Dating Rodrick Heffley would include...
Dating Rodrick Heffley would include…
-As soon as Rodrick lays his eyes on you, he knows that somehow, he’s gotta get a date with you.
-All of his band buddies are like, “dude no way.”
-And he’s just like, “watch me.”
-His first attempt to ask you out did not go so well.
-He walked up to you and opened his mouth…
-He’d never been great with words, and in that moment, there weren’t any
-And you had to get to class, so…
-Every moment after that, he would already be planning his redemption.
-He wrote a note and taped it to your locker.
-But apparently, he didn’t remember where your locker was and…
-Attempt number three went slightly better.
-He had just been given a pep talk
-So he walked up to you, a little skip in his step and leaned against the locker next to yours with this casual sort of grin.
-And he just says, “hey babe, my play’s banding tonight.”
-And you’re kind of confused for a second, but you understand what he was trying to say.
-“When is your band playing?”
-“Oh! Uh, in Jimmy’s garage. I can…I can give you the address if you want to swing by…or something.”
-Then the bell rings and you head off to class and he just stands there smiling and stunned.
-At the concert, he can’t stop looking at you, even though a decent crowd turned up.
-After, he pretty much races over to you.
-“Did you like my guitar solo?”
-“Yeah, it was really cool, Rodrick. I’ll, uh, see you at school, right?”
-“Wait! I was wondering if maybe you wanted to like see a movie or something? You know, maybe on the weekend or whatever.”
-You bit your lip and pretended to think.
-And even then, after he’s finally victorious, he doesn’t believe he managed to score a date with a chick as pretty as you.
-He swears to himself that he will not screw this up.
-The date goes well, and the two of you kiss in the photo booth
-That way, Rodrick has photo evidence that it happened to show it off to all of his bros.
-Greg is pretty sure it’s photo-shopped.
-There’s no way his idiot brother scored a date with a girl that pretty.
-But sure enough, she turns up for dinner later that week
-And Greg can’t stop looking at you two in disbelief.
-His parents are thrilled, honestly
-Your grades are stellar, you want to go into law or medicine, and you have a really promising future ahead of you
-It should be impossible and yet, there you are
-And you’re really good with Manny too.
-You know how to talk to Greg and you willingly play video games with him and Rodrick.
-As far as the Heffleys are concerned, you’re perfect.
-They know one thing for certain.
-Rodrick better not screw this up.
