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The year is 2030.

At the Cincinnati stop of her "world tour", Taylor Swift ends her set. As she walks off the stage, she leans into a nearby mic and says "oh by the way, I'm lesbian".

She's still milking a public relationship with a man named Chett Whitesman, so this is met with a combination of cheers and confusion. Immediately, the media mobilizes. They have to intercept her before she gets onto her private jet, and ambush her for an interview. Luckily, this has become much easier these days. Since the release of her 2027 album, "The Carbon Emissions of my Heart", T Swizzle has performed a ritual sacrifice of an endangered species on live camera every time she boards her jet, a #girlboss way of saying that her emotional pain can only be healed by the tortured screams of drowning polar bears.

(Since this practice started, a devoted faction of Swifties have started a carbon negative algae farming commune, with the express intent of negating taytay sweezie's contributions to climate change. Apparently "her tortured soul deserves to pollute without guilt". They haven't even come close to their goals.)

Taytor Twift is intercepted after this ritual, as she's walking up the steps of her plane. When asked what the lesbian statement was about, she nonchalantly says "oh, I thought it was clear that was a joke. Anyways, G T G!" , before biting into the still beating heart of an emperor penguin.

During her flight, discourse on the newly renamed twitter-X-ElonIsExtremelyVirile Corp goes nuclear like it never has been before.

There's a camp of swifties thoroughly convinced that her relationship with Chett is all a beard so that she can still keep touring in the New Christian Republic of Florida, and the interview at the plane was deepfaked.

A different camp of Swifties feels insulted and betrayed that she would be anything less than a paragon of allyship. To them, this is the worst slight the queer community has ever experienced.

A third camp of Swifties insists that she *is* dating Chett, and is also a lesbian. They get insulted that anyone would police Taylor's labels. Comparisons to the Boulder, Colorado shooter are made.

A group of non Swifties tries to point out that everyone is fucking insane and that 'ole taytay regularly tear gases pride rallies to make way for her promenade to stadium venues, and who the fuck cares about this shit and point out that what a billionaire celebrity does for five minutes of PR is not worth your attention or discourse, nor does it warrant harassing other people for the labels *they* use, and isn't it really fucked up that Taylor is making a joke of how people describe their identities? They are promptly doxxed, harassed, and banned.

Bi lesbian discourse is off the charts. Nothing Taylor said has anything to do with it, but it happens anyways.

A lone transsexual who actually goes outside once in a while tweets "hey guys isn't it kinda fucked up that 2.4 billion people have been displaced by mega storms this year that her jet contributes to and is also specifically designed to fly over" and is promptly doxxed and harassed off the platform.

After an exhausting 9 minute plane ride, Tailing Swiffer lands in Columbus for the next performance of her world tour. She unveils a new single that contains the line "ride my horse after dumping him, stepping up onto my SAD dle".

All is forgotten. All is quiet. The Swifties continue as usual, moving on to the next discourse about these lyrics.

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Closest match: Sepiola atlantica genome assembly, chromosome: 27 Common name: Atlantic Bobtail

(image source)

"this is the destiel website! this is the destiel website!"

Tumblr Top Ships Bracket - FINALS

This poll is a celebration of fandom and fandom history; we're aware that there are certain issues with many of the listed pairings and sources, but they are a part of that history. Please do not take this as an endorsement, and refrain from harassment.

[image description: the first image is of Dean Winchester and Castiel. Dean is kneeling on the ground and looking back at Castiel standing behind him.

The second is of Suletta Mercury and Miorine Rembran. Suletta is lying on the ground and looking taken aback while Miorine crouches over her and looks angrily over her shoulder.

The third is an edited image of Char Aznable. He’s smiling and raising a hand to call out to someone. The subtitle is edited to say, “Destiel if you can hear me, blame this on the misfortune of your birth!”

End description]

Is trail mix not the most stressful food in the world. It turns you into a nuclear shelter survivor rationing food so your last bite has some of the good stuff in it

Saving your last can of peaches right next to the gun with one bullet. Licking your lips in anticipation and fear. Looking forward to the day you can finally taste them and be free. This is exactly what's happening between me and the 2 shards of pecan at the bottom of the bag

my brother was making fun of me and our other brother for having the same haircut, and we were immediately like "what the fuck are you talking about? you had this EXACT SAME haircut like a year ago. this is your haircut too. jackass." so we start arguing back and forth until our mom stops us and says "come here." and she brings out her ID from when she was a teenager and... its the same haircut.

