▲ late night warmth (with one or two extras)

CONVEX’s comeback is looming closer and closer; Hyun can tell as they get pulled into the recording studio to record their parts, and the practices get longer and longer.

That, and the tell-tale trip to the hair salon in preparation for a new concept.

Nothing really changes much for the Vocal Unit leader, though. He’s sure he’s quite well-known among the fans now for his rotation of ‘natural’ hair colours. Nonetheless, it’s protocol to cover his hair when in public after the salon trip, up until they can reveal any new changes (or lack thereof), and so Hyun is seen donning on a cap to cover as much of his hair as possible, as well as hiding half his face behind a face mask.

It’s almost become routine for him now, whenever he’s out and able in public areas and not working. Ever since January, he’s become wary – of who can be watching, who’s following. If he can, he tries to take a taxi if he’s meeting up with friends, but sometimes he can’t avoid the bus or train. He knows he’s not super famous enough yet to think so highly of himself to be tailed at every turn, but he’d like to try to keep some parts of his life private as much as possible. Although, if he were to truly want privacy, he would be best to finally study towards getting a driver’s licence. Purchasing a car though … that seems a bit far away with his current income. Maybe if he pushed himself harder in the coming months to gain solo schedules, he could afford one.

Nothing overly fancy, no; just something comfortable but nice.

‘It’d be nice if I could drive Sua around for once.’

Hyun thinks this as he asks the taxi driver to drop him off a couple blocks away from his final destination, a shower taken and clothes changed after a long day of practice, but only into a change of clothes that were rather similar to his practice attire earlier. His hair is a little messy, having been quickly dried with a small towel, but he doesn’t think Sua will mind much. Maybe the hat he has on will tidy it up a bit.

He sends the text to her as he wanders his way over to the apartment complex, head bowed in the glow of street lights, his gait swaying as he idly plays on his phone. In his bag are hidden some new pet treats, gifts he’s sure will go down well and give him some more scratches up his legs. He’s told his manager he’s going to visit an old work friend for a quick catch up as he misses the pets he used to work with, and knows he can’t stay out too late. “I’ll take full responsibility to wake up on time in the morning for practice, I promise,” Hyun had insisted. “If I don’t, you have full permission to throw cold water on me in the morning!”

things slowly seem to be getting better.  sua isn’t the type to expect them to remain that way forever, though.

at the very least, hyun has been spending more and more time with her now that they’re actually able to start seeing each other.  these are days that she looks forward to, wishing that practice and the daily grind that supposedly gives the staff reason to choose one of the girls once a month would simply end so she could go home as soon as possible just to see him.  after all, hyun’s schedule differs so much from hers now.  he can show up to her place earlier and earlier, all the while she’s stuck performing tricks like a circus clown.

by the time the night of practice is over, sua’s walking to her car with a heavy sigh, pulling her phone out of her bag to see a text from hyun waiting.  it seems he’s already heading over her place, or there already.  she wouldn’t know just by the wording.

it’s something perhaps that she should have done a long time ago, but maybe it’s better late than never.  sending the code and climbing behind the wheel, she sends off one final text before she begins the journey back home.

@rksuas ( dated to early september )

it’s been a month since yuzu had moved but so far she hadn’t made much progress to feeling at home in this dorm. the constant awareness of 4- now 5 other girls around her she could potentially upset with just being herself keep her more quiet, more thoughtful, more avoidant of them solely out of fear for stepping onto anyone’s toes. 

now that she has not one but two roommates, the unwillingness of her brain to rest and just sleep was even greater and she wondered if she would ever call this place her home.

patting into the kitchen at the woo hours in the morning, she’s surprised to find sua there. how out of it was yuzu to not even have noticed the female missing from her bed. “hey eonni,” she greets the other sleepily, brushing her hair back casually. “what ya doin’ up?”

in a few more days, she’ll have the dorm completely to herself.  that doesn’t really mean that she’s thrilled about staying there alone  -  or that she’s thrilled about being here at all.  it’s hard to get comfortable in a place that feels too small and out of her element.  this place doesn’t feel like home; she doubts that it ever will.  being in a house with (  eventually  )  twelve other girls when she had an entire penthouse to herself feels a bit like someone is playing a really bad joke.

the discomfort has been making it hard to sleep.  maybe she’ll have to get her brother to buy her a good mattress at the very least, because this bed in the dorm is just not cutting it for her.

maybe yuzu is the same, because she seems to be padding out of their shared room  -  or maybe she just came out to get a drink or something.  sua doesn’t pretend to know what’s going on in that girl’s head.  “ i can’t sleep.” she says finally, straightening her body as she tilts her head.  “ i could ask the same for you, though.”

so you think you can dance?

her first heartz group evaluation doesn’t seem too difficult for her. at least, if she focuses on herself. with the fact that it was news by k.arma, a.k.a one of the bestest girl groups ever, mina already was confident in herself for getting the choreo down. with the fact that she only had to rap a few lines, she was confident that she had this evaluation in the bag. because on her own, kang mina could get through this.

