ENTRY LEVEL MEANS NO EXPERIENCE. IT MEANS NO PORTFOLIO OF RELEVANT SAMPLES. ENTRY LEVEL IS ENTRY LEVEL

The Happiest Girl In the World

"kill them with kindness" wrong. bone construct

my body is a temple? wrong. mausoleum. *gives myself a lobotomy, preventing my dead girlfriend’s soul from being consumed by mine in a desperate attempt to save her. and takes her sunglasses and sword from her corpse, hoping to return them to her one day. bitch.*

I love how Tamsyn Muir was like, in this world everybody’s totally cool about gender and sexuality, but there’s a new invented binary that’s culturally and religiously defining and dictates who people are allowed to love and/or fuck and the roles they play in society.

They’ve written volumes and volumes of religious texts about how to conform to these sacred binary roles and filthy porn about people fulfilling or breaking the stereotypes of these roles. The role a person fulfills is determined before they’re born and dictates every aspect of their life. Once in a while someone who’s supposed to be on one side of the socioreligious binary is born more suited to the other side and has to hide it all their life (Coronabeth). Sometimes people fall in love in a way the socioreligious binary declares blasphemous and they decide to love each other openly anyway, and it shocks and scandalizes people no matter how wholesome and lovely and mundane their relationship is (Abigail and Magnus).

And these sacred binary roles are not equal, oh no, as much as the religious doctrine crows the importance of both roles, one is supposed to sacrifice endlessly and unquestioningly for the other, body, mind, and soul. And these binary roles have existed for ten thousand years and were created by God and underlie the whole structure of the universe! But here’s the secret: there was a time before this sacred binary existed, and God is just Some Guy who made this shit up.

Harrow: my deepest darkest trauma is that my parents killed a bunch of children in order to make me into a powerful necromancer. they died for me. their blood is on my hands.

Gideon: that sucks dude. anyways I'm going to sacrifice myself to save your life. you'll be an even more powerful necromancer. pretty sick, huh?

Gideon: why are you so upset about this

Gideon: is it because you don't like me

i just. i just…FUCK. i just really want harrowhark to go sicko mode when she realizes john has the power to resurrect whoever he wants he just chooses not to and even after learning about his own blood daughter he still doesn’t resurrect her he just makes her a construct. i would be alecto-levels of grief-stricken-enraged if my childhood nemesis/guard dog/whipping girl/codependent lesbian situationship that i lobotomized over/suicide-pact soulmate/only friend was suddenly here but not here haunting her own dead body and the only reason she’s present is because she was made into a fascist killing machine for a man with a power kink, and she’s not even happy about it but she’s going through the motions because all she knows of love is to be useful. (forever your sword.) and if i was harrow and i died and then came back to myself after switching bodies with the human cage holding the earth’s soul and realized all of this, i think i too would be accompanying the earth’s soul on her shoulder to go kill a man with eclipse-eyes and criminal levels of nonchalance. y’know. the one who guarded g1deon but not me, lord. the one who was so sure i had never seen that which lies insensate and with stilled mind, lord, who did not realize i was a lock and there was a key in the shape of a girl, lord. the one who looked me dead in the eye and told me i could never have my cavalier back, lord. the cavalier who came back haunted and empty and incomplete by your hand, lord.

i’m so team ‘harrowhark saves gideon for real this time not because she wants her cav but because she wants her other half’ i might lose my mind about it

I hear sburban jungle playing loudly from a roommates room 😭😭 I gotta get the fuck outta here the meteors are coming

I hateee the "Mandela effect" no dude alternative universes ain't shit its just humans have piss porn memory get over it

"forgetting Pikachu's tail color is proof the universes are crossing over 😳" do you think aliens built the pyramids too

Hey uh I think your phone auto corrected poor to uh

You know how it is

op came from the piss porn universe

if i was the dead wife in a male protagonist’s tragic backstory my dead wife hazy memory montage would be me laughing while scrolling my own tumblr blog

I think the most humiliating object in the world is the Fleshlight sleeve warmer

Its only purpose is to slide into your fleshlight and get it to body temp. It's $30. I want to get every single man who owns one of these into one room and make them do long-form improv

Jail!

Different Jail!

Is... is there a Fleshlight sleeve chiller?

Death Penalty

no i don’t have plans later. i will, however, be taking extensive poison damage periodically for the foreseeable future. but beyond that my schedule is totally open

if you hear me going “haugh.” or perhaps “augh” every so often and see me doubling over. well. Don’t even worry about it.

Steve Harringron in season 1 of Stranger Things is the most character. He did some bad stuff and immediately went "Aw, beans. That wasn't cool. I better go apologize" at which point The Plot he'd been blissfully unaware of for the entire show immediately tried to eat him.

Steve: "Hey Nancy I wanted to apologize for--"

Nancy, cocking a gun: "Wall's haunted."

Best trick I ever picked up. Seriously.

I have also learned this is great for [PICK A COOL NAME FOR A SHIP] and [LOOK UP THE FACTS ABOUT OXYGEN LEVELS] and [WHAT’S THE WORD] and [DOUBLECHECK CHARACTER’S EYE COLOR] and ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

Anything that isn’t critical in the moment, and could be filled in later while I’m currently trying to burn through writing pages that will be lost if I don’t get them out right now? Brackets.

This is seriously the best advice, and it really helps put it into perspective that the first draft is just that- a draft. There’s no reason to agonize over a particularly tricky bit of writing when you could just leave it in brackets and skip to the good parts, the parts you’ve visualized. I also use brackets for [fact-check this], [use a stronger verb], [is this in character?] and other notes as I write, just so I don’t forget what I want to work on when I go back and edit. 

Note the good sense of [brackets] not (parentheses).

Parentheses AKA round brackets can appear in fiction, usually as an afterthought in a character's thoughts or narration (as I saw them used just recently), but square brackets hardly ever do.

This conjures a mental image of a guy driving down the road, minding his own business, when the cat pops up next to him, he starts screaming, the cat starts screaming.