There's also this idea that while of course kink is Wrong and Icky and means you're Damaged, submissive urges must mean that they're some poor abuse victim trying to recover from trauma and dominant urges mean that they're an abuser looking for an excuse. (Some people do use kink to process trauma, but people use all kinds of behaviours to process all kinds of things. That shouldn't be like, the assumption, and shouldn't be expected to carry moral weight.) It's not acceptable to express dominant desires because the only acceptable form of that kink is as a slightly reluctant therapist for helping your beloved process their trauma.
There's a Childish Gambino routine I can't seem to locate where he says something along the lines of "if you meet a woman who likes being choked during sex, well sure, she's been abused. But if you meet a man who likes choking women?!?!" And that basically sums up the public perception I think. Subs or bottoms (the public perception treats them both as the same thing, or at least acts like they're coincident enough that any other match is some weird edge case) are women or small gay men who have been kicked around and are trying to heal, doms or tops are predatory men looking for an excuse to hurt someone.