but it was a group evaluation. and yes, though mina was at least acquainted with majority of the group, being friends with half of them, she still was intimidated by all of them. maybe chungha and yurim a litle less, given one is her roommate and the other is practically her equal in sphere. she’s managed to reach out to the people she knows at least a little bit more in order to help her out with the evaluation. but there was still some people she needed to go to for aid. specifically, someone she knew that could give her helpful advice.

while mina has not really talked to the other, she knew from second-hand experience (her brother on the same season of the mgas with her) that sua knew what she was talking about when it came to dancing. and yes, while mina is very much sure that she’s a better dancer than daniel, sua is her senior for a reason. and yes, while she admit that the aura the other gives is strong, she couldn’t help but be amazed by it. even watching her onscreen, all she could think about was how cool she was.

so, she uses all the courage she can to approach her in the practice room. “sunbaenim,” she says with a small smile. she’s aware she seems a little timid, but she couldn’t really help it. “could you help give me some tips on my dancing?” should she give an explanation. “it’s just that- i know you’re a really talented dancer and i want to make sure i do well for my first evaluation. so…”

the new sphere girls being introduced into the project later than the rest upon only the skills presented in their audition seems to have ruffled some feathers if what sua is hearing whispered on the grape vine is true.  it's a good thing that she set the idiots who messed with eunbi straight before they arrived, otherwise she might have had to have another stern talking to with them and this time, she probably would have been about ten times more cruel and scared more than just yoojung with her cold behaviour.

in saying that though, she still hasn't managed to greet or talk to them very much.  after all, the month is hard and they're all just trying to survive a war that sphere is putting them through  -  something she doesn't even want to experience, but here she is fighting the quote unquote " good fight ".  sua sighs a little as she practices through working on the choreography for the chosen song of the month; although it's not a song that she enjoys at the very least, she's the type to always put in the work.

the practice room is quiet as she works  -  aside from the notes of the song playing from the speakers in the corner.  she's far too focused to really notice one of the newer girls approaching her, keeping a close watch on her movements to be sure there's nothing unnecessary or inelegant about her dance.  even if it's not a choreography that really suits her tastes, sua at the very least wants to dance it properly.  she's a dancer, after all.  it'd make a mockery of the art form if she were to be lazy just because she didn't like it.

she stops though when a turn leads her face to face with mina.  even the way her body ceases to move is graceful in itself, and sua blinks slowly at the girl who seems slightly timid even approaching her.  maybe it's because she was dancing? then again, it's not like sua doesn't know how hard it is to approach her at times.  the request though, comes as a bit of a surprise  -  its not like sua didn't know that mina knew some of the others right off the bat.  if anyone, she was sure that the girl would probably ask chungha before her.  " ... i can." sua finally replies, running her fingers through her hair and pushing it back into place now that she's decided to stop practicing for a moment.  " though i have to see you dance first."

‧ ₊ ˚ ♡ NEEDED.

     heejin will admit it— throughout september, she hasn’t spent as much time with sua as she normally would, but her reasons are anything but malicious. from the moment the older woman was picked as the next girl to debut, heejin couldn’t have been any happier, couldn’t have been any more proud, to see sua get something she was so deserving of. heejin admired her for a lot of things, but her ability to preserver and work hard was something heejin thought incredibly highly of, and with that in mind, heejin had thought the older woman might want to double down on her debut preparations.

     so, heejin does her best not to seem like a bother, not wanting to take up too much time during something where suas attention was required. now that it’s the end of the month, heejin feels a bit lighter, happy to be at suas apartment after being away for a bit. she’s curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, head resting on the back cushion as she looked at sua. “what have debut preparations been like?”

                                                          ———— for you, @rksuas​ ♡

there's at least something that she dislikes about being a confirmed member of heartz  -  amongst all the uncertainty and the fury, they've basically stripped her away wholly from heejin.  either that, or heejin has just distanced herself from her and that's not something that sua is really pleased with either.  although the younger girl was more than happy about her confirmation for debut, sua at this point can't help but wonder what the distancing was about.  there was so much time this month where she was alone, left to rot in a dorm room that was quiet and unfamiliar.  in the end, she ended up at home more than she even slept in the dorm and it was supposed to be her first month in a brand new place.  heejin could have come over to spend just as much time as they could have together, considering the fact that sua supposes things will get harder now that she'll be filming in the coming weeks.

at least there's tonight, but sua doesn't plan on letting this lie.  she's not the type to swallow her unhappiness  -  not anymore, not with the people that she cares about.  she stands up and she fights, and that's where sphere was wrong about her.  she may be lying low for now, but there is no part of sua that has lost her venom.  " ... fine.  there's not much to say about it.  it's about the same level of annoyance that i expected."  sua sits gracefully next to the place heejin is curled up on the couch, frowning only slightly.  " there are more important things to talk about, anyway."  she turns her head to look at heejin, obvious disapproval in her eyes.  " do you want to explain to me why you barely even talked to me this month?"

