Imagine having beautiful, strong, cute tomboyish wife, that could easily kick your ass and pin you against the wall, and rejecting her because she makes your pp feel small. What a loser coward you'd have to be.
You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.
I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.
The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.
It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”
People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”
“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “
“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”
That was true. I do bite.
Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care
Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck
Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.
By Talos this can't be happening
reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.
why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op
this leaves out the most crucial tip you'll ever need:
-site:pinterest.*
excludes the entirety of pinterest's evil domainverse from image search
Reblogging for the Pinterest addition
I think you mean “reblog for the pinterest subtraction”
I’m getting close to the end of my BOTW adventures, it is making me reflect and giving me feelings I didn’t expect.
So question, if Luz was a DnD race what race would she best fit?
Uh…
I mean, there’s not much to consider here, her whole thing is being a human in a world of magical creatures. Humans in D&D are all about being stubborn enough to stand out despite being “not special”. They can do anything they set their minds to it. Plus the human build is much more flexible than any other race in the player’s handbook, even if you pick the variant human with +1 to 2 stats and 1 feat of your choice. D&D humans are adaptable, and I say Luz has adapted to the Boiling Isles pretty well.
If by your question you mean “how to build Luz Noceda in D&D”, that’s a different beast altogether. I’m not by any means an experienced D&D nerd so there might be a better way to do this this, but I think I’d go for either an Evocation Wizard build (elemental spells and all, plus Luz is very smart!), or a Lore Bard for the early Magical Secrets ability (using art instead of music as flavor – check with your DM and all that jazz); I’d probably do both if the character character lives long enough in the campaign. Scores from highest to lowest:
This is just off the top of my head, from what I can remember from the Player’s Handbook. I’m sure there’s more builds that can be used to play Luz in D&D in the WotC library, and if there aren’t any homebrewing is always an option.
I forgot the point I was trying to make. What was the question again? Ah yes.
Human. Luz would be a human.
I’ve actually put some thought into this, only using Pathfinder 2nd Edition instead of D&D 5e. Definitely Human, probably with Ancestry Feats like Cooperative Nature and Clever Improviser to show how she’s always willing to help, and tends to be able to at least grasp aspects of just about everything she sets her mind to. As for Class, definitely a Universalist Wizard. Because she would never limit her focus to a single School of Magic (and it’s kind of weird that 5e removed them as an option now that I think about it), she would want to be able to cast Every Spell. Now, as far as converting Glyphs goes, there’s these cool things called Riffle Scrolls in Pathfinder’s lore, which are essentially flipbook scrolls that create a spell without the need for your typical spellcasting. And it just so happens that someone (surprise, it’s me) adapted them to Pathfinder 2E in the last issue of Wayfinder, so you can totally make Luz in Pathfinder with 90% accuracy to canon.
!!!!!
Wow, Riffle Scrolls are almost exactly like glyphs. I now really want to transfer them to 5E.
I've always compared Luz's magic and witches' magic to magic of wizards and sorcerers. Luz uses knowledge she from observing the world to use magic around them to create an effect, while witches have their own magic source they tap into to achieve the same. I didn't really think of equivalent of glyphs in D&D, I just figured glyphs in ToH are equivalent of verbal components for "wizards" . Instead of "speaking" spells Luz is writing them, and, as evident from "Hunting Palismen" , she can use material components too to create new effects.
Help me Reddit: my daughter’s running a Bitcoin Ponzi scheme that’s threatening my church job
Settlement: Rotbottom
Background & Environment: A goblin fishing hamlet located in the center of a vast and fetid swampland, Rotbottom considers itself to be a haven for outcasts, scoundrels and the unsociably odd. Rotbottom is a ramshackle place, built of salvaged wood and stolen nails, and against all odds operates under a spirit of optimism despite the overwhelming sense of decay. The people there are ramshackle too, the many goblin families accepting and even adopting those found monstrous or maligned by other settlements.
Mood & Themes: Moral degeneracy and acceptance, the entire settlement is “the wrong side of town”.
