Prince Philip is the most badass prince EVER. And here's why.

Okay, so he’s got a girly face, and he wears tights and some high boots. Sure.

But check out that noble steed. That’s one ready-to-kick-ass-and-take-names steed.

While other princesses just run away and leave nothing, Philip gets AN INVITE TO HER HOUSE. He gets a song, a dance, and a first date.

He comes home, just to tell his dad he’s not going to marry the princess because he’s in love.

No. Other. Reason. He rides in and is just like, “I met the girl I’m going to marry. Now I’ve got a birthday party to be at. Bye Dad.”

Now how much do you think his dad weighs? That short fat little man? Probably pretty heavy.Not a problem for Prince Philip.

And then he gets jumped by goblins, both hands tied behind his back

But that’s not enough to stop Prince Philip.Oh no.

He breaks his hands free and starts chucking goblins.

Look at that face. That face. The “BITCH JUST YOU WAIT” face. He may be tied down by a dozen goblins but he’s not gonna take no shit from this witch.

In fact, he’s so strong, she ends up keeping him chained to the wall, but he still fights back.

Now when he finally does get free–

He’s ready to go into battle UNARMED. He don’t need no shield or sword, he’s going to go punch Maleficent’s face in with his fist. If Flora didn’t stop him, he probably would have, too.

Backed up against a cliff edge, nowhere to go. Fighting off goblins. But there’s so many and just one Philip.

NBD I’LL JUST JUMP AND SLIDE DOWN THE ROCK PILE IN MY SKIN-TIGHT TIGHTS.

Gate closing?

who gives a fuck? certainly not prince philip.

Lighting hitting rocks around me?

NBD BRO

Giant forest of thorns?

Bitch, get out of my way. I’ve got a princess to save.

Giant dragon of hell?

CHARGE HEAD ON.

Fire? Dragon? Burning dry twigs? No. Fucking. Problem.

Just smack that bitch on the nose.

Sheer cliff face? Fire burning behind me? Back to a wall?

Calm down guys, I got this.

I’LL JUST FUCKING SCALE IT ONE-HANDED.

And fight the bloody beast from 500 feet high, with literally nothing to save me if I fall.

Lose the shield off the cliff?

JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE ‘CAUSE I’VE GOT A FUCKING MAGIC SWORD THAT’S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEART BITCH.

Just chuck it. Straight through.

Then jump out of the way…

And survive. That’s what happens to bitches who mess with the woman I love.

Get the horse.

Get the girl.

EXPLAIN NOTHING.

that’s how he EARNED his happily ever after.

Srsly. The most bad. ass. prince. disney ever wrote.

I 1,000% never thought of it from this point of view before and am now screaming Too Hot, Hot Damn, Made that dragon wanna retire man.

“EXPLAIN NOTHING”

Learn the alphabet with Sebastian Stan!

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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

DYING. I AM DYING.

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

This post has evolved.

Bucky: Serum enhances everything, right?

Steve: Yup.

Bucky: So did it make you intelligent, or…

Bucky: Make you even more stupid?

twitter canceled

It becomes a pattern in the aftermath. 

Bruce has set up a makeshift lab in Wakanda, while the world takes stock of their dead and Wakanda mourns for their king. Bruce isn’t doing anything important, but he needs to do something, so he studies Wakanda’s vibranium supply and attempts to keep Shuri busy. 

Otherwise, the grief might just be too much for the both of them to bear. 

Bruce also tries very hard not to think about Tony and what form of matter Tony may or may not be at this very moment. He’s only moderately successful. 

It’s on the third day of the second week after half of the world has turned to ash that Thor brings Bruce a little green snake. Bruce is baffled, but he tried to be polite about it. Bruce is heartsick, though, so that makes everything a little harder. 

Then Thor asks for Bruce to see if the snake is Loki, and it takes every bit of willpower Bruce Banner poses to not burst into tears. Thor is so strong and so keen to smile, he makes it so easy for everyone to forget that he has lost nearly everything. 

Bruce pokes at the snake without any further complaints. When nothing happens, the grief on Thor’s face is unimaginable. 

Bruce begins spending time with both Thor and Shuri, in a desperate attempt to combat his own grief by combatting theirs. 

All the while, every second or third day, Thor brings Bruce a small green animal and asks Bruce to see if it his lost brother. Bruce checks every time, with care and precision, but the result is always negative. It’s awful for both of them, but Thor can’t seem to stop and Bruce doesn’t know how to make him. 

This pattern holds for a few weeks, until Thor brings Bruce a beaten and battered lizard. It’d been burned somehow and it looked like one of its limbs had been badly broken. When Thor presents it to him, Bruce honestly isn’t sure if Thor had just brought the little thing to Bruce to see if it could be saved. 

