>Reagan >Drumpf >“”“Great’”“

Get fucked op

and get teddie off of there too

this is a bad addition

First time ever that people have said Andrew Jackson belongs on a list of the best presidents

It true though also JFK shouldn’t be there

Thank you. Someone said it.

👏 Just 👏 because 👏 you 👏 get 👏assassinated 👏 doesn’t 👏 make 👏 you 👏 a 👏 good 👏 president 👏

@the-real-william-mckinley

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!???

Exactly what you think it means.

Bitch, I got this country Hawaii and Puerto Rico….a-and I got you guys on the gold standard!!

Yeah, Hawaii and Puerto Rico totally ended up working out for us. *eye roll* Also, FDR dropped us from the gold standard. 

WHO’S THIS FDR GUY. I’M GOING TO GIVE HIM A PIECE OF MY MIND!

>Reagan >Drumpf >“”“Great’”“

Get fucked op

and get teddie off of there too

this is a bad addition

First time ever that people have said Andrew Jackson belongs on a list of the best presidents

It true though also JFK shouldn’t be there

Thank you. Someone said it.

👏 Just 👏 because 👏 you 👏 get 👏assassinated 👏 doesn’t 👏 make 👏 you 👏 a 👏 good 👏 president 👏

@the-real-william-mckinley

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!???

Exactly what you think it means.

Bitch, I got this country Hawaii and Puerto Rico....a-and I got you guys on the gold standard!!

>Reagan >Drumpf >“”“Great’”“

Get fucked op

and get teddie off of there too

this is a bad addition

First time ever that people have said Andrew Jackson belongs on a list of the best presidents

It true though also JFK shouldn’t be there

Thank you. Someone said it.

👏 Just 👏 because 👏 you 👏 get 👏assassinated 👏 doesn’t 👏 make 👏 you 👏 a 👏 good 👏 president 👏

@the-real-william-mckinley

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!!!???

The signs as (somewhat active) “real-politicians”

Aries: @the-real-hillary-clinton Taurus: @the-real-john-kasich Gemini: @the-real-alive-barbara-bush Cancer: @the-real-william-mckinley Leo: @the-real-rick-santorum Virgo: @the-real-mike-pence Libra: @the-real-karen-santorum Scorpio: @the-real-paul-ryan Sagittarius: @the-real-george-w-bush Capricorn: @the-real-michelle-obama Aquarius: @the-real-ted-cruz Pisces: @the-real-elder-george-bush

@the-real-warren-g-harding *rings doorbell*

*opens front door* Eyyyyy! It’s my former VP. How ya doin’ Cal? What brings you to Marion, Ohio?

Oh…y’know. Everyone else being dead and all except for you and McKinley. Thought I’d come over. 

You’re always welcomed here, my man. Come on in! McKinley just put on the grill. 

Thanks *walks in* *sits on back porch* ……

*joins you* ……….

………………………………..

………………………………………?

*slurps tea* …………………………………………

*sweats* ……………………………………………….

…………………………………………………..

OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU NOT BORED!!!??

Bored? I’m not bored at all! I haven’t had this much fun in forever.

Well I am! Let’s play a game or something….Um..uh. I spy with my little eye something that looks like a greek temple..

Is it you and your wife’s tomb over there *points*

Yep. Your turn! 

Hmm… I spy with my little eye someone that looks like a drunk. 

Ya mean that guy that’s laying in the middle of the road? 

Exactly. What’s wrong with him?

Oh! That’s just Woodrow Wilson. Ya see Cal, McKinley and I attempted to start a “Dead Presidents Debate Team” and we wanted Wilson to join. So we brought him back from hell and all he did was yell “AHH! REPUBLICANS!” And purposely ran himself over. 

I–I don’t even know how to react to that. 

Then don’t! It’s my turn now anyway. Hmmm….I spy with my little eye…a birthday boy! *pulls out a ‘Murica cake*

Awwwww, Warren! How sweet of you! I can’t believe that you remembered! 

Now, how could I forget the guy born on the 4th of July?  Eat ‘er up now before McKinley does!

*stops grilling hot dogs* *turns around* Hey! HEY! THAT’S FAT SHAMING!