Who’s Hiring:
Rumors & Goings on:
they do this so that they can prove people use the library, figure out what books are popular so they can make sure to get more like it or further entries in a series, and to figure out what times the library is more buisy while ive never killed a person in a library (yet) i do sometimes unshelve additional books to boost the statistics thus resulting in increased funding for the library, however small
librarians being a-ok with murder but draw the lines at reshelving books is painfully on brand
@sanctuary-for-strange-people can you v verify
SERIOUSLY.
(Spoiler Alert)
At this point, our beloved game Breath of the Wild has been out for around half a year already. If you have played the game, you are probably very familiar with the Adventure Log feature in BotW that helps you keep track of all your missions and side quests. Or else its pretty much impossible to remember if you were catching chickens for this guy or collecting weapons to show that kid who’s boss.
But here’s the thing- Have you ever thought about the Adventure Log’s origin? Who or what is helping Link keep track of his missions?
If your answer is the Sheikah Slate or the “system”, which is what I’ve always thought, I’m gonna go ahead and assume you own an European/American copy of the game. Because apparently, in the Japanese version of the game, there is evidence that shows that LINK is the one who wrote the adventure log to keep track of his own journey.
“Ok… So what?”
So Link wrote the Adventure Log. Big deal. It’s not like this is gonna change the gameplay in any way.
…True. However, Link didn’t JUST record his missions in the Adventure Log. According to the Japnese version, Link would often type up some of his own thoughts and comments on what he was doing aside from his current objectives. This could give us a deeper insight of Link’s character.
Here’s an example:
This is what shows up after you complete The Hero’s Sword quest. The content of the two versions are very similar, but notice the use of “自分” (myself) in pic 1. This is evidence that the adventure log is written by Link, who’s talking about himself in first person narrative, instead of “the system”. With that in mind, the Japanese version can be translated to:
(I) Finally retrieved the legendary Master Sword. (I) Don’t know if it’s just an illusion, but the sword itself seems to be delighted about this.
To this moment, Princess Zelda is still inside Hyrule Castle, fighting to suppress the Calamity.
She is still holding on to the faith in me, believing that I will definitely come for her…!
But with the power (that I have) now, can she really be saved (by myself)…?
You see what they did there?
As someone who owns an American copy, and has never set the system language to Japanese, I was absolutely SHOCKED when I was told about this (credits at the end).
Remember how we could find diaries of NPCs all across Hyrule? Link’s was right under our noses this whole time!
Now that you know about this, does your adventure log seem a bit different from before?
(I) finished visiting all 13 of the locations in the old pictures. I remembered everything I’ve been through together with Princess Zelda.
In those memories (of mine), Princess Zelda always strived to complete the task burdened onto her…
Even if it’s just a moment sooner, (I) want to save her as quickly as possible
(I) want to see her smile again, with these eyes (of my own).
The translation on this one is just OFF. I can’t believe the English version completely omitted the last part, and replaced it with some kind of mission instruction.
…*sniff*
Not to mention those side quest logs. Once you realize that all of the entries were written by Link himself, the seemingly trivial information recorded in those suddenly opens up so many more hidden sides of Link. It basically re-introduced Link as someone with normal human emotions instead of the silent hero depicted throughout the game.
The caring Link, who was worried about a girl he only met twice for putting herself in danger:
…(I) ventured inside and found part of the Royal Guard’s Series, famous among equipment collectors.
When those were shown to Parcy, the traveler at the stable, her curiosity about it seem to be provoked more than ever (by me). (I) Hope she won’t do anything reckless…
The compassionate Link, who felt glad for other peoples’ happiness:
…
As a sign of appreciation for bringing the town together and as compensation for the work done (by me), a hefty amount of gems that were unearthed during the town’s construction were given by Hudson (to me).
(I) wish the couple could live happily ever after.
The reckless Link, who apparently felt thrilled when he managed to knock out some monsters with his new companion:
(I) captured the giant horse in Taobab Grasslands
So that’s why. It’s indeed a really big horse. It trampled whatever kind of monster in its way with ease when it galloped. That was really cool.