“Could you check?” Thor asks, the question quiet and hurt after so many weeks of negative results from Bruce’s prodding and poking. 

“Of course,” Bruce says softly, adding his portion of the call and response. 

He gingerly picks up the lizard, as the poor also looks like he’d been through the wringer, and gives him a quick once over. Bruce’d been right about the broken leg and the burns were pretty –

The lizard fucking turns into Loki. A damaged, burnt Loki who scuttles backward on a broken leg while spitting blood. 

Thor bursts into tears. Bruce bursts out laughing. Everyone has their own way of processing grief and shock and grief turned into shock, apparently. 

It’s later, when they’ve gotten Loki a little patched up, convinced Okoye not to kill Loki (”He tried to destroy the world!” she says – “He’s gotten better,” Bruce says), and Thor’s eyes were mostly dry, that Loki finally says through clenched, bloodied teeth: 

“They’re in a pocket dimension.”

“Who?” Bruce whispers, stunned. 

“Everyone. I told him he’d never be a god. He was just a warlord playing at being something powerful. He should’ve fucking listened.”

JUST THIS ONCE, ROSE, EVERYBODY LIVES

wOW CAN YOU WRITE THE SCRIPT TO AVENGERS 4

omfg the tears

found a new fucking favorite song right here

Evening made

2 seconds in and I reblogged.

its about time tumblr found this

say what you want, but this shit was better than the scene in legally blonde when elle wins her case

elle and jake wouldn’t make it a competition, they’d want us to appreciate the other for doing a darn good job.

i support all women in jail who killed their abusive boyfriend/husband.

#they all have this dramatic entrance  #and then theres bruce

I had to pause the damn movie cause i was laughing so hard at bruce like holy fuck

this is stomp dog it shows up to stomp away sadness

@bucky-plums-barnes

Everyone in Infinity Wars gonna be complaining about how hard these last few years have been for them until Thor rolls up with no hair, no hammer, and one eye. 

#“also my dad died”

Don’t forget “my planet had to be destroyed to keep my sister from killing like the whole universe so now me and all my people are refugees. But hey, Loki’s back, that’s good news!”

Peter(raises his hand in the back): “…My homecoming date‘s dad turned out to be my arch nemesis and a building fell on me!“

Thor (smiles and gives a thumbs-up): “Good for you! (aside, to Tony)…Who is that person? Do we know him or did he just show up?”

T’Challa: My dad died, too.

Thor: I apologize for your loss, I know how it feels 

Thor: (To Steve) Who is that handsome man dressed like a kitten?

Starlord: My dad turned out to be this giant, planet eating god and tried to kill me so I had to kill him.

Thor: These things happen sometimes.

Thor: (to Banner) Are we just picking up strangers with sad family stories or…?

Yo real talk he was fire as hell.

Bisexual icon

What the gifs don’t convey is the soundtrack: the opening to Guns N Roses “Welcome to the Jungle.” Perf.

This movie was so fucking underrated. I blame the marketing. They tried to sell it as a face-off between Will Ferrell’s character and Brad Pitt’s, all because they didn’t want to spoil the twist: that Metro Man dies 10 minutes in. But it’s not that much of a twist, because the entire story is about what happens if the villain actually wins, and what makes a villain in the first place. I think it also got buried by Despicable Me, which came out at the same time, but this is infinitely superior.

Seriously, if you’ve never seen Megamind, go watch it right now. 

the soundtrack? excellent. the voice acting? superb. the humor? diamonds. and the “true” villain? this movie has a pretty rad message to it.

it was absolutely buried by dispicable me, which had minions. the minions are marketable to a fault. all you have to do to sell something is slap a minion on it. megamind didn’t have an equivalent and it didn’t have steve carrell doing an annoying accent either.

they were presented as two versions of the same story archetype, but the reality is that dispicable me is a story about families and adoption, while megamind is a story about agency and identity. when marketed side by side as two attempts at a villain-is-actually-a-good-guy story, megamind looks like it fails to measure up; but they are actually two very different movies.

https://www.instagram.com/tabriamajors/

thor ragnarok fight scene but holding out for a hero is playing

Something Rotten!

omg a musical song about COMPLAINING ABOUT WRITING My whole life I have been waiting for this. MY WHOLE LIFE.

OH MY WORD

YES.

@tinydadman

I REBLOG THIS EVERY SINGLE TIME IT COMES ON MY DASH AN I HAVE LOVED IT EVERY TIME

@queenof-starwars-and-otherthings @cooliogirl101 @blackkatmagic @shanatical @goaskalice137

Seeing this show live was one of the singular joys of my life and I love this song like few others.