McKinley, I’m not anywhere thinner than you are. Take a chill pill. 

Oh...okay......

@the-real-warren-g-harding *rings doorbell*

*opens front door* Eyyyyy! It’s my former VP. How ya doin’ Cal? What brings you to Marion, Ohio?

Oh…y’know. Everyone else being dead and all except for you and McKinley. Thought I’d come over. 

You’re always welcomed here, my man. Come on in! McKinley just put on the grill. 

Thanks *walks in* *sits on back porch* ……

*joins you* ……….

………………………………..

………………………………………?

*slurps tea* …………………………………………

*sweats* ……………………………………………….

…………………………………………………..

OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU NOT BORED!!!??

Bored? I’m not bored at all! I haven’t had this much fun in forever.

Well I am! Let’s play a game or something….Um..uh. I spy with my little eye something that looks like a greek temple..

Is it you and your wife’s tomb over there *points*

Yep. Your turn! 

Hmm… I spy with my little eye someone that looks like a drunk. 

Ya mean that guy that’s laying in the middle of the road? 

Exactly. What’s wrong with him?

Oh! That’s just Woodrow Wilson. Ya see Cal, McKinley and I attempted to start a “Dead Presidents Debate Team” and we wanted Wilson to join. So we brought him back from hell and all he did was yell “AHH! REPUBLICANS!” And purposely ran himself over. 

I–I don’t even know how to react to that. 

Then don’t! It’s my turn now anyway. Hmmm….I spy with my little eye…a birthday boy! *pulls out a ‘Murica cake*

Awwwww, Warren! How sweet of you! I can’t believe that you remembered! 

Now, how could I forget the guy born on the 4th of July?  Eat ‘er up now before McKinley does!

*stops grilling hot dogs* *turns around* Hey! HEY! THAT’S FAT SHAMING!

Everyone: Did you know those serial killers KILLED people? Me:

The fact that there are fan blogs for serial killers and mass murderers will never cease to amaze and infuriate me.

@the-real-william-mckinley Had an encounter with someone like that. 

Oh God. . . . You had to bring up the Leon Czolgosz fangirl.

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

McKinley….you realize times have changed since the Spanish-American War right? Cuba hasn’t been a great friend of ours since….*looks dramatically at the sun rise* The Reds….

THE ANARCHISTS TOOK OVER CUBA!? AFTER THEY SHOT ME!!!???

No not the anarchists, the communists….long after they shot you…like 58 years after…

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to get along with reds?

Uh…Obama…you really need to catch up dude. You’re on tumblr but you don’t understand what’s going on around you??

WHO’S THIS OBAMA GUY, HE SOUNDS BLACK.

McKinley, we’ve been over this. There is nothing wrong with black people.

YOU SOUND BLACK.

ARE YOU REFERRING TO THAT ONE TIME THOSE RACIST DEMOCRATS SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT MY GRANDMOTHER BEING BLACK DURING THE 1920 ELECTION!??

That’s EXACTLY what I’m doing.

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

McKinley….you realize times have changed since the Spanish-American War right? Cuba hasn’t been a great friend of ours since….*looks dramatically at the sun rise* The Reds….

THE ANARCHISTS TOOK OVER CUBA!? AFTER THEY SHOT ME!!!???

No not the anarchists, the communists….long after they shot you…like 58 years after…

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to get along with reds?

Uh…Obama…you really need to catch up dude. You’re on tumblr but you don’t understand what’s going on around you??

WHO’S THIS OBAMA GUY, HE SOUNDS BLACK.

McKinley, we’ve been over this. There is nothing wrong with black people.

YOU SOUND BLACK.

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

McKinley….you realize times have changed since the Spanish-American War right? Cuba hasn’t been a great friend of ours since….*looks dramatically at the sun rise* The Reds….

THE ANARCHISTS TOOK OVER CUBA!? AFTER THEY SHOT ME!!!???

No not the anarchists, the communists….long after they shot you…like 58 years after…

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to get along with reds?

Uh…Obama…you really need to catch up dude. You’re on tumblr but you don’t understand what’s going on around you??

