life on top of a horse

WHERE: Downtown WHEN: Friday, June 19th   WHO: Noah + open

@noahmcdowell

“Okay,” she quipped licking the salt off her fingers before taking a sip of the milk shake he’d surprised her with. “What do you need?”

The next woman that Noah brought home would without a doubt be in for an earful, but Emily believed them to deserve such a fate for being condescending to his daughter. “You are more than welcome to visit it as often as you like, but I doubt that me being there makes much of a difference.” Emily watched the girl hurry out of the room. She was already fond of the kid. She’d love the chance to show her around the museum and hear what she thought. 

She kept her hands on him a moment longer than needed as she steadied herself on her feet. She probably should go wash-up before breakfast, but that would take more effort than she had at the moment. “Don’t you dare. There are plenty of extracurricular that will challenge her. Let her stay with her peer group socially.” There were after all plenty of of ways to cure Autumn’s boredom with her school.  “Not the green smoothie I hope.” 

“Exactly, no. I want her to still live like a kid and have friends her age. Can you believe a ten-year-old girl in high school? It’s hard enough for teenagers.” Noah firmly believed it was the best option to keep her put there, he just worried she’d blame him ten years down the road for making a choice that delayed her success. “I’ve told her teacher I’m going to ask her, I’ve just been delaying it. But I think I’m gonna tell her what I think and let her choose if she wants to go up a few grades or stay put.” It seemed the best women in Noah’s life were always the smartest. One could think it’d make him feel dumb down, but it all only made him admire them even more.

“I’ll make you one later as long as you don’t brag about it or tell Noah.” She felt for the kid who had the entire world at her fingertips, yet probably had the world’s worst parental filter on her stuff knowing Noah. Whatever it was that he worried about, Em doubted that giving Autumn an email address on the museum’s domain would hurt. There were filters for whatever it was that he worried about her getting into. “Also you might want to use google translate as a work around to any blocked sites.” Probably shouldn’t be telling her that, but Noah was already mad at her. Rather than answer, Emily merely nodded. Whatever Noah wanted Autumn to know about their relationship, she was sure that he was more than capable of telling her. “Have you told them that pretty is a societal construct that relies heavily upon what is considered superior at any given time?” She snorted. “No, I’m a layabout. Of course I work. I’m the director of the History Museum.” 

Emily groaned as Noah entered the room, realizing that she would need to get out of bed. Even if they hadn’t been a couple in ages, there was something comforting in being in Noah’s bed. “She’s a smart one. You got lucky.” Em stretched, holding her hands above her to entreat him to help her up. “I feel like I was run over by a train and fell off somewhere in the dessert. Other than that just peachy.” She turned to him, feeling even more confused than when his daughter woke her. “I know nothing happened.” At least she trusted him. What might have happened before her memory left her is another story. 

Autumn beamed at Emily’s offer, nodding promptly. “I don’t but now I’ll tell them that.” She smiles smartly. “The Museum is so nice! I went on a school tour last year. I want daddy to take me, but he never does. Maybe he will now that he knows that you’re there.” Autumn had said before Noah stepped in, with a cheeky smile.

Emily’s shoulders sagged in relief that at least she was still in her own dimension. The only thing to worry about was that she couldn’t recall anything about last night nor how she ended up in Noah’s bed. He’d always been a gentleman, thus she knew that nothing happened between the two of them. He’d even been kind enough to leave her pain reliever and water without a second thought. “I’m an adult. I can handle myself.” Still she took the meds that he handed her, trying to avoid the skeptical look that came from Noah having to bring Emily into his home for whatever reason that it was. “I don’t need to bother you and Autumn.” At least she remembered the daughter’s name. Em knew that the kid would never have forgiven her if she’d forgotten it. 

Rather than getting up, Emily laid back down, right arm draped over her eyes with her left patting the spot next to her for Autumn to settle into. The sooner that the bed stilled the less nauseous Em was certain to feel. “She’s fine, Noah. I’ll shower when I don’t feel so dizzy. You go do what you need to.” She smiled at the girl. “Yes, he did. The problem arose from the fact that the poisoning from the gas had him functioning at a different cognitive level, so the handwriting looked foreign to him despite it being by his own hand. I can email you the podcast later if you want to listen to it.” At her question, Emily peaked over to look at her. “We used to date when we were in school. Now we are just friends. He’s not dating me. Nice to know you think so highly of the women he goes with though.” 

