Floaty Crowny Things

the angel numbers have spoken. I need 222 see some boobs

For God So Loved This Dope World

“don’t eat honey because it exploits the bees and they can’t consent!!!” bees are literally unionized and will walk out if they don’t like being in the beekeeper’s hives

she ebbin on my neezer til i scrooge

so, here's the thing. tumblr/apple can ban as many words as they want and it will never achieve their goal of "cleaning up" this site because this wretched nonsense poetry is somehow now the single dirtiest thing I have ever read in my life and honestly thank god.

sorry

maturing is realizing that emojis and emoticons can coexist….. an emoji cannot express the feeling of :) and an emoticon cannot express the feeling of 😳. #peaceandlove

people who are nice to me in online games even though i suck: i owe u my life

people who communicate in online games by jumping around or spin in a corcle instead of using the chat function: i love you

I still dream of one day coming home and finding him standing there waiting for me

queen, while i was picking up all the discarded monster cans around your pc i noticed your docs seemed kind of scuffed! do you need me to polish them with my to

A name is a spell you cast on your child when they’re born

I cast “get bullied in middle school”

Power word: Melvin

Here’s the thing about men with earrings: not all men wearing earrings are men with earrings, and some men not wearing earrings are men with earrings. If you pick a dude off the street and give him earrings it will likely not make him a man with earrings, just a man wearing earrings. In order to be a man with earrings, the earrings must be an extension of the man.

OP what are you talking about?

Men with earrings. Did you not read the post

[image description: a tweet by user @/CHIPANIMUS that reads “What happens in your head when you do 27 + 48? PLEASE respond I’m tryna see something”. end id.]

you know when you see something and you're like omg I have to send this to [friend] but then realize [friend] is the one who reblogged/retweeted it. so you're like damn I can't show it to them :( but also this means I was right they'd like it :)

me listening to my playlist: omg that’s crazy i love this song

Why do ppl keep saying that they make a mean dish why's it gonna be mean why does every thing have to be evil 😔 so much hate in the world

i make a tender, caring roast chicken that'll kiss you so so much

I make a mac n cheese so good you could fuck it