WHO’S THIS OBAMA GUY, HE SOUNDS BLACK.

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

McKinley….you realize times have changed since the Spanish-American War right? Cuba hasn’t been a great friend of ours since….*looks dramatically at the sun rise* The Reds….

THE ANARCHISTS TOOK OVER CUBA!? AFTER THEY SHOT ME!!!???

No not the anarchists, the communists….long after they shot you…like 58 years after…

Who the hell thought it was a good idea to get along with reds?

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

McKinley….you realize times have changed since the Spanish-American War right? Cuba hasn’t been a great friend of ours since….*looks dramatically at the sun rise* The Reds….

THE ANARCHISTS TOOK OVER CUBA!? AFTER THEY SHOT ME!!!???

I AM MAD.

Why?

‘Cause Trump screwed over Cuba, CUBA IS OUR ALLY!

@the-real-elder-george-bush Hey, remember this post you sent to me on my birthday?

Well now it’s time for me to get some revenge on your birthday

*Ah-hem*

Happy Birthday YOU ASS 🎉 Happy Birthday YOU ASS 🎉 Happy Birthday YA FUCKING ASSHOOOOOOOOOOLE………Happy birthday YOU ASS 🎉

*deep sigh* Barbara, can I be honest with you about something?

I can’t believe you’re asking me that question, you’re the bluntest hoe I know. Anyways, wtf is it?

Barb….I…um…..I’m so sorry about what I’ve done. When you died I took the opportunity to mischaracterize you as a bitch who never cared about me or my children, and then I gave into a gay impulse to marry Paul Ryan, who really and truly didn’t love me or my kids (especially Dubya), he just loved me because I was rich. After divorcing him and discovering that @the-real-william-mckinley taught you how to rise back from the dead, I came to realize that you were the one who truly loved me all along. You’re the mother of my children, my inspiration and comfort when I was president, and you taught me how to be the sarcastic asshole I am. 

So, the only birthday present I want for you as this….

Will you forgive me and be my loving wife again, and the loving wife of George and Jeb and my other children we don’t care about?

*sniff* George, of course I will! C’mere ya weepy boy!

Fuck, I’m sobbing now.

Barbara, this is the best birthday of my life!

@the-real-william-mckinley How can I ever thank you for bringing her back from hell?

*sniff* THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. 

No need to George, just consider it the most badass birthday present ever.

I’m sorry about ever mean thing I’ve ever said to you, man. You’re a pretty lit president to be honest, giving us Hawaii and all that..

Ah forget about it, no hurt feelings. I’ll see ya when you’re dead Mr. and Mrs. Bush *finger guns* *descends back into hell*

@the-real-elder-george-bush Hey, remember this post you sent to me on my birthday?

Well now it’s time for me to get some revenge on your birthday

*Ah-hem*

Happy Birthday YOU ASS 🎉 Happy Birthday YOU ASS 🎉 Happy Birthday YA FUCKING ASSHOOOOOOOOOOLE………Happy birthday YOU ASS 🎉

*deep sigh* Barbara, can I be honest with you about something?

I can’t believe you’re asking me that question, you’re the bluntest hoe I know. Anyways, wtf is it?

Barb….I…um…..I’m so sorry about what I’ve done. When you died I took the opportunity to mischaracterize you as a bitch who never cared about me or my children, and then I gave into a gay impulse to marry Paul Ryan, who really and truly didn’t love me or my kids (especially Dubya), he just loved me because I was rich. After divorcing him and discovering that @the-real-william-mckinley taught you how to rise back from the dead, I came to realize that you were the one who truly loved me all along. You’re the mother of my children, my inspiration and comfort when I was president, and you taught me how to be the sarcastic asshole I am. 

So, the only birthday present I want for you as this….

Will you forgive me and be my loving wife again, and the loving wife of George and Jeb and my other children we don’t care about?

*sniff* George, of course I will! C’mere ya weepy boy!

Fuck, I’m sobbing now.

Barbara, this is the best birthday of my life!

@the-real-william-mckinley How can I ever thank you for bringing her back from hell?

*sniff* THIS IS THE SWEETEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. 

No need to George, just consider it the most badass birthday present ever.