“I don’t have an email yet, my dad says that’s for grown-ups,” Autumn said with a little sigh because it made all the research saving harder. But the real reason was that Noah tried to keep her away from internet spam and creeps. As wise as the girl was she still was that—a young girl. “Ohhh. You were daddy’s high school girlfriend?” All of a sudden Autumn sounded way too curious about it all. “They just comment on my hair and how pretty I am, they never talk anything interesting.” Autumn shrugged, maybe because she was being raised by a man—who did do his best to give his daughter the girly stuff, it wasn’t too much on Autumn’s interest. She was more of a book kind of girl. “Do you work?”

“No offense to you, but you aren’t my kid, right?” The hangover caused everything to process more slowly in Emily’s mind until the ringing in her head stopped. For all she knew, she’d accidentally ended up in another dimension where she was married with a child having never left Asteria. She’d seen a Twilight Zone episode like that before, thus it was hardly out of the realm of possibility in the multiverse. “Noah there is nothing wrong with a hotel. You could have dumped me anywhere.” Her fingers rubbed at her temples, wishing for something to help with the pain. This was her punishment for over indulging in whatever it was that she had done last night. “Exactly. Not to mention that the gas can cause hallucinations. I read an interesting case study about a man who believed another to be inhabiting his home and leaving him notes to say nothing of the supernatural experiences many claim to have had in a house with leaks.” Emily refused to speak down to the girl no matter her age. A curious mind should always be nurtured. Hell, she’d even pull up the articles if Autumn wished to read them. Bleary eyed, Emily looked up at Noah noting that he had in fact shaved and was looking more like his old self. She felt a pang in her heart but chose to bury it. “And you don’t smell as much like horse. Did you shower?” 

“I don’t think so, lady.” The ten-year-old was a bit snappy, the mom subject was complicated among the McDowell. Autumn had lost her mother three years ago so obviously, it was still a touchy matter, but then again she didn’t hold grudges. Noah took note of how Emily was rubbing her temples and picked out a pill he had in the nightstand drawer, handing it over to her. “This will get you better. And I wouldn’t just dump you, don’t talk nonsense.” Oh, that carried so much meaning in between the lines… Their breakup still haunted and hurt him in many ways, even after almost twenty years, but he meant it. He couldn’t see a scenario where he’d dump her somewhere that it wasn’t safe for her to stay. He tried to explain so it didn’t feel too heavy, “I’m a father to a girl if you didn’t notice. I don’t think I could find it in me to leave any woman just out in a hotel with no direction.” He said it like that not to rat her out for being drunk, not in front of his daughter.

“Oh, yeah. Never hide children from people, even if it’ll mean you don’t get laid. Not such a good idea. Children might be sticky, but lying about having one is definitely more of a turnoff.” She sat in his car like a good girl, pretending to be something she wasn’t and reprimanding him for something that she wasn’t even offended about. The less she knew about people the easier leaving before the morning would be. … Not that she usually had trouble sneaking out, her heart was pretty cold and desensitized to things like that.

Noah was nice. A gentleman like Alex and Niko and all the other small town men that she knew. Not her type at all, but oh so cute. It was really a shame that she was who she was and would do what she would do at the end of the night. Men like him needed a plain Jane, someone who would offer them a white picket fence lifestyle and pop out kids left and right. That wasn’t her at all, she was a career woman who liked to have fun. She was just to be tamed and this date only had one way of ending. Paloma watched the buildings pass through the car’s window and then looked back at Noah. “Autumn is a nice name. What other secrets are you keeping?” She smiled.

Noah laughed at her conclusion that one shouldn’t hide children. He agreed to that immensely. “I don’t hide her, it’s just a third or fourth date type of thing.” He gave a shrug because it was easy for him to understand, somehow he felt a further explanation was necessary. “Women normally expect a lot when they come across a man with a kid, or so I’ve learned.” He wasn’t looking for commitment, not since Lily. And in some level he felt like Paloma would prefer that. When he looked at her, she seemed to him like a fierce soul. Which was what he liked about her, as it turned out.