Family curse that makes it so at least one person per generation has a mullet at any given time

do you remember on tumblr when you could do inspect element on an audio post and it would have the mp3 file with text that said "please don't download this or our lawyers won't let us host audio"

Some day I want to see a show that does the “no filler episodes” thing from the opposite direction. Just a whole season worth of low-stakes character pieces that seem to move the overall story absolutely nowhere, then episode 26 pulls all the triggers at once and this massive Rube Goldberg machine of a plot the show’s been quietly setting up in the background the whole time hits you like a truck.

Incredible one-liners as always

Every post on reddit is like “my wife left me, so i spent 100000 on a new man cave” and there’s always a storm trooper of some kind in the room. Ive seen this happen so often on reddit that now i associate storm troopers and the entire star wars universe with divorce.

may divorce be with you

ah the gender euphoria of dying gruesomely at sea

OK but I do genuinely believe we need to push for something like this before it's too late - and not just in digital spaces. We should have the right to peace and quiet from advertising. There should be more limits on how much and where we get advertising because otherwise it'll just become a creep of more and more until every fucking public space is lit with several billboards blasting us with ads, and the walls between spaces lined with ads, and our commutes filled with ads, and local parks sponsored by corporations to offset the cost of local councils, and so on and on and on and on. No. I need quiet. I need spaces where ads cannot touch me.

if i wanted to forcefem the yellow m and m it wouldnt even be that hard i don t tbink

If you forcefem that little man then I'll tell you right now that peanut isn't gonna be the only nut in her after im done

you are the second person on this post to confess to wanting to have sex with a forcibly feminized m and m

What the fuck is wrong with you people? There are three female m&ms at this point. When will your hyper-feminist agenda be satisfied? What if I decided I was going to forcemasc the green m&m? Then you would all cry misogyny. Do not try to deny it.

Let's make a deal. For every m&m you hypothetically forcefem, I will hypothetically turn one male, starting with the green one as green is my favorite color and because I believe HE would make the most fuckable femboy with his heels on.

i want very badly to respond to this addition but unfortunately your dni prevents me from doing so

"What the fuck is wrong with you people" asks the most unhinged person on this post.

Hold on can someone get this to 10k notes, I have a bit I want to do.

Isn’t this dude the one who wished his aunt would miscarry and then showed up to the family dinner he got uninvited to with a sword

Yeah he’s reddit famous. I can’t believe I found him in the wild.

real quick, I have an addition

if i wanted to forcefem the yellow m and m it wouldnt even be that hard i don t tbink

If you forcefem that little man then I'll tell you right now that peanut isn't gonna be the only nut in her after im done

you are the second person on this post to confess to wanting to have sex with a forcibly feminized m and m

What the fuck is wrong with you people? There are three female m&ms at this point. When will your hyper-feminist agenda be satisfied? What if I decided I was going to forcemasc the green m&m? Then you would all cry misogyny. Do not try to deny it.

Let's make a deal. For every m&m you hypothetically forcefem, I will hypothetically turn one male, starting with the green one as green is my favorite color and because I believe HE would make the most fuckable femboy with his heels on.

i want very badly to respond to this addition but unfortunately your dni prevents me from doing so

"What the fuck is wrong with you people" asks the most unhinged person on this post.

Hold on can someone get this to 10k notes, I have a bit I want to do.

Isn’t this dude the one who wished his aunt would miscarry and then showed up to the family dinner he got uninvited to with a sword

Yeah he’s reddit famous. I can’t believe I found him in the wild.

real quick, I have an addition

depiction is not the same as glorification and I need people to get that 

depiction from the POV of a character who thinks it’s okay is still not glorification

But…. But the Hayes Code clearly states…

Leathers and furs are 1000% more environmentally friendly than any petrochemical fabric lmfao.

wool tho, wool is murder. did u know they get these big strong lesbians to manhandle the sheep while theyre being sheared? pisses me off. that should be me!!! i should be getting manhandled by big strong lesbians!!!! boycotting wool until this is addressed tbh

My mother worked in a shearing shed and I wish she wasn’t homophobic, to show her this reblog.

i could fix her.