Astraea Redux

octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.

I hate to disappoint the finest minds on tumblr but

Gallery of fake fans right here.

The presence of Squilliam Fancypants would suggest that “Squi-“ is simply a common prefix for octopus names, likely one with great cultural significance and meaning

his name is squilliam fancySON we are exposing TOO many fake fans tonight

squidward has only 6 tentacles. OCTOpuses have 8 (hence the prefix). the creator is a marine biologist, this isnt some rookie design mistake. literally anyone who has watched the show for 5 minutes would know this come on now yall….

you dont get to decide whether or not all the octopuses in the show’s lack of tentacles is or isnt a design choice when its already BEEN CONFIRMED BEFORE THAT HES AN OCTOPUS IN A MULTITUDE OF OFFICIAL MATERIALS. also, there are actual squids on the show:

Also where is everyone in the notes getting the idea that 8 tentacles=octopuses and 6 tentacles=squids. Squids don’t have 6 tentacles. Squids have 10 limbs, 2 of which are tentacles and 8 of which are legs that look like tentacles.

this started as an argument about squidward being an adult virgin

yeah but nobody is going to argue against that

every now and then i have to think of the roman family from two thousand years ago that buried their little daughter in a boy's athletic-themed sarcophagus and i weep a little because that's the softest declaration of love i can possibly imagine

i am once again emotional and sleep deprived so let me elaborate to make myself feel better.

octavia paulina was a six year old girl whose sarcophagus was found in her family's tomb at via triumphalis in rome, dated roughly around the third century a.d. her parents mourned her mors immatura, her premature death, by having the wall behind her sarcophagus painted with the image of a giant meadow with children and a chariot pulled by doves accompanied by hermes leading an unconscious girl into afterlife. (to my knowledge, the doves and the fact that they were led by hermes was a symbol for hope.)

the sarcophagus itself shows athletic competitions between girls and boys alike, and in the most important one on the front, octavia paulina appears as the winner (a palm branch in her hand, which is meant to symbolize her strength and honor, her virtus). her opponent is sitting on the floor, upset. what really stands out is that octavia paulina's parents ordered a common sarcophagus that was usually used to bury boys with athletic interests or futures but then proceeded to have it remodeled — smaller heads and genitalia cut off etc — to include girls in the relief.

i just get very soft when i think about parents ordering a sarcophagus for their little daughter who think it's perfect for her and who remodel it to make it even more accurate for her. the thought of parents more than 1.700 years ago thinking their six year old daughter deserves a sarcophagus that fits her personality (rather than what was expected of her as a young girl of the time) despite none being available and then ordering for it to be altered makes me wanna scream because it's such a human and caring thing to do. maybe octavia paulina even had a say in this because it took weeks to months to make a sarcophagus this detailed.

got eaten up with 3 words

you coming back to tell us here

Reblog this if you’re polyamorous, searching for a cryptid, trying to communicate with demons, willing to throw a Molotov cocktail at a police car, really want more tattoos/piercings, or just really love nonbinary people.

No one will ever know which one 👀

How is everything so vulgar and over sexualised but completely sexless and devoid of magnetism and desire….. neutered ass planet

seen this put very well recently: everything is pornographic but nothing is erotic

i see a man wearing nail polish and i have to avert my eyes lest my gaze become lustful

"feminine urge" is just girly things 2.0

alright I reflected on the self. I’m 100% sure the beasts are the issue here

Hell yeah bro. 🤝Time for top surgery

sorry homie. I see now you said beasts. Like, The animal . Not breasts. The word for boobs. Did not mean to threaten you.

this is so fucking funny

odd how many people don’t realize that Red Cross bloodmobiles rely on that logo specifically to deter vampire ambushes

small cross up front to protect the driver, heavy-duty cross in back to protect the payload. kinda assumed this was common knowledge

oh oh oh! Armored Car Heist Film but it’s vampires robbing a bloodmobile. all the typical heist tropes apply

Wisptober Day 16 - Romance

 "Who said romance is dead?“ 

 Just two graveyard Girlfriends and a violet!;) 

Beginning of DA:Origins post-Ostagar like:

artist’s rendition

Adonis, from Selected Poems; “A Piece of Bahlul’s Sun” (tr. Khaled Mattawa)

i refuse to apologize for being weird or offputting actually that's your problem i'm having a fantastic time

tbh the funniest part in the fellowship of the rings is when pippin drops the helmet down the well in balin’s tomb and we’re just listening to it drop while everyone stares at him and he flinches at every clang and then when it’s over gandalf goes after his whole life i die every time

unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

“go ahead and mingle” are four of the scariest words in the english language thank you and goodnight