a.k.a., being accused vs. being seen

Buck + the Diaz boys + I got you (3x02 | 4x14)

And I thought, ‘Wow. That guy is cool. I like that guy.’

inspired by this post & its tags

He hates allergy season. Though he doesn’t often get sick, he’s had awful seasonal allergies since he was a kid. He usually gets ahead of them, but he ran out of Zyrtec last week and hasn’t had a chance to buy more. Long shifts and date nights have taken most of his spare time. He can’t find it in himself to be upset about the lack of medicine when he considers it that way.

Buck slumps into a chair at the table and sighs, head in his hands as he rubs his eyes tiredly. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and his muscles ache more than they should when he maneuvers it awkwardly out of his pocket.

It’s a good morning text from Tommy. Buck knows he’s coming off shift just as Buck goes on, so they won’t see each other for at least another day. Buck’s heart flutters at the message and he has to take a deep breath to steady himself. The inhale causes a coughing fit that has Hen watching him in concern, though he pointedly ignores it as he types his response.

morning! doing okay. allergies are killing me right now.

how was your shift?

He fires off the two messages and sets his phone down on the table just as a cup of coffee appears in his periphery. The perfect amount of cream lightens the coffee just how Buck likes it, and he doesn’t have to look up to know Eddie’s the one who’s brought it.

Buck wakes up to his phone ringing from the floor. He must have dropped it there at some point last night. He sighs and leans over to grab it, nearly falling out of bed with how far he has to reach. 

It's Eddie's face that greets him when he turns the phone over to look at the screen. He still hasn't changed the picture. He lets it ring, thumb poised over the answer button, hoping something will give him courage to do one thing, or the other. Nothing does, and the phone makes the decision for him as it goes black and silent in his hand. He thinks that's the first time he's let a call from Eddie ring through since before he disappeared.

The phone lights up again a second later. He watches it again, doesn't decline it (doesn't think he'd be able to even if he tried), but he doesn't answer it either. It rings for a long time, and then stops again. Then it pings with a text.

12:43 a.m.

[Eddie]: Pick up.

Buck has just enough time to read the message before the screen changes and the phone starts ringing again. After the fifth ring, he finally relents.

“I don’t want to end up being strangers,” Eddie is saying as soon as Buck brings the phone to his ear. “I don’t want to end up ten years from now wondering why the hell we never talk anymore.”

“What?”

“I want to try to be friends. Really try. I want to keep trying until we figure out how to make it all work. Because, yeah, I made a life while you were gone, and then you came back and now everything is so much more difficult, and neither of us really knows what we’re doing, but it doesn’t matter. Because I would still rather everything be so fucking difficult with you around, than to not have you around at all.”

“Right."

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“You forgive me?”

Buck sighs and stares up at the ceiling. Things would be quieter if they went their separate ways. Things would hurt less, in the long run, if Buck accepted what he can't change and moved on. Maybe he would even be happy. Was there ever any question?  “Of course I do, idiot,” he says softly.

evan buckley in 9-1-1: season 4