being greyromantic is so funny to me because well I am romance repulsed. Until I want a relationship with someone.

some people on here need a gentle reminder that arospecs ARE aromantic. thats the point of the aromantic spectrum. that being aromantic.. is a spectrum. ive had demiromantic people ask me if they can call themselves aromantic. YES OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU ARE AROMANTIC. im sure some people choose to identify more as arospec than aromantic and thats fine, but in general, arospecs ARE aromantic, by virtue of being on the aromantic spectrum. like aromanticism is defined as little to none romantic attraction. the ‘little’ part of that is there for a reason.

This is something of a sequel to my original essay on being loveless.

It's also a discussion of the ways love is wielded against allo-aros, the a-spec community's ongoing conflation of love and attraction, and the impact allosexual aromanticism has on my lovelessness.

Because too often, unfortunately, I see loveless aromantic identity communicated and celebrated so as to exclude me, and other allosexual aros, from it.

I hope that's something we can begin to change this Aro Week.

It's Aro-Spec Awareness Week again my friends, and that means it's time for more silly little critters! (You can find last year's here.) ✨Keep up the amazing work, fellow aros✨

aspecs: i've been thinking a lot lately about the "ace people can still have sex in a relationship/aro people can still be in romantic relationships" sentiment and the logistics of being aspec in relationships in general. obviously, the predominant sentiment is that you should be able to have a relationship where the other person will be happy without having sex/being romantic with you. if you feel comfortable sharing in tags/replies/reblogs/asks/whatever, though, i'd really like to hear people's experiences with sex/romance in relationships as an ace/aro person. have you found it generally possible to have a relationship with an allo person when you're ace and don't want to engage in sex? what are people's experiences being aro and being in relationships (labeled romantic or otherwise) with alloros? reblogging for reach is appreciated and any related experiences you feel comfortable sharing are completely welcome <2

like it's honestly kind of ridiculous at this point

my fourth-grade bestie: so, averagewhitegirlname is my girlfriend now! we-

my clueless ass, not aware of the aromantic spectrum's existence yet: wait, what????? but... you've only known each other for, like, half a day?????

my fourth-grade bestie: ...yeah? and?

my clueless ass, not aware of the aromantic spectrum's existence yet:

“There’s no platonic explanation for tha-“

here is the original comic i'm talking about

here is some stuff on relationship anarchy

here is a blog post that helped me (it's about sexual attraction but it resonated with me about romantic attraction too)

I get this isn't a very satisfying conclusion, but hopefully this helps someone😅also to add on, it's totally ok not to have a label or change as you figure out more about yourself! I think realizing I could be comfortable and happy being aro/ace really helped me decide

Aplatonics & loveless aros taught me that my aromanticism needs no justification, that I don't have to "make up" for not feeling romantic love by talking about how I feel other types of love.

Loveless aros taught me to consider what I actually mean when I say that I love something or someone, to find more ways of describing my feelings.

Aplatonics taught me to question the concept of friendship and what we associate with it, to think about what I truly want out of friendships, what different kinds of friendship I want in my life, where the line is between acquaintance and friend.

Loveless aros taught me to become aware of how much people are willing to excuse because it was "done out of love", how much focus we put on how people feel rather than what they do.

Aplatonic and loveless perspectives are important and valuable.

I'm late to the aro positivity party but thought I could shout out a manga I read this year, I Want to be a Wall!

It's about an aroace woman (who is really into BL) and a gay man being arranged into a marriage and how they navigate that, growing closer and kind of becoming a QPR.

The stuff that really got to me was the discussion of the woman's experience with her asexuality (and aromanticism though that isn't explicitly labeled), how it connects to her media tastes and the way people have hurt her in the past. It was all absolutely heartbreaking.

A fun detail I also like is how the pair act out romantic tropes (Gift of Magi style misunderstanding, paranoia about "cheating,"), but they are all done through a platonic context.

(Ex. Even though they're not in romantic love, he still feels upset at the idea of losing their bond, or her getting hurt by someone he doesn't know.)

There's not too many chapters of it out, unfortunately (only like two volumes), but the ones I read are very enjoyable and I'd love to put this on other people's radar!

I’m not sure when exactly this happened, but I think it’s clear that the aro community really is a community, now.

For the longest time I’ve felt like we were still in stasis, not quite there; a proto-community, yes, but not quite a community. But we have more history now to lean back on, more of each other to talk to and laugh with and cry with and learn from. More people that’ll go forward and make a part of modern aro history. More people that believe us, believe in us, will stand with us if we ask them.

I wouldn’t consider myself an aro elder yet, though each year I’m surprised at how long aromanticism has been a part of my life, how long I’ve been free of doubt or insecurity about my aromanticism, how far we’ve come since I was questioning. Then again, when I was questioning, some of the people I looked up to for guidance were probably close to the age I am now, so I might be there sooner than I think.

And, I’m so so hopeful for all aros, young or old, new or not, because we’ve come so far. Day by day, progress is slow (and yes, it’s unfair, it should be so much faster), but looking back it feels fast. We are our own role models, the people we look up to for guidance. We carve our own path through life, making things up as we go. I used to find that terrifying, because I had no idea what the future would bring. But it’s actually amazing, because I can ignore all these silly “rules” and guidelines about what my life should be, and instead ask, “what do I want my life to be?”

Younger me, you have no idea how awesome your future is gonna be. I’m sorry about the pain and hardship you’ll go through first; it won’t be fair and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. But you’ll make it through, and one day you’ll be me. I can’t wait for you to get here.

The aro community right now

[ID: The "I am going to create an environment that is so toxic" meme, showing Sue Sylvester from Glee. The caption reads: "I am going to create an aro community that is so supportive." End ID]

hi. i made some images.

feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required

How is it not surprising that all the people trying to drum up anti-aro discourse lately are all TERFS?

Reminder for everyone, never listen to or argue with TERFS. They suck, they won't change their minds, they just want to make people mad and make themselves look like victims. And they want to recruit people into their circles. Don't let them take up any real estate in your brain. Just block them and move on.

Obligatory reminder that the aphobe to TERF pipeline is real and used as a recruitment tactic

[Image Description: A version of the "always has been" astronaut meme, where one astronaut looks at the Earth and makes a startling realisation, captioned "wait, aphobia is TERF rhetoric?", while another astronaut, behind the first, holds a gun up to the first one, saying "always has been." End ID.]

I'm saying this now but if aro/ace discourse makes a comeback I am not going to take part in it. I don't care that I'm considered to be a popular blogger I'm not getting into discourse, I'm a person with friends and hobbies and I go outside every day. I could not give less of a shit

I encourage all of my followers to do the same. Don't waste your time on this shit, arguing with strangers online has never achieved anything. Block and move on. For the sake of your own sanity. The world is a beautiful place filled with wonder and I don't want you to waste your limited time on earth participating in fucking discourse. Please. Stay out of it. For me. For yourself.