I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

Their scientific name sounds like "Migrating Turd" but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don't know if I'd get a tattoo of one though. They're like the potato of American birds.

I have no actual animosity towards them. They’re fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I don’t know why I said any of that—I was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.

eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because i’d realized he was talking about my dad

the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun

yesterday was the ten year anniversary of my insensitive American Robin comment and my tattooed friend messaged me to celebrate the “funniest thing that had ever happened to him” so sometimes critically failing a charisma check leads to a whole decade of joy for someone else

Two vast and trunkless legs of stone...

Do other writers ever get this like, hyper-specific dialogue exchange drop into their brains and you know exactly where these character are standing and what they’re doing and how they’re saying these words but that’s all you get. You don’t have much other context and this specific moment that exists only at this time in your headspace??

I don't play gacha games, but I'm in online spaces which are adjacent to gacha fandoms, so every so often I'll pop open my notifications and see a thread where the comments are like "ooh, step on me, daddy", and the post to which those comments pertain is a drawing of a waifish anime boy being manhandled by a second waifish anime boy.

Bringing up my Tumblr dash and seeing somebody doing the "mommy? sorry – mommy? sorry – mommy?" meme in response to a picture of a dewy-eyed teenage girl who is, for no clear reason, wearing the parade uniform of the French 4th Hussar Regiment circa 1875.

and that girl's name? Charles Cousin-Montauban, Comte de Palikao

I seem to have accidentally wasted my lunch break on a quick Charles Cousin-Montaubaun-chan, so might as well post her.

She was a calvary officer, so she gets to have a riding crop.

Any similarity to any gacha character or persons, living or dead (with the exception of Charles Cousin-Montauban) is purely coincidental.

Yeah.

Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're being a huge fucking asshole about it so you can't reblog any of it

Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're saying you're a bad person if you don't reblog so you can't reblog any of it

Twink // Otter // Bear solidarity

This is exactly what the 90s would have been like with today’s internet

The three gods of Chaos meet up to party once more before the end of the human world.

The best part of this vid is the fact that they spent enough time out dancing in the streets for the sun to go down completely

It's true

@guiltiest-gear

yeah I'll post this on main

reminder that coming up with some fake little dudes and creating intricate storylines in your head is a completely free and fun way to pass the time and the government can't stop you

It will forever haunt me that I cannot share this joke with everyone I meet

I will be reblogging this every time it comes on my home page, thank you.

Incredible power move to make one of the most beloved crpgs ever made using a modified dnd 5e system, make a ton of money and shit on most AAA game studios in the process, then say “cool. Anyway fuck dnd 5e and wizzards of the coast. We’re doing our own thing now.”