TOO MANY ANGELS DYING NOW I’M GONNA CHANGE YOUR MIND

beautiful minds.

gahyeon can’t say she was surprised that sua was confirmed in heartz, especially so sooner. after all, the older girl was very clearly one of the more motherly members in the project thus far, it only made sense they had a level-headed one among them all. even those who wouldn’t end up debuting were similar enough, personality wise, that it was clear the group would be chaotic. they needed sua.

but gahyeon had to admit, she was a little sad to see the elder girl leave. it was odd, really - gahyeon hadn’t realized they’d grown close throughout the past month until it was clear sua was going to spend less time with them. gahyeon felt strange - it was almost like every time she began to get close to someone they were whisked away. she wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but she tried to ignore it for now. she wanted to be happy for the girls that were chosen, after all. because even though gahyeon wasn’t chosen, at least they were having a good day … right ?

on one of the few days sua was working with them, gahyeon turned to the older girl with a soft smile. “ how are preparations going ? ” she asks, voice careful. she hasn’t exactly been able to read how people were feeling about debut, so she’s sort of wants to dance around it. “ i’m sure it’s a little stressful, huh ? i hope everything’s going well, though. i’m sure it’s stressful, so suddenly - but i think you suit the concept really well. ” she points out with a soft smile. “ you’re going to do really well as the first girl of the unit, you know … i’m interested what it’s going to be like - you’re gonna do well. ” she hums.

practice with the girls left in the project feels a little bittersweet.  one more month of this, but there's no more wondering whether or not she'd make it in.  for six months of the heartz project, sua was certain that she'd be the only one who didn't have a spot in the debut lineup and to have that certainty ripped out like a rug from beneath her feet left her off balance and confused.  she's not really sure how she's supposed to react anymore and she's certainly not thrilled about being tied to a group in sphere of all places for the next foreseeable years to come.  she'd honestly been hoping not to make it and to say fuck you, i'm out as soon as her contract expired.  that much she promised hyun.

she could have never foreseen this happening.  not after what happened to her at the beginning of the year.  that's why part of her wishes that she was back in the project and suffering along with the other girls.  it's almost a pain in her gut, the overwhelming guilt that she feels washing over her as she shows up for a practice here and there to see the last of the girls in the project still aiming for their spot at debut.

gahyeon is no exception.  she still looks tired.  maybe if she had more time to convince gahyeon not to push herself too hard, she would have been a little less weary going into the future months too.  sua doesn't respond at first, keeping her expression neutral as she thinks.  "i guess they're not too bad."  she says finally, turning her head away to bend and tie her shoe a little tighter.  "i like the song a lot better than the ones that they gave to 1/3 at least.  it's more my taste."  sua pauses when gahyeon mentions that she suits the concept.  is that what this is about? fitting a mold? she has to hold herself back from clicking her tongue in annoyance, slowly righting herself and turning her attention back to the other girl.  "we'll have to see about that.  they still haven't told me what they've thought of my progress on the song."  after a small pause, she continues with a confession, "i like the song, even though the process is difficult.  hopefully you will, too when you hear it."

“thank you for coming to dinner with me unnie.” even though, eunji hadn’t really given sua much of a choice. it was still nice to thank her. and there were many reason’s why they needed to go out and celebrate. many reasons. one it was sua’s birthday, a good enough reason as any to go out and have some but. two, sua was also the girl of the month. eunji was happy for her, if not a little sad and frustrated but she wouldn’t let that ruin a good time. “order whatever you want, how much ever you want. it’s all on me.”

“that’s not all!” she wanted to get it done before the waitress returned to take their orders. “you don’t strike me as the kind of gal that’s into meaningless gifts. so i wracked my brain, which was hard because i don’t have any.” there a small chuckle and she picked up the gift bag she had beside her, handing it over to sua. “so! i found a craft shop and i made a cute little hand-made bracelet and…a small photo album of the pictures we’ve taken together so far. open it! tell me what you think!” 

@rksuas

it was a surprise to be invited out by eunji so suddenly, and it was clear that the younger girl wouldn’t really take no for an answer.  although there was a lot for her to think about, sua begrudgingly agreed  -  though truthfully, she probably wouldn’t have said no either way.  even apart from her own feelings and disappointments, eunji seems like she’s having a hard time behind the happy mask she’s putting on for her.  (  it wasn’t hard to see the way her world crashed down when her name wasn’t announced for the sixth time.  )  “ you don’t have to pay for everything.  i have a black card too, you know.”  sua says finally.

she’s flipping through the menu when eunji pipes up again, raising her brow quizzically as she looks at her.  “ you’re doing too much.” she sighs in defeat, taking the gift from her with the ghost of a smile. it’s true, though  -  in comparison to fancy gifts that her friends obviously can’t afford but try to just because she’s rich, she much prefers gifts like these.  “ thank you, though.  i mean it.”