“Daddy’s bed?” She rubbed her eyes, head aching as the girl demanded answers from Emily. She didn’t know who her daddy was. The only one that she could think of who had children were her brothers, and the girl on the bed certainly wasn’t her niece. Rubbing her temples, she sat up letting the blanket pool around her waist. “Who is your daddy?” She searched  the nightstand for a glass of water, voice horse from dehydration. The last thing that she needed to do was to spook the girl even more. The pounding of feet followed by the door flying open got Emily’s attention. She pointed to the man who somehow managed to look disheveled and more groomed than she’d seen him in a while. “Daddy?” She asked the girl, knowing that it was a stupid question. Then again Noah might have a roommate that Emily didn’t know about. “Not a girl. I’m a woman.” She rested her head on her knees. This was all too much to process when she felt like emptying her stomach on the floor and clawing her head open. Hearing bits of the conversation, she shook her head, regretting it instantly. “I could have taken the couch. But you should have left me at a hotel.” Emily glanced up at the child, wondering how Noah’s kid could be so curious when he was so content. “Yes, I was. My apartment has a gas leak. I’m not homeless.” 

“Yes, that’s my daddy,” Autumn told the woman like it was very obvious. The girl wondered if all adults were this slow when they woke up. She was always so energetic and eager to enjoy the day. She did respect the said friend of her father when she corrected her saying she was a woman. Indeed, the brunette was no girl. “I’d never leave you at a hotel, Emily.” Noah was short and polite, not meaning to get into the details of it all. “Gas leaks are very dangerous. Normally one can’t really smell the difference and they could easily pass out. But most time the worst situation it’s when someone switches a light. Did you know the spark can cause the entire place to explode?” Autumn ranted wisely like no ten-year-old ever did. She was often picked on at school because of it, but Noah always encouraged her wisdom. “She’s very bright,” Noah comments as to explain to Emily. “I sure am!” She frowns at her father then. “Daddy, you shaved.” He nods. “Mhmhmm... How did you sleep, Emily?”

“Oh, I know.” She said the words so casually that it would make anyone who heard them believe it. Noah was a gentleman through and through and she couldn’t figure out if all of the nice guys that life was throwing her way was some sort of blessing or punishment. Blessing because they all thought she would be a better person than she was, and punishment because they would all inevitably realize that she wasn’t going to change for any man and proceed to leave her. She wasn’t sure either way, but she offered Noah a sweet smile as he closed the passenger door for her. At least it would be fun figuring it out. “Cass likes me because she has to, it’s best friend protocol.” She winked at him and buckled in her seat belt.

“Don’t take it too far, Casanova, I have mace spray in this bag and am not afraid to use it.” She teased, though in all reality she had horrible aim and could probably hit her own face with it than any potential attacker. “Have you ever heard of Inuit throat singing?” She eyes Noah from her peripheral vision. “Not sure you’re ready for that.” A hand reached over and just turned on the radio, clicking on the first saved station because she figured it would be his favorite. Kidz bop started playing and she turned her head to him, raising an eyebrow. “You either have a child I don’t know about or you’re into things that I don’t want to know about.”

“Well, your argument is invalid if you think that she actually chose you as a best friend. That’s what I always say. My brothers and sister have to like me. But my best friend, they chose to like me. I give them kiddos for that actually.” He buckles up and off to they go.

@noahmcdowell || flashback

TW: death

“Charlie..”

“Charlie stop.”

“Charlie...you did everything you can but”

Hazel eyes looked up leveling with the doctor across from her. She swallowed hard and shook her head and backing up while simultaneously pulling off her medical gloves and throwing them.

“She’s gone.”

Lily was gone.

Lily was gone and Charlotte needed to face her brother and tell him that his wife and the love of his life was dead. Behind her a colleague said he could do it but she shook her head. This couldn’t be done by anyone else.

How many times has she done this? Half a dozen. A dozen. Notifications to family members never got easier. We did everything we could. I’m so sorry. Please take a seat. You don’t want to see them like that. Is there somebody I can call for you.

There were never the right words but she always did her best to dig deep and offer them the compassion she’d want if she was in her shoes and now in a way she was...Lily hasn’t only been Noah’s wife she had been her best friend.

Charlotte walked through the double doors and entered the hospital corridor. A million miles away sat her brother doubled over in the arm chair. Fore arms pressed to his knees. Head buried in his hands. She sat and stared at him for a long while before forcing herself to take a step forward.

“Noah,” she cleared her throat drawling all the strength she could. She’d seen war. Been in the middle of the battle field but this...this was a nightmare. “Let’s go in here.”

Here was a private area where the door could close behind them. Where she could face him alone.

