Flying Pigs

no bro YOU live in a society, i live in the Cillian Murphy and Tom Hardy Cinematic Universe.

I could have just stayed right here.

reminder that corporations don't care about you and they never will

The entirety of the Simpsons is literally on your shitty streaming service you fucking cunts

Anakin murdering toddlers is also on their piece of shit service

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

i hope everybody is doing their best even tho we’re all doomed

So I do wonder how many children growing up during this pandemic are going to end up with like six thousand allergies.

My mom was a severe germophobe and it got worse as she got older and she got my dad into the habit of sanitizing everything. So when I was a baby I was allowed to hang out in dust and eat dirt and lick the cats back or whatever like a normal baby but my brother, who was born six years of germaphobia later, was constantly cleaned and living in a sanitized house.

I developed a slight allergy to bananas in my early 20s. That’s it. My brother as soon as he started eating was allergic to wheat, milk, every kind of nuts, bananas, avocados, peas, peanuts, and most kinds of beans.

After my mom died my dad kept up the sanitizing and my brother’s allergies seemed to keep getting worse. He ended up going to an allergist about it and she basically told him “Stop sanitizing everything and let him play in dirt.”

So we stopped sanitizing everything and my brother was let loose on the backyard were of course he did toddler stuff like eat dirt and chase butterflies.

Nowadays, he’s only allergic to nuts, peanuts, and bananas. And that’s not just a result of him growing up. His allergies started dropping off one by one months after he was allowed to get dirty and we stopped sanitizing everything.

When children grow up in a sanitized environment their immune systems find other things to fight. We’ve already got people saying that they’re gonna keep sanitizing their homes and their hands constantly even after the pandemic is over.

I’m not a doctor. I’m just repeating things that my brother’s doctors have told us.

Don’t sanitize everything forever. Let your kids play in the dirt and hang out with your dog. It’s good for them. Don’t turn your home into a bacteria-free hellscape. It’s bad for you.

Let’s be honest - Everest should be cut off from climbers, and the only people that should be allowed up there are ppl who volunteer to clean up all the garbage and human excrement adrenaline junkies have left up there over the decades, and anyone who volunteers to attempt to bring down any bodies of those who died.

The ascent is too dangerous, too many ill-equipped and unprepared climbers try to make the climb, and too much garbage is piling up and poisoning the run off that communities around Everest rely on to live.

“you can’t forget your mother tongue” okay but have you considered bilinguals and polyglots whose first language isn’t english and whose development during adolescence was shaped by consuming content and media only in english and have ever since viewed that second language, foreign to their own, as a better outlet for their emotions and thoughts? as Yiyun Li said “it is hard to feel in an adopted language, yet impossible in my native language.”

i came. i saw. i left early

My captain friend sent me this photo. Saudi prince bought ticket for his 80 hawks.

Nice

Apparently falcon passports are a mandatory thing throughout Arabia.

You have to appreciate the irony of birds on an airplane.

this is a poem

i couldn’t not draw this

This is the same guy that posted that group selfie titled „yes, these are both my hands“

THIS GUY (from his insta story)

I like how this is phrased as if Hozier is some rando

I got really confused for a second, because 3 of them are wearing the same shirt, but my mind thought it was a panorama shot of one person, like those pics of dogs running

Soft lederhosn core

how y’all look at the (usually) adult man who impregnated her