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It's a hot rod galaxy. Rev up the stars.

@itman496 / itman496.tumblr.com

I like to draw mechanical and architectural art, pretty much anything synthetic. I try to draw living things occasionally, but bleh. Be warned that this will probably wind up being mostly ships. I also am rather good at 3D modelling, and electronics. So...
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babywarrior5
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exceli

I have nothing to do with this mission, but damn do I feel proud. What peculiar beings we, humans, are. Sending into space a doll in a spacesuit, named “Starman”, seated in an electric car, with a sign “Don’t Panic” on the car’s dashboard, blasting David Bowie’s “Life On Mars?”. I’m not crying, you are.

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snakefeathers
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lesbianshepard

my favorite out of context quotes from my archeology professor so far in no particular order

  • and floridians are just as human as you and me!
  • and the moral of the story is that there are no deadly snakes native to alaska
  • you might know this guy as one of the only archaeologists cool enough to be mentioned by indiana jones
  • it’s my dream to have my name said by harrison ford
  • i’m not going to apologize for having this class at 6am because you paid for it and it’s your fault. 
  • we don’t all dress like lara croft. i tried to get it to be a thing on a dig and my colleagues yelled at me. 
  • they were pretty good archaeologists except they were too racist to realize anything they found. 
  • i take back what i said about us not dressing like lara croft because lewis binford here is wearing nothing but short shorts and a cowboy hat. take notes for an academic halloween costume!
  • archaeologists can be good artists! not me, though. or anyone i know. but if you can draw just know you have options.
  • sometimes you find dead bodies when you dont really expect it and you just have to deal with it
  • archaeologists are the only people allowed to get exited when they find corpses. 
  • once i ruined thanksgiving dinner when i told my family i had gotten my degree in archaeology and my uncle commented he liked dinosaurs too
  • the closest i’ve ever been to a grizzly bear is when i left my glasses in my tent on a dig in alaska,  saw a big rock in the distance, and almost screamed
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lesbianshepard

additional quotes

  • ah yes. archaeologists. or, as i love to call us,  pottery analysts
  • i mean he was kind of a good guy for helping us beat britain but he owned slaves so that really cancelled it out.
  • archaeology is like cultural anthropology, except after you interview the person you turn around and shoot them in the head.
  • do not use trees! trees are bad! don’t do it!
  • usually you find shards, but it’s super exciting when you find a really big shard
  • it’s basically like a waterpark, except you’re fully clothed and walking through a dark tunnel knee deep in muddy water. so, basically splish splash.
  •  i dont believe in curses but my colleagues and i like to encourage the idea of them so people stop touching our stuff
  • usually, you would find a knife in a kitchen. or underneath your pillow to really freak out your roommate who is a history nerd and has no idea why you would sleep with a knife under your pillow and he’ll get really scared and freaked out and okay i’m getting off topic
  • no matter what the other scientists say, archaeology is a real science.
  • don’t worry, i promise you, and whatever government agency that’s spying on me right now,  that i’m not a crazy communist trying to overthrow the government
  • by now you’ve noticed the big “POP QUIZ” written on the board. there isn’t one, but i wanted to see the looks on your face when you saw it. but you’re all dead inside so it’s not really funny.
  • everything was fine except the citizens of pompeii just woke up dead the next day
  • the number one question you should ask when you read old archaeology papers is “how the hell do you know?”
  • nothing pisses off old men more than young people asking “why” and “prove it” so do that as often as possible
  • this is incredible! all it takes is a computer the size of this room!
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lesbianshepard

even more from the margins of my notebook!

  • when in doubt, it’s ritualistic
  • coprolites are the only shit archaeologists get excited over
  • i know the only reason you’re not laughing at my hilarious jokes is because it’s early 
  • they called it the garbage project. which is also what people call the projects i work on when we apply for funding.
  • what you have to realize is that people are fundamentally weird. they do weird stuff now and they have done it thousands of years ago.
  • things come and go but pottery is forever
  • i dont know if you all know this but moose are terrifying abominations. 
  • and today’s lesson is about the difference between dirt and soil!
  • please, please, please do not eat old butter you found buried in a bog.
  • normally i would say this blackboard is a feature because it isn’t portable and can’t be moved but this is a community college so who knows
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lesbianshepard

one of my biggest fears is that this will get so many notes that someone in the class will see it and show it to the professor and he’ll realize half the notes ive been taking in class are jotting down the weird shit he says

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rightwingtoday

This was the most magical thing I’ve ever read.

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unquestionablyquestionable

Russian soldiers witness the awakening of an elder god.

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knightrepentant

Why does this stuff always happen in Russia? What are they doing?

Reality decided that’s the only place where it can cut lose, considering they don’t seem to give a fuck about anything. 

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lisasimpsonwannabe

“According to some of the YouTube comments, the fire was caused by burning zinc, and the screaming came from the underground pipes that had somewhat of a ‘flute’ effect when the air passed through the tubes.“ 

cool

http://en.zockme.com/screaming-fire-eerily-burns-out-of-the-ground-in-russia/

Russia: The beautiful, international version of, “Hold my beer and watch this”.

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zevri

The goddamn Apple Store is so fucking trendy these motherfuckers don’t even use cash registers anymore. Like holy shit why would I ever want to wait in line to pay for my immensely overpriced lightning bolt-to-usb cable, when I can wander around aimlessly looking for the one bearded top knot in the grey shirt who happens to have a card reader attached to his free iPhone 6? Literally fucking walked up a dude and was like ‘Yo where’s the till?’ And guy looks at me straight in the fucking face and says, ‘Oh well, there should be one or two people walking around on either side of the store who can process your payment.’ ALL OF YOU DRESS EXACTLY THE SAME! Am I supposed to accost every single goddamn one of you until I finally find the one goddamn fucking anthropomorphisized Mac Computer who is willing to let me pay for this shit? And when I finally find the dude and let him tap his shit against the box that I’m trying to purchase, of course he gives me the smuggest fucking smile I’ve ever seen on a human face and asks, ‘Would you like to use Apple Pay?’ Like GOOD LORD can we please just take a step outside of your möbius fucking circle jerk and let me hand you fifteen pounds in cash? Cash money? Real fucking physical fucking tender? No it’s okay, I don’t need a fucking receipt. What, you mean you’re going to print me a real receipt? A physical receipt that I can carry in my pocket? You’re not gonna beam it to my fucking wrist? You’re not going to send it via dropbox to an undisclosed fucking IP Address where I have to complete a CAPTCHA and accept your terms and conditions for the one millionth time in order to check that, yes, I did just spend £20 pounds and 45 minutes on a thin wire made of plastic and metal that’s gonna break in a month anyway? I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND THIS PLANET ANYMORE

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itman496

this is me. literally me

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babywarrior5

Dan and I have been doing some worldbuilding in our RaC universe and he wanted to revamp his lombaxsona/self-insert character cause he’s sick of the black and blue color scheme. So he said that he wanted to look like “one of those cats that looks like a toasted marshmallow” aka a flame point cat. He’s super cute.

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itman496

LOOK AT THIS MARSHMALLOW THO

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babywarrior5

None of these are particularly good but I made a new brush that’s pretty nice so…  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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itman496

SPACE CATS C:

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