technically, missing

ELLA PURNELL as LUCY MACLEAN Fallout | 1.01: The End

you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker

casting these before getting out of bed like buff spells before a raid boss

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

monkey man promo interviews r just like oh yeah dev patel broke multiple bones during the action scenes and he simply shoved a screw into his hand and moved on and the sets kept burning down and the cameras were malfunctioning and we spent half a year editing a segment in a scene and we were trapped in an island for months and the crew was marrying n divorcing each other in total soap opera fashion but whatever we made it because if there's a will there's a way <3

We will not be girlrotting in April. We will be girlblooming girlburgeoning girlflourishing

”I will be withering away in bed” no. You will be out there under the spring sun. With the grass between your toes

my biggest pet peeve wiht the english language is that you don’t have sin/sina

in swedish if u have two people who use the same pronoun u can always tell whos doing what bc its like ‘han tog sin väska’ (he took his[own] bag) and ‘han tog hans väska’ would be that he took the other persons bag

but in english its like if u have 2 ppl w/ the same pronoun:

“she took her bag” whose bag????WHose BAG was it her OWN bag or the other her’s bag??????????????

“he ate his donuts” were the donuts his own???? did he fucking eat someone elses donuts??? YIU DONT KNOW bc english is a bullshit language 

its funny that people are calling this the gay fanfiction dilemma bc thats literally why i made this post. i was writing a gay fanfic. 

CHAPPELL ROAN Coachella — April 12, 2024

The tumblr experience is having politics that make the most left leaning progressive you know irl blush and then logging on here and getting called a bootlicker fascist because you said that you dont think we should make the reign of terror happen again

Me irl: the problem isnt taxes, youre thinking too small. The problem is that the federal government isnt taxing the right people the right amount. Theyre taking all our extra cash in our measly little wealth bracket and letting the billionaires hang on to more money than they can ever spend in a lifetime. The only way anybody gets a single billion is either through exploitation or inheriting it from someone else who did the exploitation, nobody who has that kind of money earned it legitimately. Not only do we need to strip that back into social safety nets for those of us theyre bleeding dry instead, but they need to establish hard laws and regulations to prevent that kind of exploitation from happening in the first place!

My coworkers: man, youre a real red-card commie, aren't you? You gonna start telling us to vote NDP and that healtcare isnt a scam too? Jesus christ go give someone else your goddamn revolution pamphlets, lenin.

Me on tumblr: while i appreciate the animosity towards billionaires, i dont think literally dragging a guillotine into the streets and beheading people as a public spectacle is going to actually solve the problems inherent in the system considering the french already tried that and it didnt work out well for them. Also i dont think anybody has the right to decide who lives and who dies, im pretty anti death penalt-

Tumblr users: how does that boot taste, fascist?

i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

They should add a feature to this website where you can browse someone’s blog by inputting a short phrase and then a search algorithm would retrieve all the posts containing it

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

your honour my client merely just got a little bit genghis khan

Further Americanisms that tell you to check on your American:

been better = in hell

doin’ alright = sad, needs hug

pretty great! = genuine actual baseline. Anything else ranks beneath this. Be Aware.

I’m here, ain’t I? = Defcon 5

Because someone asked, indications that an American is actually Having A Good Day include:

“Living the dream” is a sign of SEVERE distress please get your American medical assistance immediately if they start saying that! It really means something like “this is the worst day of my life”

(I say this as an American who has Never been having a good time when I’ve said that)