When it was brought back to Straia (by me), he was very surprised.
Link the foodie, who carefully noted down new recipes he learned along the way for future use:
(I) brought Kiana the goat butter and hearty blueshell snail required for cooking seafood paella. She shared some of the dish (with me) as thanks!
/////Recipe/////
The playful Link, who tried to mimic the way Gorons speak- by adding “goron” at the end of every sentence- after he passed the Test of Will and became one of the bros:
……
Ah… (I) kinda want to write down Kabetta’s Bro Motto, but there’s not enough space goron?
That’s too bad goron…
The empathetic Link, who felt nervous for the guy in this side quest, then relieved when the couple finally got together:
…and… THIS:
The last line on the left is the Japanese equivalent of What the heck…
I guess the statue is a bit too weird even for our great adventurer.
Finally, we have the entry that shows up after you complete the DLC trial:
(I) finally conquered the merciless Trial of the Sword.
……
(I believe that) Princess Zelda would be quite happy about how much I’ve improved
As we all know, Breath of the Wild is a game that focuses a lot on the freedom given to the players. Even the main story line is broken down into the form of memories, waiting for the players to find. As the players venture on into the wild, they would eventually find the information they need to learn about this world. The amazing amount of details you can find about Hyrule and its people is an important reason why BotW is so attractive.
On the contrary, the info available about our protagonist is very limited. The only piece of description that directly describes Link is in Zelda’s diary, where she points out that he is a very quiet person, and that’s it for our hero.
…NOT!!
Link had always had the most extensive character description. Right under our noses.
Nintendo got us. They got us GOOD.
But now we know.
SIX months after the game’s launch.
…Better late than never.
End.
P.S.: Fun fact about BotW Link- he seems to like the sand seal game a lot. Of all the entires about racing minigames, the sand seal game is the only one where Link wrote “(I’ll) try to get a better score next time!”
He’s so adorable I can’t //////
Disclaimer: I did not discover this.
This discovery was made by a Chinese gamer @atomaruU about a week ago. To make sure that her theory is correct, she cross referenced the English version of the game, only to discover that the language is completely emotionless and robotic. Therefore, to allow more people to see who Link REALLY is, I was asked to write this post based on the Chinese article she published.
Her Twitter: https://twitter.com/atomaruU
Chinese article Link: http://weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404145837893616605
Pic credits: @lulubuu0609 (She’s an amazing artist btw check out her blog)
Hope you enjoyed this :3
windows 10 is garbage so every time i boot up the computer i have to run command prompt and enter
net.exe stop “Windows Search”
so that the shitty goddamned search/cortana feature that i never fucking use stops running in the background taking up all my fucking disk space
before
after
what the fuck is that seriously what the fuck is making my computer be a fucking piece of shit
@baristaboy try this out dude
y’all didn’t even add a tutorial of how to do this so imma put one right here 1. type in cmd.exe into your windows search and right click on Command Promt search result and select “Run as Administator”. 2. Type/Copypase in net.exe stop “Windows Search” and make sure Windows Search is in quotations. It should then respond saying “The Windows Search service is stopping” and then tell you it’s stopped. This is only a temp fix though, if you want it switched off permanently then do THIS: 1. Press the Windows key + R at the same time and type in services.msc. 2. Scroll until you find Windows Search and double click it to enter its Properties window. 3. Change the Startup type to Disabled. Apply this change and you can exit out. VOILA, NO MORE TAKEN UP DISK SPACE
Reblog to save a fucking life, FUCK CORTANA.
I promise this won’t be the only botw thing I draw
(couldn’t find a ref of bludo so HAHA)
witches snuggling on a windowsill, keep scrolling
Edit: i fucking forgot the godamn shitting fuck amity’s brown roots fucking godamn stupid dumb
I feel like not enough people are talking about the fact that Hooty captured on of the most powerful characters in the show effortlessly. That begs the question, how strong is Hooty? How far can he extend? Is he long enough to take over and rule the Boiling Isles?
…. how…. how did i not consider this…
