if an older man on tumblr or in real life for that matter tells you that you’re mature for your age he doesn’t mean it he’s not your friend and his intentions are bad

d&d spells as memes. i’ll start

power word kill

heroes’ feast

Mirror image

dissonant whispers

counterspell

Vicious mockery

Mage hand

therapist: do you know what cbt stands for?

Me: (dont say cock and ball torture dont say cock and ball torture dont say cock and ball torture dont say cock and ball torture) yes but tell me anyway :)

cat life

me: wants to buy video games the second they release

bank account: 

THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.

when i saw this i couldn’t believe it didn’t have music

I hope to one day exude as much raw energy as this man does.

the god of chaos