oh you think you're soooo fucking smart. with your fucking convoluted pretentious sentences

yeah exactly it's exactly like that

I know things aren’t very Fergalicious right now dude but hang in there

i do not want to work. i want to kiss

love will always find you. Both threat AND promise

“but i don’t feel like i deserve it.” boo hoo. too fucking bad. Get loved idiot

i'm such a "goes home" girl. every time i go somewhere, i just can't wait to "go home" afterward!

never ever ever ever ever ever ever beating the sleepy allegations

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

the trick is be a good parent so they don’t wanna fight you. son if you topple my criminal empire how will i pay for your college? reverse batmanning

Weaponized guilt. Son you’re out on a school night? When you have that big science test tomorrow? I thought you’d be studying…getti g some rest…no I’m not mad I’m just. Well a little disappointed I guess. What do you mean this wouldn’t be happening if I’d stop robbing banks their insurance covers it son money isn’t real

Who’s this guy is he your “sidekick”? That’s so cute when are you having him over for dinner. I’m not teasing I think it’s sweet I’m glad you’re making friends. Side note how durable is he I’m about to throw a car at you

let me relax……………will comment later…………………..

Please reblog this so that I can get a bigger sample size, but DO NOT include anything in the tags about the results, as that could influence other responses

im not like other girls . im worse

me: I will do things when I am less tired

me: *never becomes less tired*

me: oh no

There should honestly be laws against removing headphone jacks from devices that play music. No more proprietary bullshit. I should not be forced to buy either bluetooth or a cheap dongle that feels like it's going to break if I so much as look at it funny in order to listen to music on my own device. I should be able to use WHATEVER headphones I want.

as much as i love public transportation my fellow usamericans have got to stop lying on the internet about how enjoyable it is because it is doing us no favors. we need investment in public transportation as it currently sucks so so much ass

‘it’s just trendy to hate on marvel’ no. marvel has done this to themselves. they overwork underpaid and non unionized vfx artists, they don’t allow actors to have access to the full scripts, they gloat about continuity but don’t have consistency, very few of the writers care even slightly about the characters or the source material, and they have gone for quantity over quality / are overproducing their product to the point of consumer exhaust. they are a multi billion dollar creative monopoly that should be held accountable

no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s