This was his fault. In his mind, the words echoed, with Lily’s voice. “Honey, you’ve had too many beers. Let’s just get a cab or walk.” He’d insisted they’d never find a cab at this hour—hell, it was Fourth of July. They had had a great barbecue and enjoyed the day together. It was something that had been weighing on their marriage lately—couples time. With a kid like Autumn, who was clearly too smart and over skilled for her age, they always had a handful. Plus the extra hours Noah was putting into work so that they could possibly afford a better school or a tutor for her to develop all that brightness she carried. There was barely any time left for Noah and Lily themselves.

After circling Kings Park for almost a half an hour, Emily admitted that she had no idea just where she was staying. Texting a random string to her friend, she assured him that she had found somewhere else to stay for the evening. Something that he would never be able to decipher, but considering that she went to a bar while heartbroken, it was easy enough to believe that she’d gone home with someone else. They would figure it out. As Noah drove her to the place that he knew where she could spend the night, Emily fell asleep in the car. She was barely roused when he woke her to walk into the house, falling back asleep the moment that she was in the bed, not paying attention to Noah giving her something to sleep in or leaving the room. 

In the middle of the night, she managed to burrow into the blankets. The comfort of the familiar smell had her sleeping more peacefully that she had since coming back to Edens Town. Her head ached and she felt a bit of nausea whenever she moved, but she was comfortable- too comfortable to get up. There was little that could rouse her, but the bouncing on the bed made her feel like she was going to vomit. “Haven’t been called that for a while. Gimme five more minutes.” She muttered into the pillow, not ready to awaken just yet. Then when the blanket was pulled back, she hissed, trying to wrestle the blanket back from whoever stole it. With bleary eyes, she  tried to focus on the person when she scream. Seeing the little girl, Emily did the same no matter how much it made her head hurt. 

“What are you doing in my daddy’s bed?!” Autumn seemed appalled. Her big eyes still in utter shock. She had shushed after the woman screamed right back at her. She stopped to think—was she mad or something? As Noah came running in, still in pajamas, the little girl looked at him with judgy eyes. “Alright, I hear you two are up...” He mumbles quite charmingly trying to lighten up the mood. “Autumn darling, this is Emily, she’s an old friend of dads.” The girl’s eyes narrowed a bit at him and she gazed at Emily. “Daddy, you promised you wouldn’t bring any girls when I’m here!” After two years or so into Lily’s death, Noah brought up the fact he would end up dating someone and assured Autumn no woman would ever replace her mother—even if she ended up having a special bond with them. It calmed the young girl’s heart and worried about being forgotten for a new family—which he never would but kids worried. In the midst of that, Noah did promise he wouldn’t bring girlfriends that weren’t official when she was home. Ground rules were a thing in the McDowell’s. “Well, Autumn, like I told you, Emily is in fact a friend of dad’s. She used to go to high school with me and she had no place to go last night so I let her crash here. I even slept on the couch, you can check.”

“Change suits you.” She gave him another flirty wink even. Paloma always tried, in everything in life, and she wasn’t sure why she tried so hard to win over a man who she knew wouldn’t want her in his life after tonight. Not that she was opposed to the idea of being used by a handsome face like his, but still, she knew how the night would go just as she knew that he would lie and say that he would call her later. This simple fact of life had never upset her and it wouldn’t start to affect her now, and maybe never. She liked it this way best because when things really came down to it, no one knew how to handle someone that refused to be tamed. Paloma liked her fun and she liked them in the form of broad, strong, and handsome men of her picking. “Thanks, Captain America.”

She looped an arm around his and let her hand fall gently on his bicep, as she pulled him into the direction of the car. She pursed her lips and frowned a little at the mention of her house. Anyone could call it as it was because it really was a mansion, one that was much too big for the small woman to ever justify living in by herself. She was hardly ever there anyway. “Anything is better than staying here, trust me. Someone could murder me inside and no one would know for days.” Would anyone even notice? She’d hope that Cass would, at least her best friend. “So are you keeping it a surprise or are you just kidnapping me tonight? Not that I’m against the latter.”

“Well, thank ya.” He laughed at that little compliment and then the nickname that followed. “You’re real somethin’, you know.” With a slight shake of his head and an amused smile, Noah let her loop her arm around his and politely followed when she lead the way. Like a true gentleman though, once they were by the car, he made sure to open the door for her. It wasn’t no fancy ride, but it wasn’t also one of those old smelly trucks. I was still a truck but that he pride himself very much to not have his daughter Autumn complain about any horse smell on the ride to school. And he had given it an extra shine for the night rendezvous. Call it goofy, but Noah liked to make an impression and it had been a while he’d been on a date.

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