A sword that screams whenever you swing it, and the volume is directly tied with how fast its swung

Finally, a good post

do you ever wanna listen to music but every song is just not the right song

i love it when pets fall asleep on me because i can ask anyone to do anything for me sorry i can’t get up i have been chosen

Meanwhile, Trump’s inauguration was literally the most watched program in American history at 31.1 million viewers

The most watched program in American history at 115.2 million viewers was Super Bowl XLIX on February 1, 2015. And the only non-sporting event that made the top 20 of most watched broadcasts was at number 8 the M*A*S*H finale on February 28, 1983 with 105.9 million viewers. Trump’s inauguration wasn’t even the most viewed inauguration, that goes to President Reagan’s first inauguration with nearly 42 million viewers, the second most watched inauguration goes to President Obama’s first inauguration with 37 million viewers. So Trump’s inauguration was very far from “literally the most watched program in American history” as you put it.

But who needs facts in Trump America?

you would not believe your

fireflies

If ten million

eyes

fell asleep

“you only lick once!” -what a dog would say :)

Wrong. Dogs can lick many, many times and are acutely aware of this.

Um make your own post?

A dog would never say “yolo” or “you only lick once” because they can lick many, many times and are acutely aware of this.

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

the Mickey Mouse shorts are golden I don’t care who you are I’ve been laughing at this clip for days

HOW THE FUCK DID IT GOT THERE

The mom is so pissed

The mom is like I told yo stupid ass not to go over there but look what your stupid ass did

poor lil wobbly legs wanted to be a flower

how the frick are those noises even real

i found the original facebook post, here are some facts:

I found Zenyatta in TF2

“Gaze into the Iris”

“gaze into this bloody iris with yer’ good eye”

Bombyatta

do you ever hang out w/ someone and realize it’s not what you wanted to do and then you’re trapped for a few hours

Sitting there like 😊😊😊😊😊😒

When someone says these days sexism and misogyny don’t exist anymore show them this.